Hi Heather, welcome to BDD and BL
I am sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend's battles with addiction. Are you currently clean? Congrats on keeping on trying to get on top of this - it can be all too easy to give up sometimes.
I'm going to send this to Other Drugs as they tend to deal more with addiction queries, but I would also encourage you to take a look at
The Dark Side forum, which can give you a lot of support and advice for how to stay clean and get more motivation. I definitely recommend you post in there as I think they could really help you
They have different rules to the other forums, the main one being their "no triggering" rule - so no discussion about taking drugs recreationally, or glorifying drugs, or anything that could trigger a relapse. Discussing your addictions is fine, however.
The length of WD depends on the time it takes for the drug to completely leave your body, and the time it takes for your receptors and neurotransmitter levels to stabilise. In general, withdrawals last longer with drugs that have a longer half life, but (in theory at least) they should be a bit gentler, as the drug slowly leaves your system. For drugs with a short half life, WDs tend to be short lived and more intense. Oxycodone's half-life is 3-4 hours, morphine 2-3 hours and heroin (diamorphine) <10 mins although it is converted to morphine which has a longer half life and the effects of heroin tend to last longer - but all are fairly similar. The exact duration also depends on the duration of the addiction, the dose, how many times you have been through WDs and probably many other variables as well.
I think you are right to be worried about your bf's drinking and Adderall use - it's very common to transfer an addiction from one substance to another. How often is he drinking and how much per day? Have you spoken to him about this?
Motivation is a tricky thing. Some general pointers - make sure you are giving yourself the best possible chance by exercising (releasing endorphins and making you feel good about yourself), eating well and spending your free time doing things you enjoy that don't involve drugs. Perhaps write down all the reasons to stay clean, and what would happen if you got addicted again. Maybe save the money you are not spending on drugs and use it for a holiday or a treat. Try to reward yourself for staying clean, and to begin to associate drugs with thoughts about addiction, having to go through WDs again, and all the worst experiences you have had relating to your addiction. Bear in mind that one of the hardest things can be adjusting your mindset from the instant gratification of getting high, to the more long-term rewards of staying sober.. it can take some time, so be gentle on yourself.
The other thing to think about is whether you are depressed or have any other mental health issues which your drug use was masking. It's really common for people to self-medicate and if you are depressed then you will find motivation a lot harder. It's difficult to tell though as PAWS can also simulate depression.
Good luck!
BDD > OD
