Leaping Gnome
Bluelighter
Just a little bit about me and a question or two.
I signed up the other day. I've been reading BlueLight off and on for a year or more now. I usually end up here at the end of the month when my #240 15mg Oxycodone runs out one to four early. For the first time in going on three years of taking them I'm really keeping close count this month TRYING not to run out early.
I was hurt at work back in 1982. It was an accident where the seat broke off a step van I was driving. I got a head, neck and low back injury. The mechanics at work installed the seat using thin muffler pipe, instead of the THICK pipe that the van/seat calls for. For the 26 years I worked for them I was also hurt MANY times from their bad equipment. I've had surgery on both shoulders, surgery on both elbows and surgery to reconnect the left bicep tendon. I also should have surgery on my neck and low back...but you NEVER know how that will turn out and I know what I have to deal with now.
I'm a retired Teamster since 2006. I was lucky to make it to retirement age 52...and also able to qualify for state disability at the same time.
Since 1982 I've been on pain meds, TENS unit, inversion table and chiropractic. Other than the last three years of the Oxycodone I was mainly taking Vicoden...there were a few years of Percocet and Percodan. Being a Teamster and driving big rigs, there was no way I could get a script for pain meds...I got them all of those years from a family member. Without them there would've been no way to keep working!!!
I know what you’re thinking, pain meds + big rig = BAD!!! No, I was never in one accident that was my fault. (There were things like drunk/drugged kids running into the back of my rig because they didn't see me, even with flashing lights going...or a woman that blew a rear tire that went under my trailer.) I always knew what was around me, a way out if something happened, no tailgating, curtsey, just a plain old school type truck driver.
Anyway, through all of those years until with the Oxycodone I never had a real problem with addiction. Never had any W/D or real drug seeking crap. Sure, I did like the feeling I got from the Vicodon, etc., but NOTHING like with the Oxycodone! Like I said, I've run out early every month...and I KNOW how sick I get every month, but I still run out month in and month out. I'm TIRED without them, feel panicky, deep dark hole depressed, nothing is worth doing, board, old and just sitting around waiting to dye, hurt all over, sinuses close up so tight if I couldn't breathe through my mouth I would suffocate.
I'm about to the point of just living with the pain and get off the meds. I went to AA back in my 20's. (I was a violent crazy anything goes drunk!!!) I had not drank for over 25 years until a few months ago when I ran out of Oxy and NEEDED something to get a break from the W/D's. I'm about ready to give NA a try. I just for the life of me do not see how anyone can stop???
Many of you go to NA here? What can I expect?
Anyway, sorry for the life story. I didn't start it out to end up this long. It's getting around 6am here in Florida and I need to take my dog out for his bike ride before it gets too hot.
The Leaping Gnome doing the countdown on his meds.
I signed up the other day. I've been reading BlueLight off and on for a year or more now. I usually end up here at the end of the month when my #240 15mg Oxycodone runs out one to four early. For the first time in going on three years of taking them I'm really keeping close count this month TRYING not to run out early.
I was hurt at work back in 1982. It was an accident where the seat broke off a step van I was driving. I got a head, neck and low back injury. The mechanics at work installed the seat using thin muffler pipe, instead of the THICK pipe that the van/seat calls for. For the 26 years I worked for them I was also hurt MANY times from their bad equipment. I've had surgery on both shoulders, surgery on both elbows and surgery to reconnect the left bicep tendon. I also should have surgery on my neck and low back...but you NEVER know how that will turn out and I know what I have to deal with now.
I'm a retired Teamster since 2006. I was lucky to make it to retirement age 52...and also able to qualify for state disability at the same time.
Since 1982 I've been on pain meds, TENS unit, inversion table and chiropractic. Other than the last three years of the Oxycodone I was mainly taking Vicoden...there were a few years of Percocet and Percodan. Being a Teamster and driving big rigs, there was no way I could get a script for pain meds...I got them all of those years from a family member. Without them there would've been no way to keep working!!!
I know what you’re thinking, pain meds + big rig = BAD!!! No, I was never in one accident that was my fault. (There were things like drunk/drugged kids running into the back of my rig because they didn't see me, even with flashing lights going...or a woman that blew a rear tire that went under my trailer.) I always knew what was around me, a way out if something happened, no tailgating, curtsey, just a plain old school type truck driver.
Anyway, through all of those years until with the Oxycodone I never had a real problem with addiction. Never had any W/D or real drug seeking crap. Sure, I did like the feeling I got from the Vicodon, etc., but NOTHING like with the Oxycodone! Like I said, I've run out early every month...and I KNOW how sick I get every month, but I still run out month in and month out. I'm TIRED without them, feel panicky, deep dark hole depressed, nothing is worth doing, board, old and just sitting around waiting to dye, hurt all over, sinuses close up so tight if I couldn't breathe through my mouth I would suffocate.
I'm about to the point of just living with the pain and get off the meds. I went to AA back in my 20's. (I was a violent crazy anything goes drunk!!!) I had not drank for over 25 years until a few months ago when I ran out of Oxy and NEEDED something to get a break from the W/D's. I'm about ready to give NA a try. I just for the life of me do not see how anyone can stop???
Many of you go to NA here? What can I expect?
Anyway, sorry for the life story. I didn't start it out to end up this long. It's getting around 6am here in Florida and I need to take my dog out for his bike ride before it gets too hot.
The Leaping Gnome doing the countdown on his meds.
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