sconnie420
Ex-Bluelighter
I'm sorry dude and Good luck.. I really hope all this turns out in your favor.
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Cops decided to press attempted arson charges. I'm suicidal. Help.
- Thread starter dhcdavid
- Start date
anti-down
Greenlighter
Hello there, just read your post and wanted to offer my support - in any way possible - to you and even from the other side of the globe over here in Australia i want to show you that people do care and people will drag you up when you cant manage it any more. You're going through some serious shit at the moment, the legal stuff, the depression, past suicide attempts and your current suicidal ideation. And living in a small town with the expectations of others weighing down on you it can be really hard to imagine life without the constant burden of the shit you are in. It all sounds seriously heavy dude and I fully get that you feel like complete shit. I can see that you've got a number of reasons why you feel like suicide is an option, I can see why your reasons for dying are so clear to you and ultimately it's a release from the pain you're hoping to find.
At the same time I see you writing about your family and that you're trained as a teacher and even from those two comments I'm seeing you tell us about your reasons for living. Parts of your life that are living and breathing are important to you and that is what I see from your post, not just your reasons for dying. You are concerned about the outcome of the trial and your concern is for the effect it might have on your family. You're also worried about not being able to teach again. You provide an explanation for your behavior the night of the attempted fire and you do so because you know that you are not worthy of being punished - you know that you are a good person and that is so very clear through your whole post.
You know that your mental health problems are the reason for your behavior that night, and the other BL's are right - the care of your mental health professional is going to be so helpful in getting this problem fixed for you. So many positive aspects to your story deserve to be heard and there are so many students who will benefit from the life lessons you can provide for them. You are obviously a deeply emotional person and you have a great concern about your family. I suspect they might just feel the same way and you might save yourself a lot of worry by telling your family about it now rather than later - that way they can support you fully through it all.
Please consider coming online and posting right here before going through with any of your suicide plans. Remember that you have so many reasons for living and that they are always going to outshine your reasons for dying. Also consider keeping any supplies or equipment you have to suicide with at someone else's house, and please consider taking a chance on your family - they might react very differently than you imagine and they quite possibly do not judge you as harshly as you believe.
I wish you well and I look forward to hearing from you soon
Sarah xx
At the same time I see you writing about your family and that you're trained as a teacher and even from those two comments I'm seeing you tell us about your reasons for living. Parts of your life that are living and breathing are important to you and that is what I see from your post, not just your reasons for dying. You are concerned about the outcome of the trial and your concern is for the effect it might have on your family. You're also worried about not being able to teach again. You provide an explanation for your behavior the night of the attempted fire and you do so because you know that you are not worthy of being punished - you know that you are a good person and that is so very clear through your whole post.
You know that your mental health problems are the reason for your behavior that night, and the other BL's are right - the care of your mental health professional is going to be so helpful in getting this problem fixed for you. So many positive aspects to your story deserve to be heard and there are so many students who will benefit from the life lessons you can provide for them. You are obviously a deeply emotional person and you have a great concern about your family. I suspect they might just feel the same way and you might save yourself a lot of worry by telling your family about it now rather than later - that way they can support you fully through it all.
Please consider coming online and posting right here before going through with any of your suicide plans. Remember that you have so many reasons for living and that they are always going to outshine your reasons for dying. Also consider keeping any supplies or equipment you have to suicide with at someone else's house, and please consider taking a chance on your family - they might react very differently than you imagine and they quite possibly do not judge you as harshly as you believe.
I wish you well and I look forward to hearing from you soon
Sarah xx
Sarah: thank you so much for posting because even though the thread has lost some of its momentum - especially now the CPS has made a decision and decided to prosecute me for attempted arson of that fucking lorry and I'm now "just" waiting for my court appearance - this matter is still, not surprisingly, uppermost in my mind and I still have to decide if/when and how I'm going to tell my folks about it and more importantly I'm still worrying about how to stay strong enough (now and in the immediate future) to not feel suicide is my only real option and at the moment I'm still thinking about it everyday and until reading this post was about to walk to the woods where I plan to hang to myself and find a suitable spot, work out the drop, learn how to effectively execute (no pun intended) a hangman's noose... but instead I'm going to respond to your post and perhaps not do any actual suicide prep today at least.
I still haven't spoken to my doctor, mainly because I neither want him to place me in an acute-care mental health facility - which he may well do if I told him how truly and imminently suicidal I'm feeling - nor do I really want to sit and tell him that a few months back I was so low that in an inebriated state decided to solve the dual-problem of worrying about what suicide would do to my family and being terrified of commiting the actual act (i.e. place rope around my neck and jump so my neck would break) by attempting to blow up the fuel tank of a parked lorry and take myself with it.
Ever since making a very determined effort to off myself last august my cutting deeply into my forearms and then making a further attempt late last december to off myself by overdosing on my prescribed fentanyl patches my doctors have been so concerned I now have to pick up my pain meds on a weekly basis.I fear there's a very real possibility that if I told my gp everything that he may well decide I was such a suicide risk that supplying me with strong narcotics every week - no matter how legitimate or medically necessary they were - was too much of a risk: for me as the patient but also for my doctor and the practise he is a part of.
Quite apart from dealing effectively with my physical pain this fentanyl and oxycodone greatly help me to deal with life and I have no desire, especially not with all that's going on at the moment, to have them stopped. This - together with the preceding reason I've just outlined - is what's really stopping me telling all to my gp. And quite apart from these reasons I'm not hopeful that he'd be able to do much for me anyway.
As to my teaching? All teachers in the UK are vetted thoroughly before being employed and it's been hard enough finding employment with a 6 year old caution for possession of Class C drugs (the least harmful class - in this case it was concerning benzos illegally purchased over the internet without a valid prescription) but add to that a court conviction for attempted arson? Well, then there is almost no chance of ever finding employment as a teacher ever again. Period.
And even though I'm in some agreement over how my parents might react about all this towards me that sadly doesn't negate the fact it's very likely to be found out by my father's parishoners and friends and I just can't bear knowing how embarrassing and shaming it would be for him. I just don't know how I'm going to tell my folks and even if Im going to tell them.
On a lighter note I do hope that this thread about this whole nightmarish situation - and the compassion and wisdom of many of the responses contained herein - might help someone else out there, perhaps even make someone think twice about doing something which with hindsight would seem excessive or foolish.
Sarah, to close, I sadly can't give the equipment I might use to commit suicide to anyone else as I'm currently staying in my parent's house while they're away, and my two little brothers are also here (20 and 22) so the equipment is here and I don't have any friends in this town and can't tell my little brothers how suicidal Im feeling because I don't want them to worry - and they would - so I'm just going to have to live with it for the moment but it was sound advice and I really thank you for giving it.
Many many thanks for your post: you summed up the whole tangled web that is this nightmare situation for me perfectly and you have also caused me to pause and reconsider my plans for suicide. Please post again if you think of anything else Thank you once more.
I still haven't spoken to my doctor, mainly because I neither want him to place me in an acute-care mental health facility - which he may well do if I told him how truly and imminently suicidal I'm feeling - nor do I really want to sit and tell him that a few months back I was so low that in an inebriated state decided to solve the dual-problem of worrying about what suicide would do to my family and being terrified of commiting the actual act (i.e. place rope around my neck and jump so my neck would break) by attempting to blow up the fuel tank of a parked lorry and take myself with it.
Ever since making a very determined effort to off myself last august my cutting deeply into my forearms and then making a further attempt late last december to off myself by overdosing on my prescribed fentanyl patches my doctors have been so concerned I now have to pick up my pain meds on a weekly basis.I fear there's a very real possibility that if I told my gp everything that he may well decide I was such a suicide risk that supplying me with strong narcotics every week - no matter how legitimate or medically necessary they were - was too much of a risk: for me as the patient but also for my doctor and the practise he is a part of.
Quite apart from dealing effectively with my physical pain this fentanyl and oxycodone greatly help me to deal with life and I have no desire, especially not with all that's going on at the moment, to have them stopped. This - together with the preceding reason I've just outlined - is what's really stopping me telling all to my gp. And quite apart from these reasons I'm not hopeful that he'd be able to do much for me anyway.
As to my teaching? All teachers in the UK are vetted thoroughly before being employed and it's been hard enough finding employment with a 6 year old caution for possession of Class C drugs (the least harmful class - in this case it was concerning benzos illegally purchased over the internet without a valid prescription) but add to that a court conviction for attempted arson? Well, then there is almost no chance of ever finding employment as a teacher ever again. Period.
And even though I'm in some agreement over how my parents might react about all this towards me that sadly doesn't negate the fact it's very likely to be found out by my father's parishoners and friends and I just can't bear knowing how embarrassing and shaming it would be for him. I just don't know how I'm going to tell my folks and even if Im going to tell them.
On a lighter note I do hope that this thread about this whole nightmarish situation - and the compassion and wisdom of many of the responses contained herein - might help someone else out there, perhaps even make someone think twice about doing something which with hindsight would seem excessive or foolish.
Sarah, to close, I sadly can't give the equipment I might use to commit suicide to anyone else as I'm currently staying in my parent's house while they're away, and my two little brothers are also here (20 and 22) so the equipment is here and I don't have any friends in this town and can't tell my little brothers how suicidal Im feeling because I don't want them to worry - and they would - so I'm just going to have to live with it for the moment but it was sound advice and I really thank you for giving it.
Many many thanks for your post: you summed up the whole tangled web that is this nightmare situation for me perfectly and you have also caused me to pause and reconsider my plans for suicide. Please post again if you think of anything else Thank you once more.
anti-down
Greenlighter
You are so very welcome, I am glad that you found you could at least reconsider your suicide plans - even if it was just for the day. It is often enough just to make it through one day at a time, in the short term, until you can access the support you need. I am trained in suicide intervention and I work closely with suicidal people so I understand and I feel for you. The overwhelming feelings of desperation and hopelessness, along with the daily exposure to the emotional torture felt by suicidal people are often underestimated and the impact is devastating and always taken very seriously.
Just on the issue of approaching your GP - Yes you're right, they might reconsider your current medication and may possibly look at reducing your supply of oxy, although if your GP has prescribed these for you for some time, it's unlikely that they'd do anything drastic medication wise while you are experiencing these feelings. But it's probably not a chance you'd like to take just the same!
Can you access any counselling services or informal psychological support networks in your area instead of approaching your GP? Just simply talking things through a couple of times a week can be helpful, and so can talking to us here at BL.
I totally understand your anxieties around causing your father embarrassment within the parish and community. And I have to say that once again, the obvious love and concern you have for your family is shining brightly through everything else! Here is my take on it - and this is only my opinion, and only one of many possible outcomes resulting from word getting out... But considering the nature of the circle of friends your father is likely to keep - being the Vicar of the church - my first thought was that the community would come together in compassion and support of you, rather than in criticism and scorn. And looking at it in another light, it could be a good opportunity for the Church to raise awareness of the issue of suicide and of mental health in your community.
And on the other hand, if the community instead chooses to judge, criticize and persecute you and your father - what is the worst thing that could happen? Rather than thinking in terms of negative consequences, its a good habit to start including one positive possibility or outcome into your thinking patterns! We all project our anxieties into the future, so its helpful to project something positive as well to kind of "balance" things out a bit.
I have to run, it's 8.30 Sunday morning here and I'm apparently cooking up a big breakfast! But I will be back shortly to respond to a few other things you mentioned.
Just on the issue of approaching your GP - Yes you're right, they might reconsider your current medication and may possibly look at reducing your supply of oxy, although if your GP has prescribed these for you for some time, it's unlikely that they'd do anything drastic medication wise while you are experiencing these feelings. But it's probably not a chance you'd like to take just the same!
Can you access any counselling services or informal psychological support networks in your area instead of approaching your GP? Just simply talking things through a couple of times a week can be helpful, and so can talking to us here at BL.
I totally understand your anxieties around causing your father embarrassment within the parish and community. And I have to say that once again, the obvious love and concern you have for your family is shining brightly through everything else! Here is my take on it - and this is only my opinion, and only one of many possible outcomes resulting from word getting out... But considering the nature of the circle of friends your father is likely to keep - being the Vicar of the church - my first thought was that the community would come together in compassion and support of you, rather than in criticism and scorn. And looking at it in another light, it could be a good opportunity for the Church to raise awareness of the issue of suicide and of mental health in your community.
And on the other hand, if the community instead chooses to judge, criticize and persecute you and your father - what is the worst thing that could happen? Rather than thinking in terms of negative consequences, its a good habit to start including one positive possibility or outcome into your thinking patterns! We all project our anxieties into the future, so its helpful to project something positive as well to kind of "balance" things out a bit.
I have to run, it's 8.30 Sunday morning here and I'm apparently cooking up a big breakfast! But I will be back shortly to respond to a few other things you mentioned.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Update.
I endured a hugely traumatic court appearance two days back.
My legal aid "solicitor" was a fucking moron. My cat could have done a better job defending me.
The magistrate ("judge") was clearly having a difficult morning and was in a foul mood. Oh yeah, and the police have only sent the prosecution the notes from my first interview where I "no commented" all the way through.
The immensly important second interview I gave (see earlier in thread) the police, the one where I went into some depth about all the extenuating circumstances, didn't make it to court.
Luckily there was a senior probation guy in court who managed to persuade the judge to adjourn sentencing for 2 or 3 weeks so that they (the probation service) can put together a comprehensive report. I'm going in to talk to them next week.
Good God.
Words can't quite express how traumatised and worried I am at present.
I endured a hugely traumatic court appearance two days back.
My legal aid "solicitor" was a fucking moron. My cat could have done a better job defending me.
The magistrate ("judge") was clearly having a difficult morning and was in a foul mood. Oh yeah, and the police have only sent the prosecution the notes from my first interview where I "no commented" all the way through.
The immensly important second interview I gave (see earlier in thread) the police, the one where I went into some depth about all the extenuating circumstances, didn't make it to court.
Luckily there was a senior probation guy in court who managed to persuade the judge to adjourn sentencing for 2 or 3 weeks so that they (the probation service) can put together a comprehensive report. I'm going in to talk to them next week.
Good God.
Words can't quite express how traumatised and worried I am at present.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
thank goodness for the senior probation guy 
. He obviously must have noticed what a wreck you were there. Keep your head up, the 2nd interview information is important and will help you a lot.Try not to focus to much worry on the situation. I know it's probably impossible to block out, but if you can keep your mind busy and on other things, you might be able to keep you sanity a bit better.
Keep us updated and try to remain calm. It sounds like the senior probation member knew a little of what he was doing and how it can help you, so that offers some good hope .
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Sounds like there were only two real human beings present--you and the senior probation officer. I'm sorry, David. I know that this must be hell to go through. Keep us posted. I have been thinking about you and wondering what was happening.
benzoheadplus44
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2008
- Messages
- 316
i am a registered arsonist in the US... i got probation plus the conviction... two years, plus i fucked up and got many arrests on my 3 year bond/bail...
so i did 55 days in jail... but the thing is 4 years later, and another probation later, crimes, and shit....
you should be ok especially being your first crime...
i read the OP and skipped to posting... i did mine when i was 18 , i am 25 now... it affected me until last year... then i got a dui that i am almost over with.... probation wise... i need to post my introductory post still but i couldnt help but post when i saw the arson thread...
good luck though, everything will be alright
so i did 55 days in jail... but the thing is 4 years later, and another probation later, crimes, and shit....
you should be ok especially being your first crime...
i read the OP and skipped to posting... i did mine when i was 18 , i am 25 now... it affected me until last year... then i got a dui that i am almost over with.... probation wise... i need to post my introductory post still but i couldnt help but post when i saw the arson thread...
good luck though, everything will be alright
Thanks for the posts Stardust, Herbavore and benzohead.
The probation man talked to me very briefly before I left court and he said to me:
"This is ridiculous. You need our help and support. Not punishment. When you're interviewed by me you can tell me everything. You can take 2 or 3 hours if necessary, time is not an issue."
As Stardust astutely commented, the probation guy was the only person batting for team me that day. Truly. I swear if he hadn't been there I'd walked out of that court (if at all as a free man...) and straight away topped myself. Swear to god.
I haven't slept properly in a week, just a nervous wreck. Thank you so much to you guys in this thread for taking the time to share your thoughts about my current predicament.
The probation man talked to me very briefly before I left court and he said to me:
"This is ridiculous. You need our help and support. Not punishment. When you're interviewed by me you can tell me everything. You can take 2 or 3 hours if necessary, time is not an issue."
As Stardust astutely commented, the probation guy was the only person batting for team me that day. Truly. I swear if he hadn't been there I'd walked out of that court (if at all as a free man...) and straight away topped myself. Swear to god.
I haven't slept properly in a week, just a nervous wreck. Thank you so much to you guys in this thread for taking the time to share your thoughts about my current predicament.
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Many thanks Captain.Heroin. One can never have enough folk lining up to bat for one's team, eh?
AminoAcid
Bluelighter
Make sure you get as many psychiatrist reports as you can clearly telling the court about your mental health, and it seems you don't even need to exaggerate.
When I was younger I also got wasted and took my Dad's new Merc for a joy ride and completely messed it up (flipped it taking out another car, luckily only I was injured and insurance covered costs), cops brought charges of reckless driving, speeding, drunk driving, etc., but got in zero legal trouble because had doctors reports stating it was an attempted suicide (they saw it as so blatantly crazy that it was really the only logical conclusion, lol).
Knocking yourself off (and I'm not going to lie, I've definitely strongly considered it in the past) is a massive spiritual No-no. Think about it, out of the countless millions of sperm you got there first, the chances you're even alive as you are is beyond astronomical. You can't just give that up. Give it literally everything you have, be like a pit-bull in your stubborness to go-on, and one day I GUARANTEE you'll look back and laugh.
When I was younger I also got wasted and took my Dad's new Merc for a joy ride and completely messed it up (flipped it taking out another car, luckily only I was injured and insurance covered costs), cops brought charges of reckless driving, speeding, drunk driving, etc., but got in zero legal trouble because had doctors reports stating it was an attempted suicide (they saw it as so blatantly crazy that it was really the only logical conclusion, lol).
Knocking yourself off (and I'm not going to lie, I've definitely strongly considered it in the past) is a massive spiritual No-no. Think about it, out of the countless millions of sperm you got there first, the chances you're even alive as you are is beyond astronomical. You can't just give that up. Give it literally everything you have, be like a pit-bull in your stubborness to go-on, and one day I GUARANTEE you'll look back and laugh.
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Inspiring. Thanks for those strong words AminoAcid. Peace and blessings to you too from me.
Update: probation officer prepared a long report and concluded by stating he felt a full psychiatric report (done by a qualified psychiatrist) was what the court should go for.
My solicitor was unsure whether the court would go for that because the funding for said psychiatric report comes from the magistrates court's budget. Was in court last Monday and the magistrates adjourned proceedings for another month and decided to take my probation officer's advice and ask for a full psychiatric report.
I then received a letter this morning giving me an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 26th of October.
Many thanks to all who've been following this saga and sending me good vibes. The suicidal feelings are still there every day but I'm battling them and trying to look for that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
My solicitor was unsure whether the court would go for that because the funding for said psychiatric report comes from the magistrates court's budget. Was in court last Monday and the magistrates adjourned proceedings for another month and decided to take my probation officer's advice and ask for a full psychiatric report.
I then received a letter this morning giving me an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 26th of October.
Many thanks to all who've been following this saga and sending me good vibes. The suicidal feelings are still there every day but I'm battling them and trying to look for that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
eireann
Bluelighter
what a worthless comment some one cant discuss drugs,but you tell the op there is worst things he can do to his family than kill himself,well done!!!
pyshcocentric
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2012
- Messages
- 93
Hey there im somewhat new round here, but i just stubbled apon this thread and read the it all (which means i was very interested, considering it had bad ADHD, almost nothing catches my attention long enough to read at length). Im so glad you are going to a physiatrist, i have been suicidal before when i was using opiates (sober 11 months) started goin to a psychiatrist and my life has changed in regards to the suicidal ideation, i think that will be a great step in your survival.
P.s. i had to go to 2 different DR. before i got the right one, at first i lied to myself about the first one thinking "yea this is helping" i had to look deep and ask truly "is it". If this one doesn't work for you, dont give up you can get another referral. find the one right for you... you will know when you have found them, its a good feeling!
Quantz
Greenlighter
reading what you're struggling with , really bothers me , because I know how you feel . In rehab the psych hammered me with 5 diagnosis , sick right ? Social Anxiety , PTSD , Dysthymia , ADD , and Anti-Social Personality Disorder . Technically , that would make me a Sociopath . talk about fucked . Not that I didn't take it all with a grain of salt being as I'm very hard headed and go toe - toe with every Psych I've been with . I'm like a mental illness defense attorney . Regardless of whats wrong with me , know you're not alone . EVER . I'm so happy to see how many amazing people are here , cheering , hoping , and praying ( If you believe in that shit ) for you .
It will work out , now maybe you can see why some people turn to God . if you want to believe it was part of his plan for you , then why not ? Thats why I'll NEVER bash religion , if it helps an individual , all the more power to them . I've even used it as a cop out that my whole past was to make stronger today , which realistically weather its some Divine Intervention , or I was just an absolute fuck -up , Is up to me to decide , and which one would I feel more comfortable with ? Yes , I'll delude myself with spirituality if it helps me sleep at night and wake up with a smile . I've been to equally dark places where I've shot 3 grams of dope , had a bottle of whisky ready to down next but I passed out 3/4 of the way through the rig and woke up in the ER to a narcan shot , my heart stopped all of that . And I COULDNT be happier , that now clean and sober , someone was looking out for me up there , whatever you choose to believe is up to you .
You're in my thoughts and prayers weather you like it or not
EDIT :
Out of curiousity I'm unsure if you mentioned , how old are you ?
you ARE strong enough to get through this , like you said , theyre FEELINGS , and thats all . Master your emotions rather than succumbing to them . Sociopath or not , yes we have feelings , but a lack of empathy torwards others , but as you described you're feeling, I'm trying my best to assume they're similar , and they suck .
You'll get through it , dont give up . be a hard headed , SELFISH , me - me -me type person for a while if you have to . Worry about no body but yourself , and what makes you happy . I know theres something out there that does .Find it , and work on it , one step at a time .
Best wishes Bro , I know you'll get over this speed-bump on the highway . And not wanting to delve deeper with your doc because you don't want your opiates cut ? This is where i want to be hard on you . If you want to get better , GET OFF THOSE FUCKING BLUE DEVILS . Whats more important , you're well being ? or a high in which you fall back down to earth with no parachute , harder every time. Stop chasing the short term .
Much love brother , - rob
It will work out , now maybe you can see why some people turn to God . if you want to believe it was part of his plan for you , then why not ? Thats why I'll NEVER bash religion , if it helps an individual , all the more power to them . I've even used it as a cop out that my whole past was to make stronger today , which realistically weather its some Divine Intervention , or I was just an absolute fuck -up , Is up to me to decide , and which one would I feel more comfortable with ? Yes , I'll delude myself with spirituality if it helps me sleep at night and wake up with a smile . I've been to equally dark places where I've shot 3 grams of dope , had a bottle of whisky ready to down next but I passed out 3/4 of the way through the rig and woke up in the ER to a narcan shot , my heart stopped all of that . And I COULDNT be happier , that now clean and sober , someone was looking out for me up there , whatever you choose to believe is up to you .
You're in my thoughts and prayers weather you like it or not
EDIT :
Out of curiousity I'm unsure if you mentioned , how old are you ?
you ARE strong enough to get through this , like you said , theyre FEELINGS , and thats all . Master your emotions rather than succumbing to them . Sociopath or not , yes we have feelings , but a lack of empathy torwards others , but as you described you're feeling, I'm trying my best to assume they're similar , and they suck .
You'll get through it , dont give up . be a hard headed , SELFISH , me - me -me type person for a while if you have to . Worry about no body but yourself , and what makes you happy . I know theres something out there that does .Find it , and work on it , one step at a time .
Best wishes Bro , I know you'll get over this speed-bump on the highway . And not wanting to delve deeper with your doc because you don't want your opiates cut ? This is where i want to be hard on you . If you want to get better , GET OFF THOSE FUCKING BLUE DEVILS . Whats more important , you're well being ? or a high in which you fall back down to earth with no parachute , harder every time. Stop chasing the short term .
Much love brother , - rob
Quantz: you asked so I'll tell you.... I'm 35 years young. Although I must confess this whole saga I'm currently mixed up in is making me feel 20 years older...
To you and the others who've responded to my most recent post: blessings and love to all of you.
It means SO much to me that there are Bluelighters out there in the world thinking of me and praying for me. Thankyou and please keep sending me those good vibes!
Much love, Dhcdavid x
To you and the others who've responded to my most recent post: blessings and love to all of you.
It means SO much to me that there are Bluelighters out there in the world thinking of me and praying for me. Thankyou and please keep sending me those good vibes!
Much love, Dhcdavid x