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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Constant DP after cocaine use, please help

L

Lizziedoll

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 20, 2016
Messages
11
Hi everyone my name is Lizzie I'm 29 and desperately need help, I thought this forum might be my best bet. I was a reasonably happy and together person up to a few weeks ago but one night changed everything. A bit of background: I've never really used drugs in my life, I'd smoke weed here and there (hated it, made me freakout everytime) and cocaine very occasionally (like once a year, enjoyed it, had an emotional comedown for a day and that'd be it). I have a history of anxiety (health anxiety mainly), depression, I'm a naturally paranoid person with a big imagination! Around 3 months ago I started dating a massive cokehead and started taking cocaine with him maybe once a week. We'd share a gram between us at the weekend so not very much at all. It'd keep me up, and was fun, the comedowns were horrid the next day however, also I noticed that after snorting each line, I'd get a buzz but soon after would feel really paranoid and anxious, like my mind was numb and couldn't find anything interesting to say or speak, I felt withdrawn almost locked in my own head. However the next day I'd be fine everytime once the comedown had passed, I would always get vision problems the next day though, like snow vision. 5 weeks ago I met him and did two lines (fairly small) along with a shot of liquor and a couple of vodka tonics. I felt an incredible high, I was on top of the world really and had a great night. However the next day around mid morning I started feeling really weird, like time was dragging and I just felt unreal. This feeling never left me. Also the snow vision was back and didn't go either I also have problems focusing, problems with concentration and short term memory. The first few days after that my pupils were massively dilated too although that went away. At first I thought I might've done damage to my brain and had a CT scan along with all sorts of blood tests, I had my eyes checked too. All normal. I was prescribed antidepressants and benzos as I was so freaked out and my anxiety levels were insane. I did some research and realised what I was experiencing was depersonalisation and it has been constant for 5 weeks, nothing works, not even benzos. I tried everything, meditating, breathing exercises, went away on holiday, spent time with my loved ones etc, the anxiety has mainly gone now thanks to the antidepressants but the depersonalisation won't leave me or the snow vision. It's left me feeling like I'm stuck like this forever and I haven't been able to socialise as I'm paranoid my behaviour has changed and I'm scared my friends notice. Anyone experience this or know what might've happened or can offer some advice? I'd really appreciate it.
 
theres really nothing we can tell u to feel better other than it will get better with time away from drugs..u seem like a sensitive person to drugs if u have a come down off a half gram of coke thru a weekend..focus on being healthy and a little exercise..ive done MASSIVE amounts of drugs and really fucked up my mind and emotions from it..but it ALWAYS got better

u said that u have always been a anxious person so i would bet most of your problems stem from that..anxiety can make us stay in that negative head space of a comedown if you are constantly worrying about everything that is wrong

best of luck %)
 
Thank you for your message. What's strange is that all my friends were ok that night but because I've had such a horrible experience and still have depersonalisation 5 weeks on I thought maybe it was laced with something else or that the coke had somehow "rewired" my brain. I'm due to see a psychiatrist in a few weeks. Do you really think this wasn't caused by the drug alone and do you think I'll feel normal again eventually?
 
I just posted something simular on here that happen to me but it was with dextroamphetamine (Adderall). No visual snow but I've had massive floaters in both my eyes since third grade (no idea where they came from). They may be a chance the coke was laced but if you're friends were fine I think time is your best friend as CDKman says.
 
Thanks for your message, hope you're ok now? I don't know much about drugs and very naively thought things like this couldn't happen. I'm being patient but it's been almost 6 weeks of living in a dream like state and I'm starting to worry I'll never be back to normal. Can any drug cause permanent dissociation like this? I hear some things can cause problems for up to a year and I'd be ok waiting that long as long as it is a year and not my whole life! It's very hard to function and work as I'm not very alert, have terrible short term memory problems and concentration.
 
I highly doubt a drug like coke can rewire your brain only using sparingly..with heavy use it definitely can cause problems..its possible that it could of been a research chemical stimulant but if your friends are fine i doubt that also

coke has an extremly short high and comedown and is mostly out of your system in a few days..this problem is likely triggered by the panic that u felt during the experience..i had a horrible panic attack on coke where it triggered alwhat can only be called like a heart paranoia..i was constantly thinkin that i was having a heart attack when my anxiety turned into a panic attack..this lAsted a few months..it got better on its own but mostly beacause of me convincing myself i was okay

with that said the coke itself didnt trigger it physically it was a mental problem that i creAtied in my head while in an intoxicated mindset..thats the power of the panic state making an imprint in your mind of an irrAtional fear

its good you are seeing a mental health professional..us drug users can only help so much.lol..hopfully u can get to the core issue of the problem

have a good day :D
 
I am constantly encountering posts where cocaine is having long lasting physical and mental effects. Levamisol is an active cut they are using in south america before it is shipped abroad. It metabolizes into aminorex and also causes pretty severe vasoconstrivtion and increases the negative side effects of cocaine in general. It is much more cardiotoxic. It is just bad news. This is much more common than people think.

I can only suggest that you abstain from cocaine and get adequate exercise as well as ensire that you are getting good nutrition. This feeling will pass, just be patient. You wont have done any permanent damage but I know how experiencing this can make you worried, it can be confusing.
 
That's interesting. I am based in London England by the way, no idea where that coke comes from. Anyway thank you very much for your replies everyone. My antidepressants seem to have finally kicked in and I'm feeling a lot less anxious and disconnected
 
Glad youre feeling better, so am I thank god. Ive heard rTMS can help depersonalization (just google the term)
 
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