Confused and Need Help

[ledzeppelinfan69]

Excuse me for the lengthiness of this post but I appreciate anyone who will look this over and help me out. I never used drugs before besides marijuana twice and salvia back in high school. I have been a heavy drinker for the past five years, drinking until blackout every weekend. I know I have an alcohol problem. Over the summer I got in a relationship with a girl who was into all sorts of drugs. I was intoxicated and tried a dab with her and tripped badly; everything looked like paper Mario and was flashing by. I saw trails off of all the THC. The other thing I am concerned about is what really is bothering me. A month later I was at her house intoxicated and she was doing lines of something...she put the powder on my tongue and I started seeing brighter lights; everything seemed louder, clearer, and I was more engaged. I have no idea what this was..she told me Mdma. I passed out shortly after and woke up sweating. I had the most painful headache for three days. Ever since I was still able to function in everyday life. Until last month. I forget everything. I can't focus on tv shows, movies, conversations, anything. I can't hear as good as I used to either. I have trouble deciphering where sounds are coming from and engaging in anything. Things don't sound the same..they seem drowned out and poor quality..like listening to something on a cassette player as opposed to a crisp mp3? I also can't get an erection at all...like at all at all. The worst is that the world feels like it is moving slower, I can't look at people in the eyes, or at all in general. I sometimes get this strange feeling like my hand is sticky and makes everything I touch sticky..but I asked someone to see if I was right and they said no my hand was just cold..I was selling cars and very successful at it but I lost my job last month for not meeting my quota. Doing internet sales I felt like I couldn't read my computer anymore; everything seemed like it was moving off the page, I was forgetting clients names..etc. Could the supposed mdma while intoxicated or dabs have made this happen to me?

 

[herbavore]

It sounds to me like you need to get a thorough check-up from a doctor and be sure to tell them all your symptoms. Also, if you are drinking to blackout every weekend that is really bad for you in every way. Before you have everything in your life fall apart maybe you should think about getting help for the substance abuse. It can be scary, especially because there is usually a lot going on that makes you feel like you need to be high, and facing it is tough. But the positive is that you can deal with it once you are willing to look at it; the other option is prolonged misery.

What you are going through does sound scary but remember that you can also make it worse by worrying about it and being hyper-aware of every sensation, etc. Try to do calming things like slow deep breathing when you feel yourself getting stressed out. And do get yourself checked out by an MD.

 

[ledzeppelinfan69]

The hardest thing is feeling like I can't connect with anyone the same as I used to be able to and the inability to remember anything..feels like everything is a blur. I also would zone out on my computer and would feel like the words were pulling apart or moving up and down. I just don't feel right

 

[Trying2Iso]

Derealization disorder?
or perhaps a Conversion disorder.
i would ask a psychiatrist for a mood stabilizer like Depakote (valproic acid) or maybe an antipsychotic to help with your symptoms.
I've been on antipsychotics for the past few years, they kinda suck sometimes but they DO help with symptoms i have like psychosis and hearing voices.
I'd recommend either Abilify (aripiprazole) or Latuda (Lurasidone) they leave you with at least SOME emotion to work with

 

[herbavore]

Again, please see a doctor and do not rely on an internet drug forum for diagnosis.