Compulsive Drug Use (Soft Opiates & Potentiators)

[Biochemistry]

I have a tricky problem that I am endeavouring to deal with at present: compulsive drug use. For the past couple of weeks, I have been having quite intense cravings to ingest codeine along with diphenhydramine. When I used to take codeine, I would ingest approximately 240mg. If I consumed it alone, the effects would be minimal, but potentiated with diphenhydramine / dxm / both, would result in profound euphoria for approximately 2 hours. I was never physically addicted to these substances and could always control my use to, at most, once per week. That being said, I do suffer from OCD (among other things), and I do have a problem with "compulsive" use of drugs; however, I know that I can limit my intake as I am exceptionally conscious of physical addiction and other potential physiological damage.

An example of my compulsive use: I made a decision to buy some kratom, which I do enjoy. I thought I would "centralise" my addictive tendencies to kratom only. However, this seems to have greatly fueled my intense desire to take codeine and diphenhydramine again because I know it is much more euphoric; it seems that I am always comparing the feelings of the two drugs. This path of escalation has happened before, and it always ends up to using codeine and diphenhydramine once per week.

Would you say that I am psychologically addicted to the codeine / potentiator combination? Is compulsive drug taking a major issue? I only have one of the symptoms of "substance dependence", which is, indeed, the "compulsive" urge aspect.

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Cheers.

 

[RobotRipping]

i would say you are definitely psychologically addicted, especially if you are craving the high.

compulsive drug use is a big issue or at least can be. The issue for me is that if i get compulsive about dosing i start to lose control which can lead to all sorts of trouble. I think it is one of the big warning signs for addiction and probably one of the longest lingering effects after you quit.

The physical addiction is not the real issue, it's when you start to constantly crave being high and/or can't function without it. I can't see a whole lot of trouble dosing a max of once per week except if you fall into daily dosing. The compulsions could drive you to rationalize use more and more. I would try to consider why you feel the need to take codeine other than the euphoria, what drives the compulsion, what are you thinking beforehand or how do you feel when you get the compulsions. I think having some insight into this issue will help with the compulsions.

 

[n3wt]

Our brains are, at their most basic, difference machines.

They associate, and they discriminate. Every new experience is organized based upon how it relates to past experiences, and how it is different. As someone with OCD I'm sure you're intimately aware that these associations aren't always positive or healthy.

I think you're looking at it too narrowly. You're craving the drugs, but what else? What else is consistent about your use?

As an example, on my days off I tend to read, watch the news, play guitar and drink beer. If I find myself on a day off doing the aforementioned activities but I don't have beer, I'll be irritable. I'm not physically dependent on alcohol, not having it doesn't cause me any discomfort, I've just associated the idea of a relaxing day off with the mild sedation I get from drinking beer.

 

[psycosynthesis]

You definitely have a mental obsession with the drugs. Also keep in mind that codeine converts to morphine, one of the most addictive drugs out there aside from nicotine.

However, if you are only taking it once a week I wouldn't be worried unless it becomes a major problem for your life.

I've had a heroin habit before, so I have a bit of experience with addiction. If you think you're getting worse, PM me for a chat

 

[Biochemistry]

Thank you very much for the replies; it is greatly appreciated!

There is one thing I have learned this week: I am incapable of controlling my recreational drug use - it is as simple as that. When I attempted to "centralise" my moderate usage to kratom, the compulsive urges and behaviours (to use immediately and/or plan and urge to use harder substances) crept back into my daily life, so too did the shame of using in a compulsive/secretive manner. I simply need to accept that I have very strong substance addiction tendencies, and because of this, I cannot EVER control my compulsions and urges to use; it's almost like I become a completely different person with utterly different moral values - it's crazy how opiates can do this to people.

For me at least, I believe the only way forward is complete abstinence from all drugs and alcohol. I know I can do it because I had, prior to this week, abstained from all substances for approximately one year. I think it would be a moronic decision to ruin what I have done so far.

Cheers.