Complete abstinence

[infectedmushroom]

Hi guys, I've been addicted to opiates for about four years (mainly weaker ones like codeine, DHC, and occasionally PST) and Benzos (for about a year and a half.) I watched Russel Brands' documentary From Addiction to Recovery and it got me thinking about complete abstinence as a solution to my drug problems. This post is probably more theoretical than a direct ask for help, as really I want to see what other peoples experiences are

Long story short, Russel follows an abstinence based program, which has helped him stay clean for over a decade. I found myself agreeing with him quietly that yes, if you have a drug addiction, it seems the use of any drug has the great potential to trigger relapses even if the drug you use is not your DOC. Then I started wondering; why am I addicted to certain drugs and not other ones?

I've abused cigarettes, smoking a few a day, for a few months, then stopped, with no noticeable cravings or withdrawals. I feel sick, actually, when I think about them. I smoked cannabis for years, mostly in my late teens, and abused it with some negative consequences which caused me to cut down - namely paranoia and anxiety. Nowadays, I can hit the bud a few nights in a row, once a week, once a month, whenever, the point being, I'm not addicted to it. I've abused alcohol but have never developed a physical or psychological dependency. I can't drink more than a few nights in a row before feeling an overwhelming need to take a decent break. Why isn't it like that with opiates and benzos? In other words; Why do some people get addicted to certain substances and not others? Does it really matter what the substance is, at the end of the day? If you're addicted to one drug, why does it follow axiomatically that all other psychoactive substances should be off limit if you want to recover?

Before I go on I realize I'm placing myself at the center of this thread which goes against what I said earlier on, but it's the easiest way for me to share my thoughts - so let me continue. Is abstinence really the answer for me? - at 23, I view it as being virtually inconceivable. My best stretch of sobriety in the past few years has been two months (no opiates and no benzos) and I used pot and alcohol very rarely during that time - neither of which triggered me to relapse. What triggered me was having a fever and an incessant dry cough which I medicated with codeine syrup. "I'll just chip from now on." Obviously I returned to previous habits.

The question for you BL: Have you tried abstinence based recovery? Has it worked? Not worked? Thoughts, feelings, grievances, praises? I remember telling myself when I got clean; "just no opiates and benzos. It's not that hard - you can still enjoy pot, the odd drink, or cigarette. It's only a small part of your life you need to change." It didn't work for me. I'm not sure how to adjust my mentality to give myself the best shot to get over my bad habits - as I can't imagine not being able to enjoy the odd spliff or psychedelics, for example.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I hoped that I can find a way of making controlled use of substances work. I see things similarly to you - I have a HEROIN problem, not a general substance abuse problem. I'd done every drug before heroin, even oxys, coke and crack, and had never gotten hooked on anything else. However, I think we need a lengthy period of total sobriety in order to get perspective on shit like this. I'm only 10 days clean and my mind is coming up with every justification under the sun to try and get me to use heroin again - "just one more time".

 

[belfort]

I tried complete abstinence and I made it almost 2 years but it simply wasn't for me..I had a heroin problem but never had an alcohol or Ghb problem..even benzos have never been a problem for but heroin just was too addictive..I just enjoy certain chemicals and in my case I'll never go back to using heroin..I don't desire that feeling nor do I have cravings..

From what I've read about it, 100% abstinence doesn't work for the majority of people..

 

[Rio Fantastic]

I tried complete abstinence and I made it almost 2 years but it simply wasn't for me..I had a heroin problem but never had an alcohol or Ghb problem..even benzos have never been a problem for but heroin just was too addictive..I just enjoy certain chemicals and in my case I'll never go back to using heroin..I don't desire that feeling nor do I have cravings..

From what I've read about it, 100% abstinence doesn't work for the majority of people..

The majority of heroin addicts will never recover, unfortunately.

 

[aihfl]

In my case, and that of many others I know in recovery, abstinence is the only option from some of our DOCs if we don't want to die or have anything resembling quality of life. I have liver disease and the next bender is only going to do more damage to my already compromised health. This is enough incentive to keep me abstinent from my DOCs that did me damage. But at the same time, there are people in twelve step programs that would advocate that I am not abstinent because I still take benzos for severe anxiety and panic attacks (I do not abuse them and have a legitimate script) and honestly, I'd probably be smoking weed if my ex girlfriend hadn't requisitioned my stash for her own use and if my source hadn't moved away to pursue a graduate education.

What this all boils down to is, is whatever you're using depleting your finances, making you irresponsible, isolating you and just generally fucking up your life? Weed and benzos don't fit that criteria for me. Opiates and alcohol most definitely did. Only you can answer that question.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

On the question of why some people get addicted to certain drugs and not others: because different drugs feel differently? And involve different neurotransmitters? Does a fat shot of meth feel the same way as popping a couple Xanax? Does heroin feel exactly the same as ketamine, or a hit of crack? The answer to that particular question seems really obvious to me.

In regard to the question of "complete abstinence": everyone is different. There is no "one answer"...it's a question that everyone who uses alcohol or drugs must figure out on an individual basis. Some people have told me that they really do have no control when it comes to the consumption of alcohol and/or drugs, and I respect that. How couldn't I? They know themselves better than I know them. Other people fall into problems of problematic usage that's more related to situational or environmental factors, though...I don't think it's any coincidence that I fell into the worst period of drug use and depression I've ever known while living in an Arctic region in which it's dark for months on end.

 

[Znegative]

Wasn't Russel Brand a Crack Head? If I was a crack head I think I would find complete abstinence (i.e. no maintenance medications like buprenorphine/methadone) to be the way too.

But I'm not, I'm an IV heroin user and a long term benzodiazepine addict. I just want to have my life back, and I don't give a fuck what other people think regarding what meds I'm on.

That being said, you are younger than me, and probably have not been using as long as I have (10 years). When I was your age, or a little younger, I kicked 100mg of methadone, along with the benzo's and stayed clean for nine months. once the PAWS cleared up and my natural endorphines became available again, it was like I was high every day. It was truly a beautiful thing. It's sad to think now how out of reach that seems. I'm still young, only twenty seven but my drug abuse and lifestyle has been really rough. I tried to cold turkey recently, and got 5 days in, the worst was over, but my whole world felt so dull and I can't live like that right now, I can't stay clean like that. When you're younger and you haven't been using drugs as heavily ( especially if you haven't been using them intravenously) you can kick back a whole lot easier. So if you think its possible, it is worth it in the end, but it's not if you end up relapsing because of someone else's stupid doctrine and then you say, over dose and die (which happened to a good friend of mine).

There are pro's and cons, just remember to be your own man (or woman), don't conform to some ideology just 'cause you got a bunch of people going "its the only way!" The truth is, while Addiction research and Rehabilitation is one of the most lucrative businesses around, it's also one of the most hokey. There's a great vice article on it and video

 

[alpha_centauri]

The majority of heroin addicts will never recover, unfortunately.

True. A lot do relapse years or even decades later. Or they start to use other drugs like cannabis, alcohol, or psychedelics and then believe that they do not have an addiction to opiates and start to use them again and relapse. I've seen this happen many times.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Yes I have tried very hard at abstinence based recovery, it never really worked for me. I am pretty close to abstinent these days but it's not a hard and fast rule. There are certain drugs that I know I definitely have to abstain from but I'm open to the possibility of using others (although it is not something I really search out). I really tried with abstinence based recovery and for whatever reason I was never happy and I could never stop returning to destructive using. I'm currently in a place where for whatever reason I'm quite happy and living a productive and engaged life even though I'm not totally abstinent. For me changes in my attitude, self-respect, self-awareness and understanding of myself have improved my life far more than stopping taking drugs ever did, and it has had the side effect of very much eliminating my desire to live that life I used to live.

Abstinence is definitely the way to go for some people and I would say at least a period of abstinence is probably wise for pretty much everyone. For me the problem with most abstinence based programs is that they're tied up with a lot of hocus pocus nonsense that is unnecessary and in many cases actively unhelpful.

For me there is no one size fits all solution. What's right for one person is not necessarily going to be right for another person and what's important is to support individuals as being exactly that, an individual, and help guide them through the choices they are making, the behaviours they are displaying and the mindset they are engaged in.

 

[manboychef]

you hit the nail on the head THECATINTHEHAT. Every person is different, just as every addict is different.

It boils down to self awareness, and self governing. Yes it is a very good idea to have a period of extended abstinence in order to learn/relearn good behaviors, and unlearn impulsive, self destructive behaviors. After you have gotten away from your bad triggers, and learned positive coping mechanisms it is okay to test the waters. I no longer take opiates or benzos, but every now and then I enjoy a glass of wine. Abstinence does not work for me because I do not believe that I am powerless. I am not powerless in the sense that I have a choice to use or not to use. I know that if I use opiates or benzos, I will have a hard time not impulsively using, not because of a problem in the way my brain is wired, but because of the fact that I really like the way they make me feel. This boils down to self governing for me. I have a set of rules I stick too because I know myself.

Basically, to reiterate what THECATINTHEHAT stated...every addict is different. What works for you do it!

 

[CosmicG]

It all depends on the individual person I guess. If you go to any twelve step meetings or rehab based programs, they will tell you that complete abstinence is the absolute only way. Many people echo this, saying they tried every way around it but this is the only thing that works...for them. I am a newly recovered benzo addict/alcoholic. After spending thirty days in a New Jersey detox/rehab clinic I continued to drink alcohol and eventually found myself in the hospital with pancreatis. It took this to happen before I finally wanted to get better.

Although I know these meetings and their twelve step philisohy along with complete abstinence help millions of people all around the world, I also knew that it wasn't completely for me. Though I have adopted some of what they preach, I could never completely give myself to that lifestyle because certain drugs I use for spiritual purposes. They have never presented any issues for me, and I don't notice craving the drugs I did consider myself having problems with when I used them. Most people that I have met dedicated to recovery don't agree with this.