Toz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2012
- Messages
- 1,973
I was so worried about what I was going to write before I read she passed away. I would have hated to tell you that this was the best possible outcome of this situation while she was alive.
I cry as a I read this thread and I can't remember last time I cried. My grandmother had a stroke at the age of 86, while she was otherwise perfectly healthy. She had always been the most positive and social person in the world. After the stroke she woke up with locked in syndrome (or not locked in syndrome, since she could move her left hand slightly, but othewise it was the same). The first year she stayed strong, we visited often and she wrote about the stuff she used to talk about normally otherwise, it just took longer time than before, but communicating was very much possible.
By the end of the 2nd year, she was in pain alot, and getting more and more depressed (who wouldn't?) We still visited her, but she seemed "off" not really acknowledging that we were there as much anymore. She would still write, but it was getting harder and harder to understand.
By year 3, communcation was hard, I don't even know if she wanted to communicate anymore. She wrote that she wanted to die. Well, she wasn't so lucky.
By year 4 I visited her for the last time, she wrote "death" and that's the last time I saw her. A month or so later, she had passed away. Finally. So many times I was there, so many times I just wanted to end it for her. I would have wanted someone to do it for me. It is insane we can euthanize our pets, but we can't give our own the same mercy.
Watching this suffering, nothing in the world comes close. Death is only positive here, anything is better than laying like this. I am glad Laura didn't have to suffer as long, she is better off now than she was laying in that bed. This I know for sure.
Damn this brought back so many emotions...
I cry as a I read this thread and I can't remember last time I cried. My grandmother had a stroke at the age of 86, while she was otherwise perfectly healthy. She had always been the most positive and social person in the world. After the stroke she woke up with locked in syndrome (or not locked in syndrome, since she could move her left hand slightly, but othewise it was the same). The first year she stayed strong, we visited often and she wrote about the stuff she used to talk about normally otherwise, it just took longer time than before, but communicating was very much possible.
By the end of the 2nd year, she was in pain alot, and getting more and more depressed (who wouldn't?) We still visited her, but she seemed "off" not really acknowledging that we were there as much anymore. She would still write, but it was getting harder and harder to understand.
By year 3, communcation was hard, I don't even know if she wanted to communicate anymore. She wrote that she wanted to die. Well, she wasn't so lucky.
By year 4 I visited her for the last time, she wrote "death" and that's the last time I saw her. A month or so later, she had passed away. Finally. So many times I was there, so many times I just wanted to end it for her. I would have wanted someone to do it for me. It is insane we can euthanize our pets, but we can't give our own the same mercy.
Watching this suffering, nothing in the world comes close. Death is only positive here, anything is better than laying like this. I am glad Laura didn't have to suffer as long, she is better off now than she was laying in that bed. This I know for sure.
Damn this brought back so many emotions...
))) to you today.
. It is such a strong bond you two have. 
