Mental Health Coming Off Vraylar (cariprazine), Rexulti (brexpiprazole), or Abilify (aripiprazole)

[iridescentblack]

Yeah I can honestly say that the restlessness was the worst part of it for me.

Fucking hours on end pacing and such wandering/wondering, "what the hell do I do"?

Hahaha, looking back, I always said "hey, once it's over, it's over"

 

[Master Green]

If Master Green bothers you to the point where it is inhibiting you from posting, you can always put them on your "ignore" list. After all, this should be a safe space for you to share.
(Absolutely nothing personal Master Green, I just want everyone to feel comfortable here).

Exactly! It's all good, i understand what you mean by that. He can ignore me and i would be more than pleased by that.

 

[Master Green]

I still have waves at the moment. Yesterday, for example i got hit by a new wave.
But happily, they are low in terms of intensity now. My brain-pain is gone completely.
I have mood swings. Possibly because of the shift in hormones.
The transition, is definitely very irritating, and i have difficulties to sort my thoughts.
Gladly i am able to understand my thoughts and why i feel like this.
I have the feeling, that more and more receptors in my brain get "unplugged" by the drug by every day.
The last couple days, have been stressful.

Surprisingly, what i found out is, that i feel peaceful, when i do nothing and just lying in bed and relax.
It has not been like this before, because people always got called out as lazy , when they are in bed and not sleeping. And i believed that was true.
When i am in bed, i observe what my body wants to tell me. I observe my behavior. My ambition. I ask myself, why do i want to do this?
Mostly it is because i am a person that has been in flight or fight mode for decades. I often rush into something, without thinking about it, from a calm perspective.
And i am not used to be in peace.
When i feel rested, i get up.
When i get bored i do something productive.
For example i do my laundry. Or read a book. Or go for a walk.
I am more productive, when i don't take my phone in my hand or get distracted by it, like all the time.
Very interesting.
I also feel restless at the moment. Because sometimes i am unable to concentrate or can not bring up the same performance as before. And that makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

[SlowVeil]

Hard to gauge. I have hemolytic anemia, so it takes me a lot longer to heal from stuff like this than it does for other people.

Restlessness, for me, went away at about 2 years off.

I have an old friend (we know each other since 9) who has hemolytic anemia and I can say I definitely empathize with you. And I can imagine how terrifying it is to have audio hallucinations.

I think my akathisia doesn't involve pacing that much at this point but more on the "inner" and "shaking" and "weak muscle". Constant inner-shaking that others can't really feel with touch and involuntary muscle twitches that can be seen and touch-felt by others. When my hand is holding something I can feel my wrist and my arm trembling and my hands move around like those fruit flies floating in the air. I honestly think this feels more like parkinsonism now, but two different doctors at two different hospitals(one was in-patient the other was at ER) all diagnosed me with akathisia.

If you don't feel comfortable sharing, you don't have to, but I would really appreciate that if you can describe your akathisia in more detail. Was it just severe restlessness & insomnia & terror? I know you have mentioned you found many similarities between our experiences.

Edit:
I think the "inner shaking" and akathisia has something to do with hormone and menstrual period. I searched online and find people who have intensified akathisia near and/or during their period. I have very irregular periods and PCOS, but my "inner shaking" alleviate few days before my period, which has finally come after a 9-month freeze. I feel confused and scared.

 

[Master Green]

My depression intensifies. I am more intelligent. I am more energetic. More focused... I have about 92-98% recovered at this point.
Yesterday depression hit me like a truck. I was so lost. A little psychotic. I started a dry fast today and feel back on track.

 

[Master Green]

One time i was hospitalized and 8 people were bandaging me and forcing me some injection (for calming down or whatever). It was the feeling of rape. Of course i was nonstop in fight/flight because i was severely angry and stressed, depressed and psychotic.... but still...I have feelings!
Like, so much injustice. I couldn't move.
I believe my father was filming that, i think, because he was also in the examination room. He was so non-reactive. What a son of a bitch. Excuse my language.
I can not remember well, what exactly happened but i felt uncomfortable in that examination room. My father is the biggest asshole that i know as a person.
Narcissistic piece of shit. Boring piece of shit. Toxic asshole. He is the reason, why my mom got sick. And why i got sick.
Only interested in food and nothing else. He can fuck off out of my life.

I am more aggressive than ever, since off Vraylar. Not to the point, where i loose my cool, but it might happen.
It is a healthy aggression.
See, sometimes i have to let it out. So much unprocessed shit in my mind going on.
I have dry fasted for 36 hours now and i am balanced.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I am more aggressive than ever, since off Vraylar. Not to the point, where i loose my cool, but it might happen.
It is a healthy aggression.
See, sometimes i have to let it out. So much unprocessed shit in my mind going on.

How do you let it out, if I may ask?

 

[Master Green]

How do you let it out, if I may ask?

I write about it. Sometimes i use cursewords and move on.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Psychiatric drugs with enormously long half-lives (like days & days) should be made illegal.

If anyone has any sort of reaction to the shit, like many of us have, there's nothing you can do for weeks about it, actually months. Maybe even up to a fucking year of having your brain chemistry completely altered & fucked thanks to taking a med for a week or two. And they hand this shit out like candy to anyonoe who complains of depression/anxiety (when they're supposed to be reserved for schizophrenics & people who see or hear things). It's just insane.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I write about it. Sometimes i use cursewords and move on.

That's really healthy

Psychiatric drugs with enormously long half-lives (like days & days) should be made illegal.

If anyone has any sort of reaction to the shit, like many of us have, there's nothing you can do for weeks about it, actually months. Maybe even up to a fucking year of having your brain chemistry completely altered & fucked thanks to taking a med for a week or two. And they hand this shit out like candy to anyonoe who complains of depression/anxiety (when they're supposed to be reserved for schizophrenics & people who see or hear things). It's just insane.

I totally agree man. It's abominable.

 

[SlowVeil]

Psychiatric drugs with enormously long half-lives (like days & days) should be made illegal.

If anyone has any sort of reaction to the shit, like many of us have, there's nothing you can do for weeks about it, actually months. Maybe even up to a fucking year of having your brain chemistry completely altered & fucked thanks to taking a med for a week or two. And they hand this shit out like candy to anyonoe who complains of depression/anxiety (when they're supposed to be reserved for schizophrenics & people who see or hear things). It's just insane.

I have found people who are still being affected by long half-life psychiatric drugs like vraylar after 2 years of cessation. However, I have also seen those who suffer for months to years after they stopped on shorter half-life meds such as abilify. (not to mention there are people who suffer akathisia from other procedures like anesthesia, anti-nausea, or antibiotics)
and I completely agree that they are being handed out too casually. I did not even have any psychosis and still get prescribed vraylar.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I have found people who are still being affected by long half-life psychiatric drugs like vraylar after 2 years of cessation. However, I have also seen those who suffer for months to years after they stopped on shorter half-life meds such as abilify. (not to mention there are people who suffer akathisia from other procedures like anesthesia, anti-nausea, or antibiotics)
and I completely agree that they are being handed out too casually. I did not even have any psychosis and still get prescribed vraylar.

I was prescribed Vraylar back in October. I took it only for a few days before I started to feel really surreal and lost my balance to the point where I couldn't even drive.

I immediately told my doctor that I'm not taking that shit. It was a low dose & after stopping, it took well over a week before I actually "came down" from the stuff.
Then I had daily eyelid spasms from October til about March. Every single day, all day. And now they have admitted that eye lid spasms are a side effect of this shitty med. I thought it would never go away. And I don't have schizophrenia or anything like that either. As a matter of fact my main complaint at the time was severe depression to the point of bodily pain & absolutely no energy. How vraylar was suppose to help with that, I have no idea. I think it only helped my doctor get a nice vacation.

 

[SlowVeil]

I took it only for a few days

Then I had daily eyelid spasms from October til about March. Every single day, all day. And now they have admitted that eye lid spasms are a side effect of this shitty med.

I see, so it definitely affects how our brain controls our muscles. The other vraylar victims I chatted with also suffered muscle spasms/twitches even after completely stopping the med (mine is full-body random muscle tics, muscle weakness, and limb tremor). I am glad you did not suffer akathisia or got polydrugged and the eyelid spasms finally went away. It's insane that only a few days(I assume you took it for less than a week) of vraylar can affect your body for 6 months. It's only 2 months after stopping it (I took it for 17 days) and I already feel very stressed and hopeless by all the symptoms I have.

Vraylar is expensive even if insurance companies pay for them. pretty nasty business imo.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I see, so it definitely affects how our brain controls our muscles. The other vraylar victims I chatted with also suffered muscle spasms/twitches even after completely stopping the med (mine is full-body random muscle tics, muscle weakness, and limb tremor). I am glad you did not suffer akathisia or got polydrugged and the eyelid spasms finally went away. It's insane that only a few days(I assume you took it for less than a week) of vraylar can affect your body for 6 months. It's only 2 months after stopping it (I took it for 17 days) and I already feel very stressed and hopeless by all the symptoms I have.

Vraylar is expensive even if insurance companies pay for them. pretty nasty business imo.

Oh yeah, it definitely affects motor control, possibly permanently.

I am betting vraylar is going to have a high incidence of tardive dyskensia just like other antipsyhotics.

I actually was poly-drugged (was on 13 different medications), which was another reason I said nope, I'm not sticking with the vraylar.
The shit scared me to be honest. I can hardly describe how it made me feel because it's so subjective, but the best way to describe it's effects was like some one had reached in, jumbled up my brain & removed my soul in the process. Probably the most profound anti-psyche drug I've ever had the displeasure of taking.

I'm also a little versed in pharmacology and decided to study vraylar's actions & after seeing how crazy it was & long acting it was, I told my doctor no.
There's just no way I could handle it.

Im really sorry to hear that happened to you. I dread to think of what I would have ended up with had I kept taking it like I was told to.
Ironically it must have been a very new drug at the time cause I found very little information about it and it's side effects.
Then I just happened to look it up a couple weeks ago & the main website for it has shit tons of side effects on it & was only recently updated.
Many of the side effects I suffered from too. I thought to myself "they didn't know all of this when they put it on the market? wtf"...

I really lost a lot of trust in healthcare after that, as I felt like a guinea pig. I could have died or had severe permanent side effects & absolutely no one would have been held accountable for it. I'm sure that would have really helped my depression *eye roll*. I've vowed never to take anything like it again.

 

[Master Green]

So, basically i am getting used to be out of the fight or flight mode. It is kinda tough to be honest. I struggle with depression from time to time. I am more confident. I think my hormones are shifting pretty well, although i still have that weird belly feeling, as if something is not alright with me.
Today i lifted some weights and felt exhausted. I feel energized and exhausted together, like it's unreal.
Today i hit the 105 day mark and i don't feel recovered yet, to be honest. But i am also detoxing a lot of shit out of my body cause i run low in body fat at the moment. And probably some of the invega BS, that might be still in my fat cells ( i am going to write a text particulary about it in another thread) has something to do about it. And that Invega toxin is about to get re-released, possibly. Sounds a bit mind blowing, i know, but at this point i don't rule out anything, anymore.
I mean doctors know shit about health. Unless they are surgeons, then they are useful, like to repair an broken arm or something. You get my point.
Back to Invega... So i think this shit might play a role, that i am feeling very very sluggish at the moment. It is kinda different feeling than vlaylar. I have anhedonia recently and i can't explain where i comes from. I only can imagine it is from The leftovers from invega. Many people have complained about, that they never felt the same after Invega, and that might explain why. That bs might be stored in the fat cells for years!

 

[SlowVeil]

really lost a lot of trust in healthcare after that, as I felt like a guinea pig.

I can 100% relate. However in mental health, neurology, or hormone-related issues, it is in fact hard to find the source/cause of the symptoms because many parts of human body still remain a mystery, and doctors have to do guess works and unfortunately as a result of that logistic, we become the guinea pigs. I have friends studying/working in health-care and they get extremely frustrated (may also develop learned helplessness) when they can't find what exactly is wrong with patients as well.
My trust was lost in healthcare because of how careless and loosely regulated the whole system is and how it puts an unnecessary amount of burdens on patients:

Late updated information like you mentioned; Doctors casually administer medications that have detrimental side effects and they don't even inform patients about them; Then once you got hit by a severe side effect your doctor may not equip with specialties to treat it and refer you to some other specialist that may have insanely long waiting time (now with covid the wait time is even longer like 5 MONTHS wait ) just to get an appointment (if you are in US with HMO or similar insurance you can't even just go directly to a specialist and make an appointment yourself because your insurance require referral); If you can't wait and go to ER it's likely that the doctor on call will be forced to make a quick decision to get you discharged because you are not in "life-threatening" situation; if you get to be seen by a specialist and you get treated, congrats, your journey ends here, but most time with things like akathisia you will be referred back and forth or rejected; the new referral may require you to do more tasks like file a ROI(release of information) to the previous doctor to send over their notes and the processing time might be 7 or more business days; If you are lucky to find a provider that accepts you then nice, but most providers would say "we need your previous doctor's note so we can proceed and that's the only way we can proceed." ...

I legit feel like a ball that's being kicked around by this system as no one would actually have the balls to break down all the insane bureaucracy and burdens being put on the patients, and it usually takes some tragedies for people to realize how messed up the system is. ( take this situation as an example)

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I can 100% relate. However in mental health, neurology, or hormone-related issues, it is in fact hard to find the source/cause of the symptoms because many parts of human body still remain a mystery, and doctors have to do guess works and unfortunately as a result of that logistic, we become the guinea pigs. I have friends studying/working in health-care and they get extremely frustrated (may also develop learned helplessness) when they can't find what exactly is wrong with patients as well.
My trust was lost in healthcare because of how careless and loosely regulated the whole system is and how it puts an unnecessary amount of burdens on patients:

Late updated information like you mentioned; Doctors casually administer medications that have detrimental side effects and they don't even inform patients about them; Then once you got hit by a severe side effect your doctor may not equip with specialties to treat it and refer you to some other specialist that may have insanely long waiting time (now with covid the wait time is even longer like 5 MONTHS wait ) just to get an appointment (if you are in US with HMO or similar insurance you can't even just go directly to a specialist and make an appointment yourself because your insurance require referral); If you can't wait and go to ER it's likely that the doctor on call will be forced to make a quick decision to get you discharged because you are not in "life-threatening" situation; if you get to be seen by a specialist and you get treated, congrats, your journey ends here, but most time with things like akathisia you will be referred back and forth or rejected; the new referral may require you to do more tasks like file a ROI(release of information) to the previous doctor to send over their notes and the processing time might be 7 or more business days; If you are lucky to find a provider that accepts you then nice, but most providers would say "we need your previous doctor's note so we can proceed and that's the only way we can proceed." ...

I legit feel like a ball that's being kicked around by this system as no one would actually have the balls to break down all the insane bureaucracy and burdens being put on the patients, and it usually takes some tragedies for people to realize how messed up the system is. ( take this situation as an example)

The sad thing is, is opiate/opioid based drugs use to be used to stop psychosis, suicidal tendencies/attacks, depression, anxiety, you name it. All with great efficiency.

But of course, this class of drugs for psychiatric care was eventually swapped out and replaced with all the new stuff we have today.
They'd rather you get tardive dyskinesia (and still feel depressed or psychotic cause it didn't work) than feel "too happy" from your meds. I find it infuriating.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Just to clarify, opioids can work really well on anxiety, depression, and perhaps psychosis until one has to raise their dose. Unless one doesn't raise their dose ad infinitum, then those effects go away, leaving the user addicted and not much more.

 

[Master Green]

I am recovered. I am at day 109 and everything feels normal again, for a few days in a row.
I am not psychotic anymore. I have stressfull moments here and there, but i have outgrown my old bad habits.
I gained back my old intelligence levels, even more before Invega. My memory is crystal clear. My energy is back.
I am glad that i could share my experience here with you guys. If you have any questions go ahead and ask me.
For now i am out of this place and try to live a healthy lifestyle with plenty of fun. Without any unnatural toxic drugs. But that's just my opinion.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I am recovered. I am at day 109 and everything feels normal again, for a few days in a row.
I am not psychotic anymore. I have stressfull moments here and there, but i have outgrown my old bad habits.
I gained back my old intelligence levels, even more before Invega. My memory is crystal clear. My energy is back.
I am glad that i could share my experience here with you guys. If you have any questions go ahead and ask me.
For now i am out of this place and try to live a healthy lifestyle with plenty of fun. Without any unnatural toxic drugs. But that's just my opinion.

That is so wonderful to hear mate!! I'm really pleased for you!! I really hope it stays this way I wish you all the absolute best, live life to the fullest and smile every day. If you ever need us, we'll always be here.