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Recovery coming off of morphine

Subrep

Subrep

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 14, 2022
Messages
37
Not used for 12 days. Not feeling very enthusiastic about anything. No support as I have hidden my addiction from all and sundry for 2.4 years.
Here where I live there are no confidential support services as everything is locked into the Health system because of funding.. My supply ran dry and I could not be arsed searching for more. Had enough of life revolving around my addiction. The last 12 days have to all intents and purposes have been one uncomfortable blurr; actually cant recall much of it. Fortunately I has some grass to help me along the way. I never use before an alloted time in the day so I could get essential stuff done before getting wiped out. Now Im just sitting here however not sure what Im waiting for.
 
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Subrep said:
Not used for 12 days. Not feeling very enthusiastic about anything. No support as I have hidden my addiction from all and sundry for 2.4 years.
Here where I live there are no confidential support services as everything is locked into the Health system because of funding.. My supply ran dry and I could not be arsed searching for more. Had enough of life revolving around my addiction. The last 12 days have to all intents and purposes have been one uncomfortable blurr; actually cant recall much of it. Fortunately I has some grass to help me along the way. I never use before an alloted time in the day so I could get essential stuff done before getting wiped out. Now Im just sitting here however not sure what Im waiting for.
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You've made it to 12 days, that is awesome! So you're through the actual physical withdrawals. Keep it up!

Perhaps it's time to talk to someone you trust about what you've been going through though. You don't need to tell them the nitty gritty details, but a burden shared is a burden halved, and it really does help to talk about stuff and to have at least one person for support. Perhaps a friend or a close relative?
 
Is there anyone who you can confide in? It usually helps to have a "real-world" person to talk to about such things. You shouldn't have to go at this alone. There should be an accessible mental health treatment program in your general area.

That said, congratulations on making it so far!

This is really the time and energy that you're spending to invest in yourself. That may be a good thought to come back to when things are especially hard.

If you can, try to get moving. Stay engaged in something. It helps take the edge off of the suffering.

I am not in your situation, but we at Bluelight really do beleive in you!
 
Senior Moderator said:
You've made it to 12 days, that is awesome! So you're through the actual physical withdrawals. Keep it up!

Perhaps it's time to talk to someone you trust about what you've been going through though. You don't need to tell them the nitty gritty details, but a burden shared is a burden halved, and it really does help to talk about stuff and to have at least one person for support. Perhaps a friend or a close relative?
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Hi and thanks for your comments. I really appreciate your input. I have actually yesterday partially discussed my situation with a good friend however I omitted the true extent of my addiction. It was good to at least offload some of my anxieties. The physical and psychological impact of the cold turkey approach is starting to become apparent. Mentally I feel extemely delicate, confused and also have an unhealthy dose of very dark thoughts. As I mentioned in my initial post here there are no real offical avenues for a health based approach to drug withdrawals ( and use/reduction ) unless one wants to carry the ' stigma ' of being a drug addict. Up until this year the police in this city used to sit outside the neddle exchange and bust people. Drug reform is still in its infancy and using the ' official ' channels only serve to further stigmatise anybody trying to access help with their addictions. I have managed to control the urge to get sloshed as the result will be regret. My sleep is erratic, I cry at stupid stuff, and as a keen cyclist ( believe it or not ) I cannot even get motivated to venture outside my front door much. Forseeing the physical withdrawal effects I got a prescription for Voltaren 75mg however have had bad side effects from this. Today is another day :)
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
Is there anyone who you can confide in? It usually helps to have a "real-world" person to talk to about such things. You shouldn't have to go at this alone. There should be an accessible mental health treatment program in your general area.

That said, congratulations on making it so far!

This is really the time and energy that you're spending to invest in yourself. That may be a good thought to come back to when things are especially hard.

If you can, try to get moving. Stay engaged in something. It helps take the edge off of the suffering.

I am not in your situation, but we at Bluelight really do beleive in you!
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thankyou for your support. I am trying to stay busy however my lack of focus on any one thing is starting to come to a head. I almost flipped out over trivia. I didnt really have any time to plan a withdrawal strategy as I threw myself head first into it. The worst for me is lack of sleep however have found that a couple of puffs on a joint nightly ( and during the day ) over the last 13 days has afforded me at least 2 or so hours of uninterupted sleep. I have had major mood swings though anger and irratibility has not really been an issue. More depression, anxiety, a sense of hopelessness.
 
dog speed, exercise is good for various reasons and anecdotally proven effective many times. It gets you 'rekt faster.
Mental post-acute unstability and misery is hard because it is impossible to see where it ends and where your baseline starts, again.
 
Thanks All. Its day 15 and sorta strange re-adapting to feeling something. Managed to do a few hours work over the last 2 days. Cannot recall most of the last fortnight however. A 28 month fog. My problem has been my mind and body waking up at the same time. Think just stopping abruptly has placed my body under a lot of stress. I really feel it.
 
How long have you been addicted and what dosages of what substances did you use?

That will kind of determine this next longer phase of the process. Just remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, post acute withdrawals can really drag out.

Gotta say exercise is really so helpful for this stage and it gives a pretty good mechanism to help with reslilience.
 
Addicted for over two years. Used to alter doses sometimes daily and times as I struggled to execute even the most mundane daily chores. I went cold turkey about 14 months ago with really a bad outcome due to environmental circumstances and lack of support so straight back on. My doses went to around 1200 mg at times however had reduced a bit over the last three months due in part to band and travel commitments ( even basic functioning was really impaired ie sight reading ) Exercise has always been a regular part of my life and using didnt change that. I am now even more focused on physical fitness however my energy levels are very low at present and my heart over the last two or so weeks has taken a beating ( excuse the pun ) Had an ecg last thursday- quite telling as my body has been under constant stress since stopping and my anxiety levels have been off the chart.
 
Subrep said:
Addicted for over two years. Used to alter doses sometimes daily and times as I struggled to execute even the most mundane daily chores. I went cold turkey about 14 months ago with really a bad outcome due to environmental circumstances and lack of support so straight back on. My doses went to around 1200 mg at times however had reduced a bit over the last three months due in part to band and travel commitments ( even basic functioning was really impaired ie sight reading ) Exercise has always been a regular part of my life and using didnt change that. I am now even more focused on physical fitness however my energy levels are very low at present and my heart over the last two or so weeks has taken a beating ( excuse the pun ) Had an ecg last thursday- quite telling as my body has been under constant stress since stopping and my anxiety levels have been off the chart.
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What were the results of the ECG? Is your heart doing okay?

You can still do low impact forms of exercise for it to be very beneficial, e.g. walking, swimming, lazily cycling (if you have access to a bicycle), anything to get the blood flowing but nothing too strenuous while you're in the acute phases of recovery.

It's excellent that you reached out to your friend and spoke to them about what you're going through. It took a lot of guts to do that and you should be really proud of yourself. Do you feel like they are a good source of support for you, for you to talk to more about things when you need to talk to someone?
 
Hi and thanks for your imput. Thats great advice and I have maintained at least some sort of exercise. I have been getting out on my bike just for a few k's of easy terrain
( not an easy task living in Wellington - hills in every direction). All my stand in GP said was that my ecg was not looking as good as it should then tried to gas light me into going a rat test. Will request more info as I left feeling a little bewildered and worried. This is day 17 and I was a little toooo hopeful that all would be well by now. I have very little energy at all and its tempting to lounge around. I have come to realization that this will tae some time Yes it was good to talk to my friend. He is very non judgemental and supportive. Thanks again for your advice. much appreciated.
 
actually 21 days now. Cannot really be arsed doing anything and hope nobody comes around. At least Wellington will be dead for xmas. Perfect time to get out without the drama of otheres.
 
26 days not using. Still dont feel like seeing anyone or doing anything however have managed a few hours work this week so far. Tearful and really quite low. Still lacking any real motivation. Haven't managed much sleep and that seems to compounding things a bit. Fluctuating moods but to my surprise anger had not been one of them apart from a couple of very minimal outbursts at stupid drivers ( under my breath). Trying to avoid more stress by planning my day ahead and removing myself from situations that could lead to a meltdown. Great strategy so far and to all intents and purposes has been quite successful. Thanks for the support I have had from this site to date.
 
Lost track a bit. 28 days today. It's been helpful that all the xmas pleasanties and obligitory conversations have finished ( not that htere were many ). Too much pressure to act as though I have my shit together as I haven't - at all. Managed three hours work today though that was the limit. Cant focus much. Sleep is crap. Feels like my entire metabolism has changed - well changing.
 
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