invegascrewed
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2015
- Messages
- 46
I'm not sure there's any direct evidence that shows psychosis or mania damages the brain in any way or form. It could be damaging to the livelihood of the individual that is to be living in a reality contrary to others, but biologically there simply isn't conclusive evidence yet that establishes the process itself is damaging to the brain. In fact I will say, these states of minds are revelatory; that is a lot could be gained from it creatively, personally, and spiritually if the individual is more in control of his or her own life process. People do come out of these episodes naturally. Now looking back, I had many times probably; althought I can not be certain that my experiences can really parallel those definitions. I don’t think my mental states ever got to a point where I was not functional, lucid, and performing. Before Invega I was at my creative productive peak socially despite the existence of delusionary perception at times. This drug destroyed me. I’m sure most creative people derive the peaks of their performance from these altered psychological states that psychiatry is way too quick to condemn. Human beings are ‘spiritual’ creatures, their survival and continuity depends on the extremities of these experiences. We're the only species whom bury the dead and conceives of afterlives. It's just that these experiences are often hard to be boxed in the modern ‘scientific’ industrial experience. One thing is known for certain is antipsychotics are damaging to the brain because these are synthetic chemicals that should not be in your body thus explaining the adverse reactions , and they can seriously damage a person's mind biologically/physically (the permanent long term alterations such as tardive dyskinesia etc.). As experiencers of this awful fact, we can all concur that what ever benefit these drugs claim to derive, in the long run they do more damage than good. I became docile, removed, and more or less a zombie; but I was simply not cured, I was damaged. Maybe other people can report the contrary, but my experience has been one of utter devastation.
Instances of recovery for non medicated 'madness' is 44% at current even in developed countries. This is much higher than the instances of recovery for the medicated. It is much higher in developed countries where these medications are simply not available. It takes loving hearts, communities, families, and great amount of social and psychological support to really ‘cure’ individuals. The creative mind biologically functions the same as one prone to madness, this is well documented. It is terrifying and sad that so many of our creative and artistic people because of the lack of social support networks and more humane methods of recovery fall prey to a process that might do more damage than good in the long run.
Depersonalization/Derealization and my experience with it is that you see/feel not simply gain the frightening realization that reality is pretty much all illusory, the self is illusory, and not in any Buddhistic comforting sense that is, but in a nightmarish non functional kind of fashion which makes you ache anxiety even at the thought of it. Every day you get updates of your operating system-windows style where things become more real and you become more real and grounded- praying as i write this. It's not simply a visual experience of seeing things in a distorted manner but you also feel it in that manner. The disconnectedness might be related, but at this point I'm not sure it's just the reset button for the brain from the traumatic drug experience or the drug that's still active and doing this or simply this is how brain is trying to normalise. The feeling I had was my brain chemistry due to whatever reason that might had induced it is seriously out of equilibrium. I'm sure there's a lot of parallels with psychosis, but where here your eyes are wide open and certain that this is not the comfortable 'reality' you're seeing. I can say I had gotten a lot better, although colors and such are still off, but I can comment that weeks ago I wouldn't imagine myself being able to formulate thoughts or more or less write what I wrote today. My mind was so blank that I had one sentence ruminations for the entire day and I would just be walking back and forth in high states of extreme anxiety trying to come to terms with the emptiness of mind and the distortions of reality with the terrifying fear that I truly had lost it.
Here's a list of symptoms (from the links):
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...s/con-20033401
Depersonalization symptoms
Symptoms of depersonalization include:
• Feelings that you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, your body or parts of your body, perhaps as if you were floating in air above yourself
• Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements
• The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton
• Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you
• A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories
Derealization symptoms
Symptoms of derealization include:
• Feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings, perhaps like you're living in a movie
• Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about, as if you were separated by a glass wall
• Surroundings that appear distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial, or a heightened awareness and clarity of your surroundings
• Distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past
• Distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/32446-dpdr-daily-symptoms/
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/inde...now-your-turn/
• Visual distortions, ghosting/trailing, floaters, 'blurred vision'
• pane of glass phenomenon in vision (like I was separated from everything)
• sensation of loss of self, could not find it, normal self-sense was not there, existential paranoia
• Extreeeeeeeeme anxiety, paranoia, fear of going insane or losing mind
• Frame by frame sensation, as if the world were existing in cut-frames and not fluid
• Forgetting names, normal things, difficulty conceptualizing/abstract or critical thinking
• This was so frightening, I thought I would never be smart or normal again
• Tendency to stare at things, knowing I should know what it was, but unable to 'feel' it normally, or think of what it was called
• This happened with people, places, and things (even people I loved, this was very hard)
• Extreme sense of sensory detachment from world, self, feelings
• ZERO short term memory (literally forgetting things seconds after they occurred)
• No sense of time continuity
• Constantly becoming aware of symptoms and reacting to them with anxiety/paranoia
• Constantly fearing I would never be the same again
• Hating God/Life for making me suffer so extremely
• Difficulty with coordination and speech
• Weight loss - I weigh 160 lbs normally, I was down to 120 during the worst...
• No positive emotions, only anxiety, fear and paranoia
• Fluorescent Lights felt terrible!
• Couldn’t drive a car (for some time) because my perception was $%^&*’ed
• Probably a thousand more….
Instances of recovery for non medicated 'madness' is 44% at current even in developed countries. This is much higher than the instances of recovery for the medicated. It is much higher in developed countries where these medications are simply not available. It takes loving hearts, communities, families, and great amount of social and psychological support to really ‘cure’ individuals. The creative mind biologically functions the same as one prone to madness, this is well documented. It is terrifying and sad that so many of our creative and artistic people because of the lack of social support networks and more humane methods of recovery fall prey to a process that might do more damage than good in the long run.
Depersonalization/Derealization and my experience with it is that you see/feel not simply gain the frightening realization that reality is pretty much all illusory, the self is illusory, and not in any Buddhistic comforting sense that is, but in a nightmarish non functional kind of fashion which makes you ache anxiety even at the thought of it. Every day you get updates of your operating system-windows style where things become more real and you become more real and grounded- praying as i write this. It's not simply a visual experience of seeing things in a distorted manner but you also feel it in that manner. The disconnectedness might be related, but at this point I'm not sure it's just the reset button for the brain from the traumatic drug experience or the drug that's still active and doing this or simply this is how brain is trying to normalise. The feeling I had was my brain chemistry due to whatever reason that might had induced it is seriously out of equilibrium. I'm sure there's a lot of parallels with psychosis, but where here your eyes are wide open and certain that this is not the comfortable 'reality' you're seeing. I can say I had gotten a lot better, although colors and such are still off, but I can comment that weeks ago I wouldn't imagine myself being able to formulate thoughts or more or less write what I wrote today. My mind was so blank that I had one sentence ruminations for the entire day and I would just be walking back and forth in high states of extreme anxiety trying to come to terms with the emptiness of mind and the distortions of reality with the terrifying fear that I truly had lost it.
Here's a list of symptoms (from the links):
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...s/con-20033401
Depersonalization symptoms
Symptoms of depersonalization include:
• Feelings that you're an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, your body or parts of your body, perhaps as if you were floating in air above yourself
• Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements
• The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton
• Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you
• A sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may or may not be your own memories
Derealization symptoms
Symptoms of derealization include:
• Feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings, perhaps like you're living in a movie
• Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about, as if you were separated by a glass wall
• Surroundings that appear distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial, or a heightened awareness and clarity of your surroundings
• Distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past
• Distortions of distance and the size and shape of objects
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/32446-dpdr-daily-symptoms/
http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/inde...now-your-turn/
• Visual distortions, ghosting/trailing, floaters, 'blurred vision'
• pane of glass phenomenon in vision (like I was separated from everything)
• sensation of loss of self, could not find it, normal self-sense was not there, existential paranoia
• Extreeeeeeeeme anxiety, paranoia, fear of going insane or losing mind
• Frame by frame sensation, as if the world were existing in cut-frames and not fluid
• Forgetting names, normal things, difficulty conceptualizing/abstract or critical thinking
• This was so frightening, I thought I would never be smart or normal again
• Tendency to stare at things, knowing I should know what it was, but unable to 'feel' it normally, or think of what it was called
• This happened with people, places, and things (even people I loved, this was very hard)
• Extreme sense of sensory detachment from world, self, feelings
• ZERO short term memory (literally forgetting things seconds after they occurred)
• No sense of time continuity
• Constantly becoming aware of symptoms and reacting to them with anxiety/paranoia
• Constantly fearing I would never be the same again
• Hating God/Life for making me suffer so extremely
• Difficulty with coordination and speech
• Weight loss - I weigh 160 lbs normally, I was down to 120 during the worst...
• No positive emotions, only anxiety, fear and paranoia
• Fluorescent Lights felt terrible!
• Couldn’t drive a car (for some time) because my perception was $%^&*’ed
• Probably a thousand more….
Last edited:
. I ended up calling up my then g/f at like 1 in the morning bawling my eyes out about everything though i wasn't even depressed i was just overwhelmed and for the first time in years didn't feel emotionally dead.