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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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Another interesting breakthrough, I have been dreaming again for the first time since zombie phase. Why after the first injection you get the most intense dreams and then it suddenly stops? Is it dopamine related? Those first couple of nights after the injection I was having the most intense dreams related to mental institutions and being trapped, abused and experimented on. Everytime I fell asleep I would slip into a dream immediately and wake up a couple hours later in cold sweats and frightened to the core because I was still in the mental ward at this stage. Then one day the dreaming stopped and hasn't returned until recently. Thankfully they're not dreams like those ones but I'm curious to know why this happened?Does anyone remember having intense dreams after their first injection?
 
@robe11 I also had dreams like these in the beginning and I still have intense dreams sometimes, but not as intense as they used to be. These dreams are chemically induced and it's because this drug plays with your psyche as a psychoactive substance, just like any illegal drug does. I can't tell exactly why this happens but probably because of messed up chemicals in the brain and the brain shooting out subconcious stuff. I just read somewhere that it might be because of the dopamine as it is responsible for dreaming.
 
@robe11 : Yeah the most intense dreams I ever had happened after my two starter injections. Then nothing for a while and I have had some dreams recently though.

To the room
My gynecomastia has gotten a little worse but I am not too worried. I am still in my early 20s so chances are my man boobs will disappear by themselves once my testosterone levels go back to normal.

Day 148

Still very low motivation and fatigued. I should point out that my memory is almost back to normal. Hoping for the best. Peace.
 
I have no emotions and no dreams after 2 years. In the first days after the 1st injection I felt very good, my little son also, they gave me this poison and he got it also through my breast-milk. He woke up in the night and says: mama -- he had so much love for me and I for him.
Now everything is away, what was so good. We would have the best life, if they would have not blackmailed me to let me do this.
Tomorrow I will see my child again, but maybe he cannot remember our love we had. He has no love, his aunt is a very cold person.

I have no hope, because after so long time feeling nothing, then I must think, my receptors are dead, the dosis was really too high for me.
 
@Rosi71 don't worry, everything is going to be fine, your receptors are not dead. Some of us need longer to heal. Just continue to having a life as normal as possible. And stay away from any kind of drug. Is it possible that you take antidepressants?? Can you think clearly? I'm so happy for you that you are able to see your son tomorrow! I wish you all the best for it and I hope that it's going to be a good moment for both of you!
 
No I take nothing, I eat and drink very healthy and take many healthy things like Curkuma. Yes, I can think clearly, but without emotions I think always the same things about the poison and my son.
 
Eating healthy is good. Very important! Is it possible that you have suppressed emotions and that's the reason why you're not feeling? Have you already tried CBD combined with meditation and try to look inside you, maybe you will find some suppressed emotions. I always used to work on my emotions in combination with cannabis and always had great results.
 
Not even in my dream there is a vivid life in my brain, expecially not in the right side. No emotions of the past. But last night I slept better, I dreamt, but never of my old self, that was so full of love. I will soon make a investigation, but it is very difficult here that they do something. They gave me this without thinking about what they do or without speaking with me, but now it is so difficult to get anything of them.
 
I can't believe Invegauser just up and left he was like the president of invega lol

It's been over two months for me. I've gained more weight, but I feel motivated again, applied to a job hoping for the best but nothing really new. I feel a little more like myself everyday, I have been walking every day at the gym now, it's all I can do.
 
One thing I have noticed is I do get upset easily and it's hard to cheer up again. This could be a problem particularly at work because it means I hold grudges against people rather than reconciling. It's amazing how dopamine affects so many parts of our personality and character. I must be aware of this and focus on mending relationships no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
 
Guys I apologize in advance if this is graphic or disgusting. My urine is no longer oily and smelly after almost two months, is this a good thing or bad thing? Good because there is less inVega in my body and bad because it?s not going out. What does this mean? Also today for the first time I stopped having anxiety. I hope this lasts.

Rosi I want to ask you, did inVega affect your memory and if it did how is it now? I?m so glad to hear you?re going to see your son! Congratulations Rosi Im so happy for you. Enjoy your time, I bet you will feel again soon after seeing him.
 
Also there is one thing I want to say that?s been on my mind for a long time now. I don?t want to sound like a downer but I think if someone had the first or first two injections and hasn?t healed in years I think it?s time to accept that they?ll never return to the same as they were before. There are fast healers, long time healers like invegauser, and super negative exceptions like well I won?t say their names. Invegauser was different, he had three years of that poison. It only made sense if he took years to heal but the others, not so much. Everything we put into our bodies has a chance of altering it forever.

Saying that, I don?t even know if I?m too so afraid if I?m a super negative exception but I?m a Christian and I?m almost two months out and I feel hardly any difference I have to say that I am working on acceptance of my new self. I used to want to be a celebrated author but I have to be honest with myself that it?s simply not gonna happen now. I give myself a healing time of two years max if I don?t improve then at least look on the bright side I no longer have schizophrenia and don?t need to take medicine that will give me tardive dyskinesia and diabetes and make me fat. On the down side I have little emotions, motivation improving, bad memory.

So yeah, maybe if I became a celebrated author I?d have done stuff that would have made me lose my soul but at least now I get to be and do what I like in heaven. I still can function and let?s face it the majority of people just do jobs and don?t go back home to manuscripts filling their cupboards. I?ll be just like normal people then. Like I said at least I can focus on being a good person now instead of a power hungry machine like I once was.

What do you think room? Especially zack I want to get your input on this cause you?re also a Christian. The way I see it god put us here to fulfill his purpose for us and not for us to fulfill our own selfish dreams. Maybe this is the path he wants me to take. I?ll take it and accept it then.
 
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@shadypenguin : the ways God influence us can be mysterious sometimes. I have been wanting to change career path for quite some time now. I had a severe depression and I wanted to start working anyway even with my symptoms remaining. The way I see it is that God wants me to wait to feel better and to be well prepared. Invega was THE way to stop me from leaving my parents' house too soon.

I don't really believe at least I hope I won't be stuck in my current physical and mental state forever. I already improved quite a lot and I think I'll keep on feeling better and better.

Now, if you do feel like that for the rest of your life, there might be a reason to it. It means God has a something good for you.

I was very ambitious before the shots and I want the same drive and passion back. I probably will not accept a reduced body and mind any time soon.
 
Hi guys, almost 70 days off the poison for me.
I feel like this has been a test for all of us, to make us stronger than we once were. I too accepted that there won't be much of a future for me right now, it takes this long to heal. I used to be motivated and want to succeed and write a story too, but now I got to accept that things have changed. I used to write video game reviews, cannot do that anymore either. I just come to terms with it that I'm sick for now and for awhile I will be sick. I got to figure out what to say during my interviews because I want to get a job soon.

Invega has been a problem in my life but I believe it'll leave the system like everything else and we will all be cured again. It just takes time, but I'm willing to believe in full healing, just with a different outlook when it's said and done. Hope everyone feels better. We got to stick together, more and more people are leaving so they're getting cured, we got to believe in the cure. Time.
 
@shadypenguin God gave us this life as a gift to live it full of happiness with everything that surrounds us in this world. There are some very hard times along the way. But god has made us strong and your soul can never be taken away from you! Please don't give up on your dreams! You are only two months off, don't expect the changes to be that fast. I'm almost 5 months off and I don't see huge improvements either. But the body has an enormous capacity to heal if you treat it right. There is nothing in this life that will stay forever. Acceptation may sound like something wise. But it can also be an expression of giving up. Keep on fighting. If you have a goal, and a will, there will always be a way. God would never put us in such a place to make us suffer our whole lifes. It depends on your choices. If you chose to be this way for the rest of your life, well then it's a different story. But if you chose to fight and get your body, mind and soul back, you will get everything you need to achieve that! But it may take some changes to be made along the way. Such as lifestyle changes, changes in eating habits etc. If you fight, you will win. If you agree to be in this place, you accept losing the fight. I know it seems like you don't have much control over this, but that is just an illusion. Because deep inside of you there will always be that voice that tells you, that this is not how you are supposed to be. This is not how god made you. This is what a poison made out of you, some man-made crap. Your inner power will always remain within you. Try to resonate with that every moment. It is leading the way. Don't give up! Your true self is within you all the time. And it is fighting for you every day to get comfortable in your body again. Even if you don't realize it. But it's there and when you chose to get it back, you will no matter what it takes. I chose to never give up on myself! Because i deserve much better than that! And so do you! And you were not schizophrenic, you were just having a spiritual experience. Never ever believe that you were sick in the first place. People have know idea how to define such things as schizophrenic, because there is no exact definition of that. Which means that it doesn't exist. Because it varies from person to person. We are individuals with a soul and sometimes there are things we don't understand. But just because we cannot understand it, doesn't mean that it is a sickness! We put everything in boxes and everything that doesn't fit in this box is defined as abnormal. But as long as it's there it is something that belongs to us humans as well. Otherwise it wouldn't be there. There is much more to that than meets the eye or understanding. I would rather die than giving up on my wholeness as a creature. And this is what keeps me going. There are many many days where i just want to give up, but my true self within me won't let me. It keeps telling me that better days are ahead. Don't compare yourself to anyone in here, we all have different stories. It takes time to heal, but we DO heal if we chose the way of god. And believe me, choosing any kind of drugs is NOT choosing god, because anything artificial is not natural and not what belongs in your body. Chose nature. Chose whole foods. Stay in touch with your true self and never give up! That is the way of god.
 
Is there hope? I just listen to the music all day and watch everyone disappear from the forum.
 
@Offvega There is HOPE! Absolutely. As long as there is your will to get yourself back, there will always be hope. And as long as you want to get better, there's WILL. Keep on listening to music and distracting yourself and let time do its job. People will come back eventually. I hope they will give us a "good-news-update" soon. But we are still in the mids of recovery, it might take some months. At least we got us, there are some uf us still posting, we just need time. Anyway everything we have to say will be the same almost every day as it is such a gradual process. Feel free to read some of the old success storys if you feel alone or hopeless. I'm currently reading some success storys on benzobuddies.org. It's about "benzos" but they have a similar way to go as we do and very similar symptoms. For me it's a way of coping and getting through the day right now. And it's enough at the moment to just know and remind myself over and over again of the bodys capacity to heal.
 
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Guys please don’t tell me it takes 2 years to fully heal. I intend to heal ASAP but the ride is a rollercoaster.

@Rosi71 does your child acknowledge you? Good to know you have visitation rights.
 
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