Hello here, this is my first post. I've been watching this and other relative threads about antipsychotics to look for some hope even if i'm quite hopeless actually. Long story short in april 2021 I end up working in this private tattoo studio where they talk about how to control energies, magic, ego, illumination... Everything in there had a second hidden meaning and you could never tell exactly what was happening. This plus thousands other things plus that i was smoking quite a lot weed led me to believe weird things and i started acting delusional and paranoid for few days. My family freaks out on me and call the police, I end up in the hospital against my will (may 19th) where they put me on sleep for like 6 days for who knows what reason and start giving me depakin and abilify pills, then 400 mg abilify injection on june first. In about one day im depressed and social anxious, come out of the hospital two days later diagnosed bipolar.
They tell me i have to be on medication for indefinite amount of time or i will go manic again so i get two more shots of abilify in the next two months (last one August 1st). The next month I refuse having the shot because I'm no longer living since I had the first one. In all psychiatrists' opinions I should have relapsed in no time but guess what I never did and 9.5 months later I still am anedhonic, feel dumb, no creativity and major problem is I can't stay with people cause i can't think of anything to say so i just became asocial. Actually being suicidal cause i see no improvements in my cognitive abilities and I can't live this way, I have lost everything I had without it. Anyone else had a similar situation with abilify maintena and recovered?
Thanks.