Tylerdurden
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Messages
- 4,217
It’s important that I write. I think & analyze so much, why should it all go to waste? I’ll try to stay away from those long, depressing, introspective rants that do anything but uplift the reader. I’ve come to an interesting conclusion, think as little as possible. Why make life so much more complicated than it already is? Why baffle yourself with questions you can’t answer, or to which there are no answers? Run the rat race, be content with the little you have, because there is no limit to what you COULD have. If you start running after that little bit more, you’ll run till you die, and you’ll never have a chance to sit back and enjoy what you already have.
This sounds pessimistic, but if ultimately happiness is what you’re after, then ignorance is bliss. Those ordinary people living ordinary lives which you despised because you thought they were mediocre, who can you honestly say is happier now? You with your confusion, cynicism and eternal restlessness, or them with their contentment with the simple pleasures in life. Nothing seems to satisfy anymore, no amount of travels, parties and new friends will quench that longing for something you’re not quite sure of. No, it’s not love, but love is a typical example of your restlessness. You dream of that perfect love that will make everything else right, but then find yourself incapable of loving, of letting go of your cynicism and analytical mind. You question everything you encounter in life, why not question your heart? It’s real motives, the other person’s real motives, conditions, situations and chemicals that have induced this supposed love, only to find you have analyzed away any sort of emotions you may have had, and find yourself even more confused by you own analyzing. So you analyze more, and where does it end?
I cannot find any other great meaning in life, other than obtaining lasting satisfaction & happiness. I have yet to encounter a satisfied, happy subversive, it sounds like an oxymoron, but I am surrounded by content, ordinary people. And yes, they are happy, it doesn’t just appear that way to me, they do not question fundamental rules of their society, they have no reason to. Yes, of course we all bitch about taxes, US foreign politics and inefficient garbage disposal services. We all would like a bigger house, newer car, better wages. But do you ever question if democracy is really democracy, if it really is the right way? Do you think your salary is worth you spending two thirds of your day and the best years of your life working for someone else’s dreams? Do you question not only new laws being passed, but question all the ancient, unquestionable ones? Does TV not only bore you occasionally, but actually fill you with rage as you see it for the blatant propaganda it is? Do you secretly cheer when the ‘bad guys’ evade the law and get away with it? Do you long for it all to go to hell, so we can start anew? I know I do, I used to think I had insight, that I was just a bit smarter than the crowd, but where has all this ‘insight’ brought me? Happiness? Peace? Not really.
What good has this insight been other than having a long political rant with a friend, after which both of you will go back to your jobs, taxes, and family, just like all the rest of the ‘dumb’ sheep. It’s like feeling ashamed at your doubt of Big Brother, or wanting to get reconnected to the matrix. It sounds bad, but what can you and your rebelliousness do? If you think you alone, one subversive human being, can overthrow the system you might need some psychiatric help. Maybe we do, maybe we’re the only ones that just didn’t get it. So I’m going to try hard not to think to much, I’m going to try and take everything at face value. I’m going to try not to recognize the falsity of sport, institutions, political parties, the workplace and relationships. I’ll try to be a die-hard fan of something absurd. I’ll try to believe in something. I’ll try to have faith in the good-will of big brother. Initially this will be hard, almost impossible, but the mind is amazing and so is the power of denial. I will start to see that while I thought I had ideals and higher motives, I really was just a rebellious, unthankful, destructive kid. I’ll have peace someday, the whole secret is don’t think too much. And now to get back to work.
This sounds pessimistic, but if ultimately happiness is what you’re after, then ignorance is bliss. Those ordinary people living ordinary lives which you despised because you thought they were mediocre, who can you honestly say is happier now? You with your confusion, cynicism and eternal restlessness, or them with their contentment with the simple pleasures in life. Nothing seems to satisfy anymore, no amount of travels, parties and new friends will quench that longing for something you’re not quite sure of. No, it’s not love, but love is a typical example of your restlessness. You dream of that perfect love that will make everything else right, but then find yourself incapable of loving, of letting go of your cynicism and analytical mind. You question everything you encounter in life, why not question your heart? It’s real motives, the other person’s real motives, conditions, situations and chemicals that have induced this supposed love, only to find you have analyzed away any sort of emotions you may have had, and find yourself even more confused by you own analyzing. So you analyze more, and where does it end?
I cannot find any other great meaning in life, other than obtaining lasting satisfaction & happiness. I have yet to encounter a satisfied, happy subversive, it sounds like an oxymoron, but I am surrounded by content, ordinary people. And yes, they are happy, it doesn’t just appear that way to me, they do not question fundamental rules of their society, they have no reason to. Yes, of course we all bitch about taxes, US foreign politics and inefficient garbage disposal services. We all would like a bigger house, newer car, better wages. But do you ever question if democracy is really democracy, if it really is the right way? Do you think your salary is worth you spending two thirds of your day and the best years of your life working for someone else’s dreams? Do you question not only new laws being passed, but question all the ancient, unquestionable ones? Does TV not only bore you occasionally, but actually fill you with rage as you see it for the blatant propaganda it is? Do you secretly cheer when the ‘bad guys’ evade the law and get away with it? Do you long for it all to go to hell, so we can start anew? I know I do, I used to think I had insight, that I was just a bit smarter than the crowd, but where has all this ‘insight’ brought me? Happiness? Peace? Not really.
What good has this insight been other than having a long political rant with a friend, after which both of you will go back to your jobs, taxes, and family, just like all the rest of the ‘dumb’ sheep. It’s like feeling ashamed at your doubt of Big Brother, or wanting to get reconnected to the matrix. It sounds bad, but what can you and your rebelliousness do? If you think you alone, one subversive human being, can overthrow the system you might need some psychiatric help. Maybe we do, maybe we’re the only ones that just didn’t get it. So I’m going to try hard not to think to much, I’m going to try and take everything at face value. I’m going to try not to recognize the falsity of sport, institutions, political parties, the workplace and relationships. I’ll try to be a die-hard fan of something absurd. I’ll try to believe in something. I’ll try to have faith in the good-will of big brother. Initially this will be hard, almost impossible, but the mind is amazing and so is the power of denial. I will start to see that while I thought I had ideals and higher motives, I really was just a rebellious, unthankful, destructive kid. I’ll have peace someday, the whole secret is don’t think too much. And now to get back to work.
