cold turkey after two years plus drug use, need help and advice

[snowboarder88]

Ive been smoking pot for about 2 years straight and recently went cold turkey, about 2 weeks ago and I am experience very little sleep, agitation, over-analyzing, second guessing myself, regret, and playing things over in my head if i had done certain things differently, as well as trying to get back the people I have lost while just digging the hole deeper and deeper, all the while telling myself that everyone else is fucked up, ive lost patience with everything and everyone and drawing conclusions from everything that i think of or see. not to mention the fact that i kept completely to myself, was described as being in my own little world and losing any ounce of confidence i had.

I smoked anywhere from once a day to being high all day long with intermitten use of cocaine, a binge that pretty much last a month, oxycontin, adderall binging, alcohol, skoal, and towards the end mdma or ecstasy with ketamine twice a month for about 4 months. There were times that i thought everyone was plotting against me. I was depressed, lost control and when i tried to re-gain control just lost even more of it. i would play out things in my head before they even happened pretty much find the endpoint to everything i did. I always thought i was right and i had a hard time taking into account anyone else's viewpoint. then when i actually stopped i would re-play what i had done in my head and continually asked myself the what-if? questions. I felt like i was bi-polar and still do even tho it has been two weeks since my last blaze and probabley last month from the last time I did any other drug?
there were times where i tried to find meaning in every little thing that i did or that happened to me.
I know i dug myself and my head a deep hole with my drug usage, and i can honestly say that I dont want to do or I dont do any of that anymore, i even fight the urges. Is time the only thing that will help or should i seek professional help. I have apologized, been able to realize what i have done to certain people was wrong and realized that i have been frustrated with myself more than anyone and that I have only myself to blame. Is there more that i can or need to do overcome my problems. I am trying to accept everything for what it is, leave whats in the past in the past but is the only thing that can really help with this time? And how long? Im moving on but it aint easy.

i think that what made my time on drugs the worst is due to the fact that i didnt appreciate the people who did care or the things i had or was able to do. I didnt realize how fortunate I was and that not everyone was as fortunate as i am. After takin some time off I do realize that i have a lot more than most people, whether it is things, or family or friends and i couldnt take any criticism because i was so unsecure about these things. I also had an unbelievably hard time accepting anyone else's view points and understanding that people think differently then me and difficulty understanding why everyone didnt think like me. for example, would fight my side of the opinion until the other just gave up, and usually said: you always have to be right dont you?

I forgot to mention that from January to June I was abroad, on my own, studying in London, when my drug use peaked. could the change of place and society affect how i felt?

Its been over a couple of weeks now since last touched any pot or any other drugs. seems like i am forgiving myself for certain things, coming to terms, and being able to forget.

 

[phosphene_glow]

That's all good it sounds like - you had your highs. I bet some were really tremendous. I love weed but I have to pee test now so I stopped. I smoked on average of a half ounce of KB every week for years. Alot of money needless to say. I tried to stop and even did stop but either way I fell into despondency and depression. I like to think I am smart so I did seek out a shrink and was prescribed Celexa which really did rid me of the deepening depression. My shrink also gave me 5 mg valiums to take twice a day. And now he gave me trazadone for sleeping and the shit really works. Moreover the slight dullness the next day is really good for my stomach becvause I have superhypermetabolistic inability to eat without being on opiates.

To cut to the chase. A shrink is a good option. I was always honest with him about pot use and he never judged me. I never mentioned opiate use however and that and other hard drugs are cards to be kept up your sleeve or you'll get the drug abuse label and get fucked out of any meds at all. otherwise, with my insurance I pay fifty bucks once every three months for his help and my meds all cost seven bucks nowadays at Walgreens. So not bad huh?

Give it a shot. Having the advice of a good - personable - respectful headfucker is well worth the time and money. Plus, you never know what sort of lagniappe you may get. Some shrinks are looser with the pills than others. At very least you can get valium, and or xanax. Valium is quite a plesant drug when taken daily as prescribed. Xanax not so much so. And remember to tell your doctor that whatever he gives you you don't want diminished sex drive or increased eating. That should steer him towards safer and more 'clean' drugs. Hope this was sort of decent advice. Good Luck Bud. Londontown aye? Bully for you chappie.

 

[snowboarder88]

haha cheers mate! yo i feel like i may have said some serious hurtful shit to some people along the way. but still felt the need to say it. do i worry about this if certain people have stopped talking to me, and for example have even blocked me on facebook, after really telling them how i feel, like pretty straight forward stuff, or do i just take that as a sign to move on? im guessin the latter