Dancing Chick
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2014
- Messages
- 61
Dose:
0.5 mg, oral, Clonazepam
repeated, smoked, Cannabis
repeated, oral, Alcohol
1 hit, oral, LSD
4 mg, oral, Ondansetron
2.5 hits, oral, LSD
1 bowl, smoked, Catnip
0.5 mg, oral, Clonazepam
The last few days have not been that comfortable. There's been a stomach virus traveling around the population of my house, and apparently it's been really common around here lately. I know because on the day in the question I had to go see my doctor and get a note written up because I had called out of work. I had been sent home just a little bit early the night before as well because of a steadily growing stomach pain I had throughout the day, which climaxed in a short session of vomiting around midnight before I finally was able to go to bed. After that the symptoms never reached that severity again, but I still definitely felt out of it, and a bit nauseous. However, I also had some LSD coming my way that next night (or technically the morning after it) around 1:30 AM, and I decided that I could probably handle taking just one hit fine without too much trouble if it was about the potency that I've been used to from around here in the past. Yes... a wise decision.
Since I was off for the day, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to hang out after my doctor appointment. I was feeling well enough to drive a bit by then, so I headed to his and his girlfriend's place to pick him up and bring him over to my house. He had told me beforehand that he had been taking some of his girlfriend's clonazepam, and he offered me one of the ones that was reserved for him since I asked if he had any more to go around. I had a fairly bad headache at the time, which is somewhat normal for me. I have a chronic headache condition which I desperately would like to be rid of, though I often sabotage myself by continuously taking drugs that I know to temporarily help but ultimately make it worse. I have in general stopped taking benzodiazepines anymore, but this time I really only wanted it because of the plan to take some LSD. I had hoped that it might reduce some of the physical stress, which psychedelics often tend to intensify.
On the drive home, which takes about forty-five minutes, we ended up smoking a little weed. It was still early when we got back to my place, so we just ended up hanging out for a few hours first. It's honestly hard to remember exactly what all we did now.... Most likely, we just talked, listened to music, and watched Netflix like normal. We also had some food waiting for us that my parents had ordered for delivery for I left to pick him up. I ate a little over half of a bacon burger and some onion rings and french fries, another wonderful choice with my current physical state and upcoming plans. Somewhere in that time I also drank a beer, and we may have smoked some more, though I couldn't say for sure.... We also decided to drink some red wine with our initial doses of the LSD, though I can't remember if we started a little bit before we dosed or pretty much right after. What I do recall is that my friend showed up to drop off the hits and we chatted for just a little bit, and then he left and we dosed. I also took 4 mg of ondansetron in the hopes of reducing some of the nausea from my sickness. The plan was to see what that one dose did to us and if it wasn't that strong then to take a little more, but after it started kicking in it was hard not to get excited. An hour later I didn't really feel like I was significantly tripping yet, but my friend and I both were laughing a lot and had huge grins on our faces, and I felt fantastic. Without hesitation I went and grabbed us each two and a half more hits to take.
I do recall that some time within the next maybe half an hour or so, I was suddenly floored. The body high was incredible, and it was becoming very intense very quickly. I was also getting visuals like I couldn't believe. It's been a very long time since I've gotten any significant level of open-eye visual distortions, even with DMT which for me is mostly inner-visionary, but everything was now breathing and warping heavily and covered in colorful tracers. For a short period after that... things are a mystery. The next thing that I "clearly" remember after that is that my friend was stuck in a negative mindset. I knew that he had had some hesitation about tripping before we went into it, but I then learned that the reason was because he wasn't supposed to be tripping without the consent of his girlfriend, and to make a long story short, the fact that he was was... well, not good. There's personal stuff between them of course that I won't get into, but it was a poor decision. He was also tripping much harder than I was, which he pretty much always does at the same doses. He just wanted it to end, so I went to grab a couple pills of alprazolam to help him out a little bit. He was just going to try to go to bed.... I looked at the time and after some mental calculations found that it had been somewhere between one and two hours between our second dose, I can't quite remember exactly when now. In my very disrupted in state of mind I figured that he may be able to just sleep it off with the relatively low dose of alprazolam.... Yep, seems reasonable.
I vaguely recall going through a short period of looping behaviors where he asked some of the same questions repeatedly and I kept answering to try to help him calm down, and I was basically just in my head going back and forth between thoughts of wanting to help him and hoping it would work out soon so that I could pay more attention to my trip again. I got out some pillows and blankets for him to sleep on this huge pillow bed in the living room and planned to retire to my bedroom in the meantime, and eventually he said he thought he would be okay out there on his own. I also interacted with my parents just a little bit during this time, which went relatively easily. They seemed amused at my tripping behaviors. Anyway, so at that point I went into my bedroom and turned out all the lights.... Most of this part of the trip is hard to describe or remember. Closed eye visuals didn't seem to be prominent, so I suppose it's not surprising that visuals in the dark weren't common either. What I was experiencing was more like "thoughts" that were clearly working on some similar basic architecture, and it was basically just leading my down delirious thought processes as I tried to grasp just what the heck was happening to me.
However, around that time I started having some stomach issues as well. I ended up going to the bathroom, which was... odd. I'll try not to get too personal here, but basically the pain seemed to be completely gone but I was still obviously sick, which all the drugs and lack or proper eating surely weren't helping. At the time it made me feel quite weak and feeble, and I became concerned for myself. It's only because I would trust the friend who gave me the LSD with my life, and he told me it was reagent tested beforehand, that I was able to avoid some paranoid thoughts that maybe I hadn't taken what I thought I had. Of course, even with having faith in the drugs I was worried about my physical health. What with this and the headaches and just my sedentary lifestyle, I've lately just been becoming more and more stressed about myself but not really doing anything to make it better. This experience gave me a new sense of fear for myself, and has left some feelings in me that I very much hope stick and help my resolve to live a healthier life.... Looking down at myself at this time only produced distortions which made me look even more sickly, and I definitely don't want to have to feel that way ever again.
After I finally got out of the bathroom, I returned to my room. I remember realizing at some point in there that I wasn't quite sure how I had ended up in this situation. I had a solid sense of who I was in the sense that I could interact perfectly with everything that was going on around me placing it into the context of my life, but only somewhat paradoxically given that on a conscious level it seemed impossible to just will myself to remember anything before this trip. I was aware that this was because I was tripping. At some point I decided that I wanted to smoke some more weed, which if I was sober I would not think is a good idea. Weed gives me headaches better than almost anything, so mixing it with a psychedelic while I already had one just seems like a dumb idea.... But at the time, I wasn't even honestly sure what smoking would do to me. I honestly just sort of felt like it was something I was supposed to be doing because I was tripping. I took a few good puffs and watched as the bud beautifully warped around in the bowl, and then was plunged into the haze of the dark room. It is very, very difficult for me to remember much about what happened in my room after that.... I am fairly certain that I masturbated and had a great orgasm, but I truthfully can't say for sure if I even finished. I feel pretty confident in saying that I at least started trying. Anyway, I suppose at some point during all of this I got into enough of a wandering stupor to decide to leave the room again for some reason... and ended up back in the living room.
My friend was sitting up there, obviously still awake. He was still upset about not getting to be with his girlfriend and what he had done, but was becoming a bit more lucid about it. We ended up talking for a little bit and then went out on the back porch to smoke some catnip, basically just as an excuse to be outside and because it's calming. I believe we then came back in and listened to music, and maybe tried to watch some Netflix again.... I remember the latter being a bit overwhelming, but the music was really nice. I remember watching the video for Lorde's "Tennis Court", where basically all you do is look at her face the whole time, and this produced some pretty bizarre distortions. We also listened to some ATB and then just let the related videos play for a while. Given that it was just club music on YouTube, there were obviously lots of attractive girls with psychedelic art designs around them used as background images that resulted in some very sensual and stimulating warping imagery. There were also some gorgeous natural scenes that went by that blew me away. Again, since I've barely gotten open-eye visuals at all for a long time, years even, this was all extremely exciting for me. I had forgotten what it was like to have hallucinations that were so beautiful.
Eventually, as it was getting lighter outside, we decided to go on a walk. It was also getting colder and colder as the minutes went by, but we figured it was forth. First we each decided to take showers though, just for the good sensations and to feel a bit cleaner for the day. Up until this point I had been wearing a loose sweater and lounge pants, but after the shower I put on a more snug top and jeans. The tight-fitting nature of the clothes suddenly drew a lot of attention to the shape of my body, which I was surprised to find I had sort of forgotten the details of. Textures also just felt very altered, as I had been aware of the whole time when feeling my skin. The skin thing is normal for me, but the sense of body shape distortion stood out to me as something I hadn't noticed nearly this strongly since one of my first ever strong trips. This LSD definitely hit me much harder than I expected it to.
There's a small park in the neighborhood I grew up in, so as we have many times before my friend and I set out to traverse it. With most of our time on the walk, we just talked and enjoyed the body high and mindset. In many ways I was still physically uncomfortable; I had my headache still, I felt ill, I was malnourished, and I was freezing cold... but that didn't stop me from feeling remarkable overall, and my friend and I frequently burst into bouts of laughter. We talked about life, love, and most significantly, how ridiculous LSD is. My friend also wanted to enjoy the end of the trip as much as possible before reality began to take over again and he would have to face what he'd done. Whenever we stopped to rest or look at our surroundings, I would notice that I was still visually tripping pretty decently as well. We were sitting on a log by a creek in the middle of the forest there and the land lining the water kept pulsating in huge waves that made me very happy to see. My friend also started telling me about how he would continuously getting a repeating pattern with lizard or other reptilian forms whenever he would stop to stare at something, and at the moment I could picture it perfectly. I felt that I was getting the exact same thing, only instead of reptiles I was getting naked girls, which as I've mentioned in a prior trip report, I get almost every time I trip on anything. We passed by a tree with some strange orange puffy lines all over it (which I never quite figured out the actual identity of) and pointed to where I was getting my patterns on it, identifying which parts of the lines were the heads and which were the bodies. He verified that I was correctly identifying the parts of his reptile patterns, and I told him that I was just seeing naked bodies all twisted and stacked together, with lots of highly sexual themes detailing the complete image. As usual, this was quite stimulating.
When we couldn't stand the cold anymore, we headed back to my house. While there my parents were putting out lots of fruit on the kitchen counter, and I was eating as much as possible in a meager attempt to start improving my physical health. It wasn't too long after that that I had to take my friend back to his place so that he could get ready for work, which I would be driving him to. I don't remember much about the drive, but I wasn't really visually tripping anymore by that point, I just felt a little strange still. My friend asked me not to tell his girlfriend he had tripped.... I did so, but I felt really bad about it. His girlfriend has also always been a close friend and so the situation was planting a lot of regret in me, especially given my current mindset. My friend went straight to bed to get a little more rest and I took another 0.5 mg of clonazepam in order to fully come down, as I had been called into work basically right after I would be dropping my friend off. His girlfriend and I just hung out for a little bit, and then she went to go check on him. Of course, if anyone was going to be able to notice he wasn't acting sober it was her.... Not too long after that, she stormed out of the apartment and he was... let's just say terribly depressed. Enough that I didn't have to be in the same room with him to tell. I felt really bad, but there wasn't much to be done at the moment.... His girlfriend forgot her phone and I was sitting next to it so she came back to get it and I handed it her and tried to just give a look of sorrow as she took it and walked back out. Shortly after that, I took my friend to work....
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful for me. I was totally down, and just fairly out of it for the few hours I was at work. I was still sick too of course, so I wasn't in the most comfortable state. When I got home I saw the leftovers of my dinner from the night before, and I almost decided to eat it but my stomach turned a bit. I hope this is a good sign... that never would have happened before. Instead I opted to eat some macaroni that my mom had made for dinner that night, and I'm very glad with myself for it. Today I've been trying to eat healthier as well... I really, really, really want to start getting healthier as soon as possible. Especially after having such a powerful experience like that when I'd thought that those kind of trips may have been behind me, and knowing that the only thing that could have been better about it is if I had felt great physically as well. Though, I also still feel pretty bad about the whole thing with my friends.... I still feel guilty about lying as well. I haven't done anything about it yet because it just happened and I figure it's not the highest priority on their mind now of course... but it's still hard to deal with those feelings at the moment. But, that's life I suppose....
All in all, I was very happy with this LSD, and it made for a great first acid trip in years. I'll definitely be using it again, once I start getting my body on the road to a much better state of being.
0.5 mg, oral, Clonazepam
repeated, smoked, Cannabis
repeated, oral, Alcohol
1 hit, oral, LSD
4 mg, oral, Ondansetron
2.5 hits, oral, LSD
1 bowl, smoked, Catnip
0.5 mg, oral, Clonazepam
The last few days have not been that comfortable. There's been a stomach virus traveling around the population of my house, and apparently it's been really common around here lately. I know because on the day in the question I had to go see my doctor and get a note written up because I had called out of work. I had been sent home just a little bit early the night before as well because of a steadily growing stomach pain I had throughout the day, which climaxed in a short session of vomiting around midnight before I finally was able to go to bed. After that the symptoms never reached that severity again, but I still definitely felt out of it, and a bit nauseous. However, I also had some LSD coming my way that next night (or technically the morning after it) around 1:30 AM, and I decided that I could probably handle taking just one hit fine without too much trouble if it was about the potency that I've been used to from around here in the past. Yes... a wise decision.
Since I was off for the day, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to hang out after my doctor appointment. I was feeling well enough to drive a bit by then, so I headed to his and his girlfriend's place to pick him up and bring him over to my house. He had told me beforehand that he had been taking some of his girlfriend's clonazepam, and he offered me one of the ones that was reserved for him since I asked if he had any more to go around. I had a fairly bad headache at the time, which is somewhat normal for me. I have a chronic headache condition which I desperately would like to be rid of, though I often sabotage myself by continuously taking drugs that I know to temporarily help but ultimately make it worse. I have in general stopped taking benzodiazepines anymore, but this time I really only wanted it because of the plan to take some LSD. I had hoped that it might reduce some of the physical stress, which psychedelics often tend to intensify.
On the drive home, which takes about forty-five minutes, we ended up smoking a little weed. It was still early when we got back to my place, so we just ended up hanging out for a few hours first. It's honestly hard to remember exactly what all we did now.... Most likely, we just talked, listened to music, and watched Netflix like normal. We also had some food waiting for us that my parents had ordered for delivery for I left to pick him up. I ate a little over half of a bacon burger and some onion rings and french fries, another wonderful choice with my current physical state and upcoming plans. Somewhere in that time I also drank a beer, and we may have smoked some more, though I couldn't say for sure.... We also decided to drink some red wine with our initial doses of the LSD, though I can't remember if we started a little bit before we dosed or pretty much right after. What I do recall is that my friend showed up to drop off the hits and we chatted for just a little bit, and then he left and we dosed. I also took 4 mg of ondansetron in the hopes of reducing some of the nausea from my sickness. The plan was to see what that one dose did to us and if it wasn't that strong then to take a little more, but after it started kicking in it was hard not to get excited. An hour later I didn't really feel like I was significantly tripping yet, but my friend and I both were laughing a lot and had huge grins on our faces, and I felt fantastic. Without hesitation I went and grabbed us each two and a half more hits to take.
I do recall that some time within the next maybe half an hour or so, I was suddenly floored. The body high was incredible, and it was becoming very intense very quickly. I was also getting visuals like I couldn't believe. It's been a very long time since I've gotten any significant level of open-eye visual distortions, even with DMT which for me is mostly inner-visionary, but everything was now breathing and warping heavily and covered in colorful tracers. For a short period after that... things are a mystery. The next thing that I "clearly" remember after that is that my friend was stuck in a negative mindset. I knew that he had had some hesitation about tripping before we went into it, but I then learned that the reason was because he wasn't supposed to be tripping without the consent of his girlfriend, and to make a long story short, the fact that he was was... well, not good. There's personal stuff between them of course that I won't get into, but it was a poor decision. He was also tripping much harder than I was, which he pretty much always does at the same doses. He just wanted it to end, so I went to grab a couple pills of alprazolam to help him out a little bit. He was just going to try to go to bed.... I looked at the time and after some mental calculations found that it had been somewhere between one and two hours between our second dose, I can't quite remember exactly when now. In my very disrupted in state of mind I figured that he may be able to just sleep it off with the relatively low dose of alprazolam.... Yep, seems reasonable.
I vaguely recall going through a short period of looping behaviors where he asked some of the same questions repeatedly and I kept answering to try to help him calm down, and I was basically just in my head going back and forth between thoughts of wanting to help him and hoping it would work out soon so that I could pay more attention to my trip again. I got out some pillows and blankets for him to sleep on this huge pillow bed in the living room and planned to retire to my bedroom in the meantime, and eventually he said he thought he would be okay out there on his own. I also interacted with my parents just a little bit during this time, which went relatively easily. They seemed amused at my tripping behaviors. Anyway, so at that point I went into my bedroom and turned out all the lights.... Most of this part of the trip is hard to describe or remember. Closed eye visuals didn't seem to be prominent, so I suppose it's not surprising that visuals in the dark weren't common either. What I was experiencing was more like "thoughts" that were clearly working on some similar basic architecture, and it was basically just leading my down delirious thought processes as I tried to grasp just what the heck was happening to me.
However, around that time I started having some stomach issues as well. I ended up going to the bathroom, which was... odd. I'll try not to get too personal here, but basically the pain seemed to be completely gone but I was still obviously sick, which all the drugs and lack or proper eating surely weren't helping. At the time it made me feel quite weak and feeble, and I became concerned for myself. It's only because I would trust the friend who gave me the LSD with my life, and he told me it was reagent tested beforehand, that I was able to avoid some paranoid thoughts that maybe I hadn't taken what I thought I had. Of course, even with having faith in the drugs I was worried about my physical health. What with this and the headaches and just my sedentary lifestyle, I've lately just been becoming more and more stressed about myself but not really doing anything to make it better. This experience gave me a new sense of fear for myself, and has left some feelings in me that I very much hope stick and help my resolve to live a healthier life.... Looking down at myself at this time only produced distortions which made me look even more sickly, and I definitely don't want to have to feel that way ever again.
After I finally got out of the bathroom, I returned to my room. I remember realizing at some point in there that I wasn't quite sure how I had ended up in this situation. I had a solid sense of who I was in the sense that I could interact perfectly with everything that was going on around me placing it into the context of my life, but only somewhat paradoxically given that on a conscious level it seemed impossible to just will myself to remember anything before this trip. I was aware that this was because I was tripping. At some point I decided that I wanted to smoke some more weed, which if I was sober I would not think is a good idea. Weed gives me headaches better than almost anything, so mixing it with a psychedelic while I already had one just seems like a dumb idea.... But at the time, I wasn't even honestly sure what smoking would do to me. I honestly just sort of felt like it was something I was supposed to be doing because I was tripping. I took a few good puffs and watched as the bud beautifully warped around in the bowl, and then was plunged into the haze of the dark room. It is very, very difficult for me to remember much about what happened in my room after that.... I am fairly certain that I masturbated and had a great orgasm, but I truthfully can't say for sure if I even finished. I feel pretty confident in saying that I at least started trying. Anyway, I suppose at some point during all of this I got into enough of a wandering stupor to decide to leave the room again for some reason... and ended up back in the living room.
My friend was sitting up there, obviously still awake. He was still upset about not getting to be with his girlfriend and what he had done, but was becoming a bit more lucid about it. We ended up talking for a little bit and then went out on the back porch to smoke some catnip, basically just as an excuse to be outside and because it's calming. I believe we then came back in and listened to music, and maybe tried to watch some Netflix again.... I remember the latter being a bit overwhelming, but the music was really nice. I remember watching the video for Lorde's "Tennis Court", where basically all you do is look at her face the whole time, and this produced some pretty bizarre distortions. We also listened to some ATB and then just let the related videos play for a while. Given that it was just club music on YouTube, there were obviously lots of attractive girls with psychedelic art designs around them used as background images that resulted in some very sensual and stimulating warping imagery. There were also some gorgeous natural scenes that went by that blew me away. Again, since I've barely gotten open-eye visuals at all for a long time, years even, this was all extremely exciting for me. I had forgotten what it was like to have hallucinations that were so beautiful.
Eventually, as it was getting lighter outside, we decided to go on a walk. It was also getting colder and colder as the minutes went by, but we figured it was forth. First we each decided to take showers though, just for the good sensations and to feel a bit cleaner for the day. Up until this point I had been wearing a loose sweater and lounge pants, but after the shower I put on a more snug top and jeans. The tight-fitting nature of the clothes suddenly drew a lot of attention to the shape of my body, which I was surprised to find I had sort of forgotten the details of. Textures also just felt very altered, as I had been aware of the whole time when feeling my skin. The skin thing is normal for me, but the sense of body shape distortion stood out to me as something I hadn't noticed nearly this strongly since one of my first ever strong trips. This LSD definitely hit me much harder than I expected it to.
There's a small park in the neighborhood I grew up in, so as we have many times before my friend and I set out to traverse it. With most of our time on the walk, we just talked and enjoyed the body high and mindset. In many ways I was still physically uncomfortable; I had my headache still, I felt ill, I was malnourished, and I was freezing cold... but that didn't stop me from feeling remarkable overall, and my friend and I frequently burst into bouts of laughter. We talked about life, love, and most significantly, how ridiculous LSD is. My friend also wanted to enjoy the end of the trip as much as possible before reality began to take over again and he would have to face what he'd done. Whenever we stopped to rest or look at our surroundings, I would notice that I was still visually tripping pretty decently as well. We were sitting on a log by a creek in the middle of the forest there and the land lining the water kept pulsating in huge waves that made me very happy to see. My friend also started telling me about how he would continuously getting a repeating pattern with lizard or other reptilian forms whenever he would stop to stare at something, and at the moment I could picture it perfectly. I felt that I was getting the exact same thing, only instead of reptiles I was getting naked girls, which as I've mentioned in a prior trip report, I get almost every time I trip on anything. We passed by a tree with some strange orange puffy lines all over it (which I never quite figured out the actual identity of) and pointed to where I was getting my patterns on it, identifying which parts of the lines were the heads and which were the bodies. He verified that I was correctly identifying the parts of his reptile patterns, and I told him that I was just seeing naked bodies all twisted and stacked together, with lots of highly sexual themes detailing the complete image. As usual, this was quite stimulating.
When we couldn't stand the cold anymore, we headed back to my house. While there my parents were putting out lots of fruit on the kitchen counter, and I was eating as much as possible in a meager attempt to start improving my physical health. It wasn't too long after that that I had to take my friend back to his place so that he could get ready for work, which I would be driving him to. I don't remember much about the drive, but I wasn't really visually tripping anymore by that point, I just felt a little strange still. My friend asked me not to tell his girlfriend he had tripped.... I did so, but I felt really bad about it. His girlfriend has also always been a close friend and so the situation was planting a lot of regret in me, especially given my current mindset. My friend went straight to bed to get a little more rest and I took another 0.5 mg of clonazepam in order to fully come down, as I had been called into work basically right after I would be dropping my friend off. His girlfriend and I just hung out for a little bit, and then she went to go check on him. Of course, if anyone was going to be able to notice he wasn't acting sober it was her.... Not too long after that, she stormed out of the apartment and he was... let's just say terribly depressed. Enough that I didn't have to be in the same room with him to tell. I felt really bad, but there wasn't much to be done at the moment.... His girlfriend forgot her phone and I was sitting next to it so she came back to get it and I handed it her and tried to just give a look of sorrow as she took it and walked back out. Shortly after that, I took my friend to work....
The rest of the day was fairly uneventful for me. I was totally down, and just fairly out of it for the few hours I was at work. I was still sick too of course, so I wasn't in the most comfortable state. When I got home I saw the leftovers of my dinner from the night before, and I almost decided to eat it but my stomach turned a bit. I hope this is a good sign... that never would have happened before. Instead I opted to eat some macaroni that my mom had made for dinner that night, and I'm very glad with myself for it. Today I've been trying to eat healthier as well... I really, really, really want to start getting healthier as soon as possible. Especially after having such a powerful experience like that when I'd thought that those kind of trips may have been behind me, and knowing that the only thing that could have been better about it is if I had felt great physically as well. Though, I also still feel pretty bad about the whole thing with my friends.... I still feel guilty about lying as well. I haven't done anything about it yet because it just happened and I figure it's not the highest priority on their mind now of course... but it's still hard to deal with those feelings at the moment. But, that's life I suppose....
All in all, I was very happy with this LSD, and it made for a great first acid trip in years. I'll definitely be using it again, once I start getting my body on the road to a much better state of being.
