Mental Health Clonazepam 2mg vs Prozac

[Masa]

Greetings!

I normally just linger about this site, but today I really need some help or advice, or just somebody to hear my story. I dunno...I keep feeling the walls closing in on me...I know times are tough for everyone, but if anybody could just comment on my situation, maybe I would not feel so alone...

I started getting constant day-long panic attacks around 13 years ago (after the first time I experienced unemployment) and was given xanax through a local clinic (not a trained psychiatrist). Not long after, I was then given Prozac (maybe because the xanax had caused depression in me, was never actually told why I was prescribed it.) That doctor was on a whole cocktail of psych drugs (she said she has suffered massive bullying in medical school, she told me this crying while looking at the sideeffects of the various drugs she was going to prescribe herself) before she sold up and it became a plastic surgery place. That was when I went to a psychiatric hospital. That was maybe 9 years ago.

I was placed on Rivotril 0.5 3 or 4 per day, because the doctor was shocked I had been given 4 0.5 Xanax per day. He said we would taper and use Prozac as the main treatment for my panic attacks, by which time had probably morphed into panic disorder and depression. At that time, I had started to drink a couple of times a week (I know, not good). Anyway, that was when I had a job. I quit that job after a few years on the meds because I hated it, but my drinking definitely didn't help my experiences in there. I axxept responsibility for that, even though my boss and everyone on my team were trying to fuck with me. Back then, I took my 4 Rivotril a day, but was always off and on the Prozac. I didn't like sexual side fefects and the way it made me so apathetic and disconnected.

Fast forward until now. I have actually been unemployed for 7 years now because I live in a country that is hard for me to secure work in (not my country of birth and the indstry I used to work in has been fucked by AI.) Luckily, my wife has taken care of me and despite me constantly trying to get work, nothing has ever came to be, even before the pandemic. Now 2 years in, things are just as bad and I feel massively guilty and useless. Seems the only way out is 1. entrepreneurship or 2. to go home (but I can't because I came here to escape my dysfunctional family and would not want to take my wife back to them.) At the moment, entrepreneurship scares the hell out of me, because I have ZERO confidence and live in constant fear.

Anyway, at the start of the pandemic, I quit drinking. I was always more of a binge drinker (never drank two days straight and I am now totally sober for almost 2 years. 3 months back, the psychiatric hospital I mentioned three paragraphs up had a confirmed covid case, so I never had the nerve to go back (massive germ phobia.) I went to see another doctor at another hospital. He prescribed me with 4 Rivotril per day and 4 Prozac per day. Thing is, I quit Prozac maybe 8 months ago. I quit cold turkey, as it made me lazy and apathetic and made me gain about 25 kilograms. I only took it from this new doctor because I didn't want him thinking I was a Rivotril junkie (they really like pushing Prozac...) Last time I saw him, he booked me in for a psychological evaluation and mentioned therapy. The diagnosis on my bags of pills is generalized anxiety diorder without agoraphobia. The evaluation is in 3 weeks. Apart from anxiety, I feel I have traits of OCD, ADHD, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety and MASSIVE LACK OF CONFIDENCE. (Nonbody can tell this tho from looking at me. I hide it well.)

Until 3 week back, I was drinking about 800g of caffeine and smoking 2 packs of cigarettes per day, both of which I quit cold turkey about 2 weeks ago. (Upon quitting coffee, I found the caffeine had been really messing with my stress hormones, so I figured I would stop smoking a couple of days after. My anxiety did go down a fair bit after quitting those two. The cravings were purely mental and lasted maybe 3 days.

Like I said, I am currently prescribed 4 Rivotril per day and 4 Prozac per day. However, I NEVER "followed the instrcutions" when it came to Rivotril; I would just put 4 down with my morning coffee and be done with it until the next day.

Over the last two weeks, I started taking two 0.5 on waking and two 0.5 before sleeping and things have been so rough...way worse than ever before...

Is 2mg in the morning really different to 1mg and 1mg morning and night? Would that cause benzo withdrawal?

Lately, I have been crying a lot, I feel raw, I feel ashamed about having been unemployed for so long (I actually can't believe it's been 7 years). It seems I lost all track of time. I am thinking of telling my new doctor about this, even though I don't know if I can trust him, including not taking the prescribed Prozac bit. I am worried he will get pissed off. I dunno if these feelings are caffeine withdrawal, nicotine withdrawal, half a dose less of my morning Rivotril or what, but I really cannot handle it anymore. I am considering entering therapy (quite expensive tho), because here they just give out meds and let you sink or swim, so therapy and meds are separate. Reading all the books about anxiety, CBT and what not haven't helped me. I know having a job would fix me, but, I am sick of hundred of refusals...it don't help the confidence much.

What am I experiencing here? I don't feel depressed (I have been there before.) I feel ashamed of being unemployed for so long and my anxiety is at levels I have never ever known.

Would you tell your doctor you are not taking your Prozac if you were me? I can't smoke pot as it sends me paranoid as hell, so, that's off the table.

I don't exercise because I am so ashamed of being in public, because if I leave the house, I feel like I am spending money that isn't mine. I just lie around all day, trying not to go crazy and end up watching YouTube instead of doing anything proactive to help my situation.

What would you guys suggest I do?

Any advice would really help.

Thank you.

 

[Masa]

Oh, I forgot to ask...

Should I just drop a prozac and get on with my life already (a prozac used to fix me within 30 minutes and would make benzo withdrawals much less noticeable) or keep trying to taper my Clonazepam down and do CBT and get fully "clean." (Was just reading a thread here about clonazepam and dementia....)

 

[InvegaIsdeath]

You can fill up buckets with rocks and water and lift those. You can even do overhead squats, which is a balance/form/strength exercize which hits the body so hard, it raises test levels. Take quality off brand horny goat weed. It can raise test levels a little in some people. Sludge hammer and a tire is a really good exercize. Take probiotics.

SSRIs arent good for anybody in my opinion, benzos have less side effects and addiction to them can be tapered.

 

[Masa]

You can fill up buckets with rocks and water and lift those. You can even do overhead squats, which is a balance/form/strength exercize which hits the body so hard, it raises test levels. Take quality off brand horny goat weed. It can raise test levels a little in some people. Sludge hammer and a tire is a really good exercize. Take probiotics.

SSRIs arent good for anybody in my opinion, benzos have less side effects and addiction to them can be tapered.

Wow! Thank you so much for your reply!

After writing my last post on Monday and looking at CBT books about my how distorted my thoughts are, I was so upset I had to go for a walk outside, literally first time in months. The next morning, I woke at 4 am, with morning anxiety induced sore stomach and thought: "Go for a run!" I went for a run, like maybe 5 minutes (most I could do, really lame to see) and then a very long walk (first time I have sweated in years.) Last night, I checked out workouts on YouTube. This morning I was doing jumping jacks, squats and other stretches I learned on YouTube (me legs are killing me now...)

I have to say, for someone who hasn't exercised since maybe 16 (more than 20 years ago). I feel a lot better in only 2 days. I have still been waking with morning anxiety so I will definitely look into probiotics. Lucky I resisted the urge to run to my shrink yesterday and come clean about not taking my prescribed prozac and pop the suggested 20mg. I have also decided to ditch the CBT, DBT and maybe the ACT books and start my own company doing what I can, because I suffer from depression caused by structural unemployment (jobs for locals and not all foreigners, esp. if you make the locals look bad..,. These are not twisted thoughts. I know this labor market very well...it's a fact I see play out here everyday. Dunno why I should perceive that as being a twisted thought. I doubt the talking therapy they offer here would do me much good either, since they would not accept there is any racism here...

Really! Thank you so much for your reply! Seems all shrinks just wanna give SSRIs to everyone now for all sorts of conditions (like unemployment induced hatred turned inward.) I was diagnosed with GAD under this new shrink 3 months back instead of my old diagnosis of panic disorder and depression, but after getting off prozac about 6 months ago, I really don't wanna go back there. The apathy they caused...they made me feel like I wasn't me and I dunno where the last 7 years have went. I mean, I know, but I have no emotional memory of those 7 years. Now I feel like I am starting from zero in my early 40s...that's scary, but better than the hell I have been living the last few months...

Thank you so much for your response! It means a lot!

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

In my opinion, they both have some big strengths and weaknesses.

Benzos have few side effects, are somewhat pleasurable, work fast, can also help with sleep, and don't mess with the mood too much. But they also create a heavy dependence, aren't very good for the long-term, are controlled substances otherwise, can create a heavy dependency, and can lead to some long-term issues. That said, I've known people who swear by them, even long-term, and the therapeutic effect never totally goes away.

Prozac is better for long-term, also works for depression, is safer, isn't controlled, and won't mess with your cognition as much. But it can make people feel numb, can take a while to work, and can't be as-needed. People can do really well on this one, too.

Overall, I'd choose an SSRI. It just seems a safer bet to me.

Let me know if I can speak on anything else for ya.

 

[Masa]

Thank you very much for your reply!

I agree that they do both have their pros and cons. That's why I am unsure what to do. I have two questions. They are at the bottom.

Firstly, this is my med history.

I was originally prescribed Xanax for maybe 3 years for panic disorder and I was later switched over to Clonazepam and Prozac, because I told the psychiatrist I wanted off Xanax. That was 11 years ago. For the last 11 years, my daily life was 2mg Clonazepam and 2mg Prozac daily. I would just take them all at once every morning, instead of stretching them out through the day as prescribed. Prozac used to TOTALLY take away my anxiety with just one pill, within half an hour. I didn't need to wait weeks or months as they say you have to. ONE DOSE. It was like a magic pill. However, it also made me very apathetic and extremely lazy, not to mention the massive weight gain it caused.

So, I am a long-term user of both Clonazepam and Prozac. (11 years)

6 months ago I stopped Prozac all together because I ran out. I was feeling fie until I had a couple traumatic events. At that time, I was drinking 800g of caffeine per day and I should have known better. Anyway, I quit that a month back cold turkey and then cigarettes followed. I haven't as much as touched alcohol in more than one year and have started exercising this week. I even tried yoga last night before bed. Something I never thought I would do. I just woke up with a massive stomach ache from morning anxiety, which is TOTALLY new for me (I have had a MAJOR recent stressor) and am now trying to start my own company to stop this unemployment (not my major stressor)

From past experience, I know Prozac would help me lead an easier life, but I also know their side effects and don’t want them.

The last 3 weeks or so, I have been taking Clonazepam as prescribed, 0.5mg 4 times per day instead of all 2mg in the morning. I get the feeling that sudden change in dosing is really messing with me, since my blood concentration each morning is one quarter of what it used to be, although at the end of the day, it ends up (KINDA???) the same. Typing is hard. I struggle to read books because I keep needing to re-read paragraphs. That's why I am thinking Prozac, since I am prescribed it anyway. But the trouble reading might also just be pure anxiety about my future and my current environment. This is my major stressor, but it is kinda too private to share online. My wife is supportive, so I do not consider her part of the environment. She has in fact, saved my life.

My questions are 1. Could my sudden change in Clonazepam dosing cause withdrawal effects and 2. Would my doc flip out if I told him I don't take his Prozac?

I don't wanna end up getting suddenly detoxed if I tell him, but I also don't wanna cheat him...I don't know what he would do if I come clean about not taking Prozac. I also know he would be able to treat me better if he knew what I was actually putting into myself. But I kinda lied to him when I first went to him, because I had ONE 0.5 Clonazepam left, but had been Prozac free for 3 months. I didn't mention being Prozac free, because I didn't want him thinking I was doctor shopping for pills, even though my ENTIRE dosage history is in the cloud on his computer. What happened was that I was too freaked out to go to my regular doc because they had a confirmed COVID case and I just stopped taking prozac while using an old stockpile of Clonazepam I had and stopping Prozac made me feel better. As of January this year, I was still taking 3 0.5 prozac a day and only took 2 Clonazepam per day. That's how I ended up with the 2 year stockpile of Clonazepam, but I don't know if he will buy that, as telling him so would be admitting I lied to him during the first visit.

I have felt very raw this last month (on Prozac I was always numb) and things feel hard, (at least I can feel things) But I guess life is hard when you quit so many thing at once and finally face reality.

It is raining heavily outside this morning, but I am going out to exercise.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!!!

 

[Bare_head]

Hey Masa.

Really proud to see you taken the step to get out for a run.

Just remember. People are all too wrapped up in their own lives to care about someone running . In fact i commend and love to see someone trying to better themselves.

Remember to push urself but dont overdo it.

I would never advise you what to take and not to take, after all these years experiementing and seeing drug use. What works for one person might not work for another and vice versa.

It sounds as if u do get some relief from anxiety from the prozac?

If it really helps alot then i may persevere with them at least if you are feeling desperate atm. I do agree doctors seem all to willing to give out ssri's in this day and age. I was offered them 10 years back when i went to the doctors. I always wonder what if i did take them..

I would say the fact u are dosing your clonaz differently will for sure have a direct effect on how your feeling. Do you swallow clonazepam? I usually stick them under the tounge.


Gl mate it sounds like u have a suppportive wife which is great to hear

 

[Masa]

Thank you for your response!

My wife is indeed very supportive. I would be dead without her. But I don't wanna keep letting my anxiety make it so she is looking after me. That is just twisted.

I just swallow the Clonazepam (used to be 4 x 0.5g tabs at once upon waking with super strong coffee). Now it is 1 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon (sometimes one) and then 1 before bed. No Prozac for 6 months now, but I am very tempted, because they worked and worked SUPER FAST. I just don't wanna keep putting more shit into my body. I changed my Clonazepam dosing schedule (actually followed the instructions for the first time in 11 years) and yeah, I feel RAW, but I think that is better than sitting around feeling stoned and not giving a fuck and losing 7 years.

The weather really sucks today, but I masked up and went running anyway. That run just killed me. I also did squats and a few other strengthening exercises. My legs and arms are killing me now. I won't stop though. It's all I have now. I even did yoga last night, man, that was a hard thing for me to do...

I don't think I will tell my doctor about kinda lying to him about the meds. He just gives out medicine. Any real talk therapy is separate and way too expensive. That's how it is here (just don't want to say where I am. It ain't a western country, let's put it that way.) Last time I saw him he booked me in for a psychological assessment that is coming up in a couple of weeks because he can't understand why I was not responding to his maximum doses of Prozac and Clonazepam. (He didn't know I have been throwing out the Prozac when I get home.)

I don't need therapy to know unemployment is what is making me feel bad. Now I just gotta see if I can stabilize somewhat on my new dosing schedule and then start my own business. The thought of it gives me so much anxiety...but it's the only way out of this current situation. That's why Prozac is tempting.

Thanks for your reply man! You have a great day!

 

[deficiT]

Although it's usually best to "be honest" with doctors, I've found that has caused me more problems than it's solved in many circumstances.

I wouldn't tell him that you've stopped the Prozac, and I wouldn't tell him that you were taking all of your Clonazepam at once. This might just be me, but I'm ultra wary of telling doctors things that would give them any reason to drop your dose or cut you off completely.

It sounds like you legitimately need the medicine. Maybe taking the Prozac could be helpful for you at the moment? Or if not, you can always tell him that you'd like to stop it, not that you already have. And maybe you could ask him if it'd be better to dose the Clonazepam differently, without letting on that you already have been?

You should always be concerned about the medicine you are taking and what effect it's having on you, but if it's something that you legitimately need, I wouldn't stress it too bad. All he does is prescribe, it's up to you to take the medicine.

 

[Masa]

Although it's usually best to "be honest" with doctors, I've found that has caused me more problems than it's solved in many circumstances.

I wouldn't tell him that you've stopped the Prozac, and I wouldn't tell him that you were taking all of your Clonazepam at once. This might just be me, but I'm ultra wary of telling doctors things that would give them any reason to drop your dose or cut you off completely.

It sounds like you legitimately need the medicine. Maybe taking the Prozac could be helpful for you at the moment? Or if not, you can always tell him that you'd like to stop it, not that you already have. And maybe you could ask him if it'd be better to dose the Clonazepam differently, without letting on that you already have been?

You should always be concerned about the medicine you are taking and what effect it's having on you, but if it's something that you legitimately need, I wouldn't stress it too bad. All he does is prescribe, it's up to you to take the medicine.

Thank you so much.

I guess I wasn't being paranoid about not telling him what I have changed.

If I was suddenly cut off clonazepam after 11 years, I would be dead very soon, I'm sure. My sister was an epplielptic when young and also suffers from worse anxiety than me, she just doesn't take anything for it. My mother has it, as does my father. This stuff is in my dna. I thought it was because I lost my first job at 28 and ended up with panic disorder. I now highly doubt that after recent conversations with them. (I haven't seen them much in the last 20 years.)

I love your suggestions about how to bring those topics I mentioned up with my doctor. I'm pretty sure those would be safe to use without being blacklisted.

I would actually like to be medicine free one day and even if that isnt possible, wean myself off clonazepam down to a point here I only need it sometimes.

Thank you very much! I hope you have a great day!

 

[Opi_Kid_Rock]

Greetings!

I normally just linger about this site, but today I really need some help or advice, or just somebody to hear my story. I dunno...I keep feeling the walls closing in on me...I know times are tough for everyone, but if anybody could just comment on my situation, maybe I would not feel so alone...

I started getting constant day-long panic attacks around 13 years ago (after the first time I experienced unemployment) and was given xanax through a local clinic (not a trained psychiatrist). Not long after, I was then given Prozac (maybe because the xanax had caused depression in me, was never actually told why I was prescribed it.) That doctor was on a whole cocktail of psych drugs (she said she has suffered massive bullying in medical school, she told me this crying while looking at the sideeffects of the various drugs she was going to prescribe herself) before she sold up and it became a plastic surgery place. That was when I went to a psychiatric hospital. That was maybe 9 years ago.

I was placed on Rivotril 0.5 3 or 4 per day, because the doctor was shocked I had been given 4 0.5 Xanax per day. He said we would taper and use Prozac as the main treatment for my panic attacks, by which time had probably morphed into panic disorder and depression. At that time, I had started to drink a couple of times a week (I know, not good). Anyway, that was when I had a job. I quit that job after a few years on the meds because I hated it, but my drinking definitely didn't help my experiences in there. I axxept responsibility for that, even though my boss and everyone on my team were trying to fuck with me. Back then, I took my 4 Rivotril a day, but was always off and on the Prozac. I didn't like sexual side fefects and the way it made me so apathetic and disconnected.

Fast forward until now. I have actually been unemployed for 7 years now because I live in a country that is hard for me to secure work in (not my country of birth and the indstry I used to work in has been fucked by AI.) Luckily, my wife has taken care of me and despite me constantly trying to get work, nothing has ever came to be, even before the pandemic. Now 2 years in, things are just as bad and I feel massively guilty and useless. Seems the only way out is 1. entrepreneurship or 2. to go home (but I can't because I came here to escape my dysfunctional family and would not want to take my wife back to them.) At the moment, entrepreneurship scares the hell out of me, because I have ZERO confidence and live in constant fear.

Anyway, at the start of the pandemic, I quit drinking. I was always more of a binge drinker (never drank two days straight and I am now totally sober for almost 2 years. 3 months back, the psychiatric hospital I mentioned three paragraphs up had a confirmed covid case, so I never had the nerve to go back (massive germ phobia.) I went to see another doctor at another hospital. He prescribed me with 4 Rivotril per day and 4 Prozac per day. Thing is, I quit Prozac maybe 8 months ago. I quit cold turkey, as it made me lazy and apathetic and made me gain about 25 kilograms. I only took it from this new doctor because I didn't want him thinking I was a Rivotril junkie (they really like pushing Prozac...) Last time I saw him, he booked me in for a psychological evaluation and mentioned therapy. The diagnosis on my bags of pills is generalized anxiety diorder without agoraphobia. The evaluation is in 3 weeks. Apart from anxiety, I feel I have traits of OCD, ADHD, Hypochondria, Social Anxiety and MASSIVE LACK OF CONFIDENCE. (Nonbody can tell this tho from looking at me. I hide it well.)

Until 3 week back, I was drinking about 800g of caffeine and smoking 2 packs of cigarettes per day, both of which I quit cold turkey about 2 weeks ago. (Upon quitting coffee, I found the caffeine had been really messing with my stress hormones, so I figured I would stop smoking a couple of days after. My anxiety did go down a fair bit after quitting those two. The cravings were purely mental and lasted maybe 3 days.

Like I said, I am currently prescribed 4 Rivotril per day and 4 Prozac per day. However, I NEVER "followed the instrcutions" when it came to Rivotril; I would just put 4 down with my morning coffee and be done with it until the next day.

Over the last two weeks, I started taking two 0.5 on waking and two 0.5 before sleeping and things have been so rough...way worse than ever before...

Is 2mg in the morning really different to 1mg and 1mg morning and night? Would that cause benzo withdrawal?

Lately, I have been crying a lot, I feel raw, I feel ashamed about having been unemployed for so long (I actually can't believe it's been 7 years). It seems I lost all track of time. I am thinking of telling my new doctor about this, even though I don't know if I can trust him, including not taking the prescribed Prozac bit. I am worried he will get pissed off. I dunno if these feelings are caffeine withdrawal, nicotine withdrawal, half a dose less of my morning Rivotril or what, but I really cannot handle it anymore. I am considering entering therapy (quite expensive tho), because here they just give out meds and let you sink or swim, so therapy and meds are separate. Reading all the books about anxiety, CBT and what not haven't helped me. I know having a job would fix me, but, I am sick of hundred of refusals...it don't help the confidence much.

What am I experiencing here? I don't feel depressed (I have been there before.) I feel ashamed of being unemployed for so long and my anxiety is at levels I have never ever known.

Would you tell your doctor you are not taking your Prozac if you were me? I can't smoke pot as it sends me paranoid as hell, so, that's off the table.

I don't exercise because I am so ashamed of being in public, because if I leave the house, I feel like I am spending money that isn't mine. I just lie around all day, trying not to go crazy and end up watching YouTube instead of doing anything proactive to help my situation.

What would you guys suggest I do?

Any advice would really help.

Thank you.

Hi Masa,

I am happy that you are part of the Bluelight community and that you came forward and shared your difficult struggles. I have been unemployed lately and the job-application process has been difficult for me as well. I also have been suffering from treatment resistant depression and extreme anxiety lately caused by my current job situation. The thing about SSRIs (Prozac) is that if they were working for a while they can stop working and then people try other antidepressants and hope to find one that is effective whether one even exists for that individual or not. I have recently volunteered with an organization and I was then able to use them as recent work experience and obtain a good reference from them while applying for jobs. Employers generally want to see recent work experience. Volunteering allowed me to stop stirring in my mind all day at home as well. I will be starting CBT with a Dr. starting next week to try to stop my default negative thoughts and constant worrying and over-analysis of every possible situation in my life. I may share my CBT experience once I start it and share my experiences on Bluelight. I usually never tell my Doctors news that will rock the boat. I prefer looking out for my own long-term medical self-interests. I have tried pretty much every antidepressant and have discovered that I get many of the negative side-effects without any of the positives and so I don’t take them simply because they don’t help me. I hope you find your path and achieve happiness which one should remember is relative and different for everyone. Peace.

 

[Masa]

Hi Masa,

I am happy that you are part of the Bluelight community and that you came forward and shared your difficult struggles. I have been unemployed lately and the job-application process has been difficult for me as well. I also have been suffering from treatment resistant depression and extreme anxiety lately caused by my current job situation. The thing about SSRIs (Prozac) is that if they were working for a while they can stop working and then people try other antidepressants and hope to find one that is effective whether one even exists for that individual or not. I have recently volunteered with an organization and I was then able to use them as recent work experience and obtain a good reference from them while applying for jobs. Employers generally want to see recent work experience. Volunteering allowed me to stop stirring in my mind all day at home as well. I will be starting CBT with a Dr. starting next week to try to stop my default negative thoughts and constant worrying and over-analysis of every possible situation in my life. I may share my CBT experience once I start it and share my experiences on Bluelight. I usually never tell my Doctors news that will rock the boat. I prefer looking out for my own long-term medical self-interests. I have tried pretty much every antidepressant and have discovered that I get many of the negative side-effects without any of the positives and so I don’t take them simply because they don’t help me. I hope you find your path and achieve happiness which one should remember is relative and different for everyone. Peace.

Thank you for your kind words.

I can relate to what you have been going through. I hope that CBT goes well for you. I tried doing it by myself, but the book is just too thick and I can't concentrate on it now. I will try when my brain balances a bit from my new self-imposed Clonazepam dosing schedule. I can't read too well now. I keep getting intrusive thoughts...combo of recent traumas and less clonazepam in my blood. Everything, especially my synapses feel RAW as hell

I think you are very correct when you say everyone's way will be different. Hopefully we can all find our way. That's what I really hope for everyone; not just myself.

Given everyone is so different, that's why I don't want to pop prozac, seeing how it is used to treat so many different disorders. That just don't make sense to me. So I gotta just bear it I guess. I've oly been at this for a couple weeks now, so still early stages. I guess I am lucky that I never tried any other substances than benzos and Prozac. I know of people who are on something different every month...breaks my heart...

I am really fighting to face my problems without anything for what feels like the first time in my life (older than 40 now and I feel like a child...I used to be very successful despite my anxiety. I was so successful in my field that I was targeted and fucked out of my last job. Hard to get over that...but I will have to find a way to move forward.) Anyway, my area of specialty is no longer needed like it was before (thus awful pay and mass anger) due to advances in technology and it has taken me 7 years to accept I am not the guy I used to be. Reality sucks. Realizing it applies to me too sucks even worse I guess is the problem I face now. I am still trying to accept I am just an unsuccessful person who had some bad shit happen to me (when I was successful). All I know is that I just can't keep getting around on massive amounts of Prozac. In fact, I am kinda pissed off I took Prozac the last seven years, because once I stopped taking it 6 months ago and felt less numb, reality presented itself to me and now I am taking the initial steps to accept it and work with it.

I look forward to your future posts if you do feel like sharing your experinces and hope that you keep on getting better.

Stay well and safe!

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Hey

I don't think your doctor would be against you taking your prozac, though it might be unadvised. I always try to opt for what is advised. Ask him and get a sense of how comfortable he is with that. Then do what he says. It's a hard thing, but he is the doc.

Prozac is really good for anxiety and depression, in my opinion. I don't think that he would be against your comfort in taking klonopin. It's long-acting for a reason. Many people take it at night. Others feel that 2-4 doses per day are better. Should be fine, but I would ask just in case.

Maybe you meant 20mg Prozac? 2mg is such a tiny dose.

By 800g, I'm sure you mean 800mg, right? That's not too ridiculous of a dose. Coffee is very safe. But I'd try to keep it at 400mg if possible.

Epilepsy in the family itself seems a decent reason to take klonopin, in my opinion (again, lol). Definitely isn't good to be chainging things every month. The brain is only so durable, right?

Lots of smart people long for the past. It seems to be so nice of place. But, in the past, we all had issues. And the future is wide open! From my perspective, meds are meant to allow us to make positive habits. Whether we need them for the long-term or not. Thanks for posting, though. We are happy to help your brainstorm.

 

[Masa]

Hey

I don't think your doctor would be against you taking your prozac, though it might be unadvised. I always try to opt for what is advised. Ask him and get a sense of how comfortable he is with that. Then do what he says. It's a hard thing, but he is the doc.

Prozac is really good for anxiety and depression, in my opinion. I don't think that he would be against your comfort in taking klonopin. It's long-acting for a reason. Many people take it at night. Others feel that 2-4 doses per day are better. Should be fine, but I would ask just in case.

Maybe you meant 20mg Prozac? 2mg is such a tiny dose.

By 800g, I'm sure you mean 800mg, right? That's not too ridiculous of a dose. Coffee is very safe. But I'd try to keep it at 400mg if possible.

Epilepsy in the family itself seems a decent reason to take klonopin, in my opinion (again, lol). Definitely isn't good to be chainging things every month. The brain is only so durable, right?

Lots of smart people long for the past. It seems to be so nice of place. But, in the past, we all had issues. And the future is wide open! From my perspective, meds are meant to allow us to make positive habits. Whether we need them for the long-term or not. Thanks for posting, though. We are happy to help your brainstorm.

Thanks four your reply!

Yes, I did mean 800mg and 20mg. That's me losing my mental facilities. At 40...wtf

I have had an AWFUL night. I execrsised yesterday morning, then took 4 0.5 mg pills yesterday at a specific time, morning, 6 am midday, nighttime and before bed at 10 pm. However, I don't think I actually entered real sleep, at all. I instead just had a bunch of the weirdest nightmares (so some sort sleep) and at 3 am, I woke with the morning anxiety. The sick stomach. It was so bad. I waited until 4 am and took a 0.5 mg with a banana and then tried to keep sleeping and all that happened was the nightmares got weirder. So at 5 am I took another 0.5mg, I did feel a little better within an hour, but when I kept trying to sleep, I was having even worse nightmare and intrusive thoughts. So, I am up now, hardly any sleep and feel terrified. I really don't wanna go out to exercise...I am thinking of taking maybe just one Prozac tablet and see what happens. I can't go on like this. Only a few week ago, when I didn't take my clonazepam as prescribed i.e. I took all 4 tabs in the morning, I never got morning anxiety and could always sleep...after kicking coffee and cigarettes and excercising, now I can't even sleep...I still believe it was the major stressor a few weeks back. I can't share what it was here.

 

[Masa]

I still went out for exercise. What an awful night...

I really think going from 2mg (4x 0.5 mg) in the morning to 0.5mg 4 times per day, quitting 800 mg of coffee (loads of that great stress horome coristol) throughout the day to zero caffeine, quitting a 2 pack per day cigarette habit cold turkey (shock to dopamine receptors) is seriously messing with me...my brain doesn't know how to function...hopefully it goes away. I quit the coffee and cigarettes because I know they are bad for anxiety. I also started exercising because I have read research about it's link to reducing to anxiety. I even started yoga (from YouTube videos) out of desperation...I will give myself a month and see how I am on this regime. If I don't improve, I will be starting with 10mg or 20mg of the 40mg of Prozac already prescribed to me. I can't live like this...

 

[Masa]

Sounds like you're trying to do too much at once

I can't imagine trying to quit caffeine and nicotine at the same time, let alone dealing with benzos and SSRIs

Have you considered 0.5mg Clonazepam 3 times daily? IME it takes about 8 hours for a dose to wear off. So you could try taking 0.5mg upon waking, 0.5mg 8-9 hours later, then another 0.5mg at bedtime. If you don't want to do that, pick something else and work on getting off it completely before moving on to the next thing. Personally I would start with the coffee. It might be worth it to try tapering off using caffeine pills.

Thank you for your reply!

I took 2 x 0.5mg at 2.30 am this morning and nothing else until now, 15 hours later. I feel way more normal than I did all of last week and I feel nothing like when I was asleep last night. Getting scared now, as I will be sleeping in about 4 hours...I don't wanna experience those nightmares and that anxiety on waking up...

I won't be going back to the coffee or smokes, but I think cutting down to one 0.5 mg tablet in the mornings as opposed to 4 x 0.5mg like I have done for almost a decade was way too much too quick.

I've been off coffee for 12 days now. Surely the withdrawal symptoms would have gone away by now...I dunno...was drinking it like water for years...

 

[Opi_Kid_Rock]

Thank you for your reply!

I took 2 x 0.5mg at 2.30 am this morning and nothing else until now, 15 hours later. I feel way more normal than I did all of last week and I feel nothing like when I was asleep last night. Getting scared now, as I will be sleeping in about 4 hours...I don't wanna experience those nightmares and that anxiety on waking up...

I won't be going back to the coffee or smokes, but I think cutting down to one 0.5 mg tablet in the mornings as opposed to 4 x 0.5mg like I have done for almost a decade was way too much too quick.

I've been off coffee for 12 days now. Surely the withdrawal symptoms would have gone away by now...I dunno...was drinking it like water for years...

Masa, are you experiencing the nightmares and trouble sleeping from trauma of some kind?

 

[Masa]

Masa, are you experiencing the nightmares and trouble sleeping from trauma

I believe I am.

I just cant share what it is here or I would be giving too much about who I am away. Part of it is long-term structural unemployment and no other jobs, not even volunteer stuff, trust me, I have tried. The second part, I really don't wanna talk about, otherwise I would potentially be letting people know who I am. It wasn't COVID. It is a direct threat to my life though, much more so than unemployment.

I just gave up on sleep. I tried sleeping at 11 to no avail and then midnight, also to no avail, still wide awake. I finally got a bit of sleep for maybe 1 hour at some time after that, was only half asleep, but at 5 am, I was so feeling sick and having inrusive thoughs about unemployment and the other stressor and got up at 6 am and took 2 x 0.5 mg clonazepam. I slept for one hour and I am now wide awake with another bleak day ahead of me...same as yesterday really...

Yesterday I felt fine after my initial morning anxiety had gone (I researched things and found that coristol levels are higher in the early morning hours and then they drop considerably). Anyway, I expect the same thing today.

NOTE: I was NEVER like this before the most recent stressor (not unemployment) and switching with the dosing schedule of clonazepam (same dose, just now taken closer to how it was prescribed).

I ain't going out to exercise today. Will take the day off.

What do you think is going on here? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. (Still haven't taken Prozac yet btw)

 

[Opi_Kid_Rock]

I was traumatized and still am suffering from the trauma as well. I feel for you. I cannot sleep without my prescribed Quentiapine 8mg. I used to be on higher doses of Quentiapine immediately after the trauma. The same I could not sleep with the nightmares and intrusive thoughts. Any accessible counselling or CBT resources where you live?

 

[Masa]

I was traumatized and still am suffering from the trauma as well. I feel for you. I cannot sleep without my prescribed Quentiapine 8mg. I used to be on higher doses of Quentiapine immediately after the trauma. The same I could not sleep with the nightmares and intrusive thoughts. Any accessible counselling or CBT resources where you live?

I am really sorry to hear you have been suffering from trauma.

I only started to consider the possibility of my symptoms being trauma a few days ago, so I don't even really know what trauma and its symptoms are.

However, the trauma I experienced made me want to get healthier and live life more fully (because I realized how fragile life is. Again, it was not a COVID thing or a death in the family.) That's why I started taking pills as prescribed and stopping coffee and cigarettes, doing exercise and even doing yoga along to some person in lycra's YouTube videos...(can't believe I am doing yoga...I must be really desperate......)

There is hourly CBT available here for a high price, zero counseling though...I have a book on CBT, but it is so big and thick, I feel hopeless every time I try to look at it and just give up.

I have slept a total of maybe 3 hrs the last 3 days (only half sleep tho, not full sleep). I know that is insomnia, but is it really trauma? I've NEVER had a sleeping problem before...I also don't feel tired at all...I feel alert...despite no coffee, cigarettes, a more spread out dose of clonazepam and exercise. (I initially thought it was the exercise making me more alert or something like that)

I also don't think taking my beds as prescribed (4 x 0.5mg per day (total 2mg) as opposed to 4x 0.5 for a total of 2mg in the morning in one go and that's it until the next morning) could cause flashback nightmares and sudden onset of morning anxiety (massive coristol release around 5 am in the morning for the last few days...) Info I found shows that is precisely the time when ppl with anxiety disorders, which I was originally diagnosed with BEFORE the trauma, experience "morning anxiety."

I didn't exercise today...not in the mood...I really forced myself the last 5 days, but today...I just feel lke f$%^ it...I dunno, maybe I pushed it a bit too much...