Clippers and recreational users? At the end of the line, need advice and help.

[Moonlitskies09]

I've mentioned this a few times but for the sake of clarity, I've been using IV heroin recreationally for about six years. I went through a daily use phase a few years ago that lasted about three months, never have had a real tolerance. I always bought a cap and would use half for me and share half with my friend in those days and she ended up in rehab, and I got sober and continued on just fine.

Opiates have lost a lot of their magic. I still get very high when I use but now that I'm living alone I just don't enjoy them the same way, I used once in the past nine months because I haven't enjoyed it. There's nobody else like me that I know, so many are in AA begging God for help... Heroin is sad and lonely without someone to use with, and I don't like to be around people that try to push me to get high all the time, it's too sad to see them hurt like that.

I'm looking for anyone's advice on anything they went through after long term, occassional use. A lot of my friends are dead or otherwise out of the picture. I'm the only one that made it so far without it ruining my life. I lost my closest friend, she hates me now and blames me for her addiction. I miss her a lot more than I used to like herion. Everything about drugs feels toxic now. I feel like I wish I'd have overdosed and never had to see the people I love get hurt.

 

[mrgg]

Koi

 

[Runningfox]

Hi
My name is Mandy.

I'm sorry to learn you're feeling so low and so isolated. I think it's a common thing --- when a person gets clean their entire life undergoes an upheaval - a total 180 degree turn-around and nothing is the same. ..... and yes regardless of the circumstances we will always miss those we loved whom we've lost somewhere along the way.

I say it alot around the forums : Life is change and Growth. Both can be awfully painful; please try reminding yourself of all the reasons you wanted Out of the substance -abusing lifestyle. Find ways to push yourself forward in daily activities, self care, work or hobbies... do you have Family that's still connected / involved in your life?

If not you may wanna try meeting new people . Join support groups perhaps or take a class in an area you've always been curious about.

I'm not sure whether you stated your age; you did say you're living alone. Perhaps you are Too isolated. (I go thru this sometimes too).

My best advice is force yourself to keep making healthy steps forward. Think hard about WHY you got clean. Figure out what you want outta life..... and set those goals that were absolutely impossible while you were using.

Give yourself some credit for how far you've come. Let yourself be proud of the good decisions you've made. Use this time alone to Create in your mind's eye, the Life you would LOVE to have. Then start lookin at how to make that life a reality.

Keep posting !!