Clean for 45 Days but Still Feel Icky with Skin Crawling Does This End?

[FordRiverFailed]

As the title says, I'm 45 days off of Suboxone. I did a proper Dr. guided taper, but the last month of it the police confiscated my legal and prescribed medication because, in their own words, "You're a worthless junky, go be sick at home", and instead they took me to jail anyway. I digress.

So after this amount of time, most of my major symptoms are gone. I still have a bit of diarrhea (gross I know) which I take care of with Loperamide HCL. What I'm most troubled by is the fact that I still feel cold outside and inside even if it's 73 degrees and sunny. My skin also feels like it's crawling with physical goose bumps on my body almost all the time.

Edit: The question: About how long until I feel like 80%? I know there is no REAL way to know, but I'm sure many of you have been where I am.

Right now, my psychiatrist, being the saint he is, gave me a good bit of clonazepam since he heard what happened. This does help the anxiety, the reason I self medicated in the first place, but it does little for the other symptoms. If anyone wants to know what meds I took when withdrawing, just ask and I'll list out my plan. One word, Neurotin. It's Gabapentin and it stops the restless legs (riding the invisible bicycle), a good deal of muscle pain, and does not have any indication for causing addiction so Doctors are normally fine with it. That combined with a benzo, in my opinion, is as comfortable as your going to get.

Cheers everyone,
Soma Coma aka FordRiverFailed

 

[herbavore]

You should take a lot of pride in what you have done so far. I'm really glads to hear that you have a trusted psychiatrist that has your back. I can't offer any insight into how long you will suffer these last physical symptoms but I can offer a way to think about them that may help: recognize that these are the last vestiges of withdrawal and relish your conquest over dependence. Kind of like jeering at the enemy as he retreats defeated but still slinging arrows at the castle walls. Also a more practical thing that comes to mind is hot baths with epsom salts. The epsom salts (from any drugstore) keep the water at the same ph as your skin so you can soak for a long time. This will warm your core and also relax your muscles. When you get out, put some kind of lotion on that feels soothing.

 

[FordRiverFailed]

Thank you so much for that inspiration. I do not plan to ever go back, I fought too hard and too long, but I am taking your advice right now. Epsom salt bath, yoga, stretching, and a good walk are what I'm heading to do now. Thanks herbavore, long time bluelighter, I know you are worthy of respect and you most certainly have mine.

 

[FordRiverFailed]

I just got down with an Epsom soak and found some good lotion, just like you said, and thank you. My symptoms have subsided for now, and I do mean totally. I feel like I never got addicted at all right now, and that's been becoming more the norm each day. I'd like to thank you for what you do and send a message to those out there suffering. If I can do it, you can do it. Simple cliche I know, but no less true.

recognize that these are the last vestiges of withdrawal and relish your conquest over dependence. Kind of like jeering at the enemy as he retreats defeated but still slinging arrows at the castle walls.

herbavore you could not have said it better. I'm a warrior. We all are, and that's precisely how we should look at it. I could not do traditional 12 step treatment because I'm an atheist and I cannot accept a higher power, so this view works for me, thanks.

 

[FordRiverFailed]

Still hanging in there herbavore, and it's been slowly getting better. I have some bad days and good ones, but the bad ones are easier and less frequent each day that goes by. I hope I don't sound like a total cocky jerk, but I'm so thrilled. I've never made it this far. I've only ever gone like 10-14 days and given up, but that was also without a Doctor approved taper with a psychiatrist and a psychologist working all together. Thanks for your kind words and brilliant analogy (metaphore?), haha damn I'm a Spanish Lit major I should know better. Anyway, hope all is well.

Cheers,
FRF

 

[herbavore]

You do NOT sound like a cocky jerk and you have every right to feel both energized and proud of what you have accomplished. Life gets so much easier when you gain that perspective that some days will be shitty--but they are transient and they pass just like the good days do. Addiction thrives on black and white thinking and fatalism so that when you experience pain or discomfort you think, "See? Nothing will ever really change. I will always feel this pain." But what if we reversed that logic and every time we had a good moment or hour or day or week we said, "See? Nothing is ever going to change. I'll always have these good times." Neither one makes sense because everything changes, everything passes. But it is a funny thought experiment.

I'm so happy for you that you are feeling good. Have any recommendations from your field of study? I love the Spanish language though I'm not at all fluent but I'd love some titles (translations) if you feel like sharing your favorites.