Opioids Clean for 4 years, prescribed opiates

[Zoetrope:]

I have been clean for four years - morphine, oxy, heroin, tramadol and whatever pills I could get my hands on. Been prescribed fucking vicodin for broken leg. I hate vicodin, it's worthless. I'm currently in a shitload of pain, haven't touched the script but there is no way I am not going to. It is calling out to me, I swear. I need a game plan. Take the script, get on methadone when it all goes wrong? Don't take the script and be in so much pain I can't function? I can't believe this happened. I have tried so hard. Back to orthopedic clinic on Monday. Why couldn't they give me at least something worth fucking up for! Might just flush it and have a drink. You would think this was worth at least oxy...

 

[Robi]

oh man, i feel for you, that sucks big green beans, they wont give out hardly anything in cali for pain(unless super rich it seems) friend was in dire pain and they dish out tramadol, it didnt do much for me with pain when i had imbolization and minor pain, but boy howdy did it help with withdrawls off fent for some reason, you need an ear or vent , feel free to reach out, so sorry about your injury, i never broke anything except a few hearts, so wish the best for you thru this F`d up chit and welcome to BL i hope and know you will get good advice, im fighting taking xanax big time bad, so i feel for you

 

[Las Veghost grower]

Takes slot of will power to not take those pills man, especially since you pretty much have a socially/legitimately acceptable reason to take them, I think most would have already CWEd the whole bottle, sorry I don’t have and advice but maybe ibuprofen, good luck stay strong

 

[SoCalShordie]

I have been clean for four years - morphine, oxy, heroin, tramadol and whatever pills I could get my hands on. Been prescribed fucking vicodin for broken leg. I hate vicodin, it's worthless. I'm currently in a shitload of pain, haven't touched the script but there is no way I am not going to. It is calling out to me, I swear. I need a game plan. Take the script, get on methadone when it all goes wrong? Don't take the script and be in so much pain I can't function? I can't believe this happened. I have tried so hard. Back to orthopedic clinic on Monday. Why couldn't they give me at least something worth fucking up for! Might just flush it and have a drink. You would think this was worth at least oxy...

Hey there, first off I’m so sorry you’re in pain! I’m always wanting to help anyone going thru this situation, as I was in the exact same predicament. Long story short, I had broken my back and had surgery when I almost died in a car crash about a year ago. I was an IV heroin user who had been clean for 3 years at that time. Basically the hospital didn’t give me any kind of pain killers when released from hospital even tho I couldn’t even fucking walk yet. I was in an extreme, mind altering state of pain. I was on methadone at the time and relapsing never even crossed my mind before this incident. I folded and tried to cop some H or even just some oxy or norco. The pain was too much. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything except fent. Fent wasn’t available when I was using so I really didn’t know the dangers. Ended up overdosing. Point being, there’s so much fent laced work on the streets now I think it would be so dangerous to risk a relapse. To be completely honest, I’ve been drinking a little Hennessy whenever my back pain gets too bad and it’s the only thing that helps. I’d say either take the vikes or have a drink (or two). Please be safe whatever you decide

 

[negrogesic]

Where does methadone come into the equation?

A script for a broken leg is finite, it'll only be a short period. Maybe 90-160 pills maximum will be prescribed for this purpose. If you need it you need it. If you feel withdrawal after I'd recommend switching to kratom and tapering off.

If you don't need it then just use ibuprofen.

 

[Zoetrope:]

If I take these pills, I will relapse. 100 percent. The methadone is my game plan for if I relapse. I really just wanted to be clean, not on maintenance, as I just don't trust myself at all. All or nothing. The nurse suggested I also take ibruprofen, for some reason it made me intensely angry that she suggested even more worthless pills, it was like a slap in the face on top of the fucking broken leg. It won't do anything. I refused surgery, because I figured at that point I would not be able to tough it out. I am really not capable of taking these for a short amount of time in the correct dose. I am not scared of withdrawals from them, I am scared Ill end up with a huge fent problem after I run through the script in a week, and....well you know the rest.
This is so fucked up. I can't afford this on so many levels.

 

[Zoetrope:]

@SoCalShordie I am so sorry to hear about your accident, that sounds so painful. How are you doing now? So glad you made it through all of that. I am up on the 3rd floor of an apartment building with no elevator and no one who could carry me up. I thought I was gonna pass out. I guess I am not going out for a while...At least someone can bring me food.

 

[Zoetrope:]

Takes slot of will power to not take those pills man, especially since you pretty much have a socially/legitimately acceptable reason to take them, I think most would have already CWEd the whole bottle, sorry I don’t have and advice but maybe ibuprofen, good luck stay strong

Hey....yeah...I haven't slept at all and been struggling with this all night. I know it isn't just this bottle - I don't really care what society thinks, it is more that I know if I do this, I will be back out there, and addicted to fentadope in a week. I think it would kill me this time around. I don't really want to die.

 

[MsDiz]

A broken leg is sore but if you stick with it for a while it won’t be as bad as it is now and you will be able to manage without the script.

Get yourself some paracetamol and ibuprofen and use them interchangeably. Naproxen is a bit stronger which you could take instead of the ibuprofen.

Good hydration and nutrition will definitely help the healing process.

Just accepting your going to have pain and that it’s going to be hard but you will get through it does help too! Distraction helps a lot also, read a book, watch movies etc etc.

You know yourself best, if using the pills will cause you to relapse and end your sobriety then don’t take those pills. I’m sure the pain of withdrawal from fent mentally and physically is much worse than your broken leg.

I do hope you heal up soon, be kind to yourself but throw that script out.

 

[negrogesic]

If I take these pills, I will relapse. 100 percent. The methadone is my game plan for if I relapse. I really just wanted to be clean, not on maintenance, as I just don't trust myself at all. All or nothing. The nurse suggested I also take ibruprofen, for some reason it made me intensely angry that she suggested even more worthless pills, it was like a slap in the face on top of the fucking broken leg. It won't do anything. I refused surgery, because I figured at that point I would not be able to tough it out. I am really not capable of taking these for a short amount of time in the correct dose. I am not scared of withdrawals from them, I am scared Ill end up with a huge fent problem after I run through the script in a week, and....well you know the rest.
This is so fucked up. I can't afford this on so many levels.

I get it. I always feared a similar situation. I was once on 380mg/day of methadone ontop of which i managed to have a heroin habit and at a later point, a 16.8mg/day IV fentanyl habit. Yet now, aside from occasional light oral use, I am pretty much opioid free.

Thus I've always worried, what happens if I get into a car accident and need surgery? Will i get instantly readdicted to opioids? The answer is yes. But I think the addiction would be mostly physical. I would definitely need some landing gear, like a kratom taper. Or perhaps even buprenorphine.

If you need surgery you need surgery. Not alot of things that require surgery can he avoided. You don't want things to heal wrong, otherwise you might wind up with some chronic pain issue that will require being on opioids indefinitely. Where is the fracture? How did the fracture occur?

 

[Zoetrope:]

Im a brat. I would rather sit here in pain of than take ibruprofen or other worthless 'painkillers' that won't touch this. The knee on my other leg is sprained. Lol, MsDiz you are doing a fine job of persuading just to take the damn vicodin and to hell with it. Doctors with their 'we all have pain' make me so angry. I am sure you live with pain, MsDiz, you seem to know what you are talking about, but respectfully you have no idea just how far beyond 'sore' this is!

 

[Trying123]

Feel terrible for you. I'm not as bad, just bad knees, pain in back, too many years of abuse. But I folded, and regret it. Finally got clea, after 20 yrs on H, made it 1 year, and used again.
Fentanyl is the only thing around, and it does nothing for me. Now, I'm trying g to get back on bupes, and having a hard time.
I give you so much credit for not taking the vics, we all know they won't do anything for us.
I'm gonna keep a watch on this, hopefully learn something for myself.
Sorry, can't give much advice, just nutrition, and natural pain relief, is my only thought. I've been searching myself.
Wish you the best.

 

[Zoetrope:]

I get it. I always feared a similar situation. I was once on 380mg/day of methadone ontop of which i managed to have a heroin habit and at a later point, a 16.8mg/day IV fentanyl habit. Yet now, aside from occasional light oral use, I am pretty much opioid free.

Thus I've always worried, what happens if I get into a car accident and need surgery? Will i get instantly readdicted to opioids? The answer is yes. But I think the addiction would be mostly physical. I would definitely need some landing gear, like a kratom taper. Or perhaps even buprenorphine.

If you need surgery you need surgery. Not alot of things that require surgery can he avoided. You don't want things to heal wrong, otherwise you might wind up with some chronic pain issue that will require being on opioids indefinitely. Where is the fracture? How did the fracture occur?

Mid tib/fib. Knees fucked up both legs (yeah that is the medical term - Im holding out on paying for more xrays) both sides, the right one is worse today than yesterday, pain-wise. I'm dreading getting to the orthopedic clinic and dreading the bill.

So much respect negrogesic, to come from there to where you are now...

I don't think I can afford surgery - not the time, not financially, just not at all.
I won't pretend that I can tough it out and just take the pills- it won't just be physical. I like getting high and Im not ashamed of it. It solves mental pain. I have had a lot of loss of loved ones over the past few years.

 

[Zoetrope:]

Feel terrible for you. I'm not as bad, just bad knees, pain in back, too many years of abuse. But I folded, and regret it. Finally got clea, after 20 yrs on H, made it 1 year, and used again.
Fentanyl is the only thing around, and it does nothing for me. Now, I'm trying g to get back on bupes, and having a hard time.
I give you so much credit for not taking the vics, we all know they won't do anything for us.
I'm gonna keep a watch on this, hopefully learn something for myself.
Sorry, can't give much advice, just nutrition, and natural pain relief, is my only thought. I've been searching myself.
Wish you the best.

Hey trying123, sorry to hear about your troubles. I hear you about the fent, I hate it. Wishing you the best too. I have some weed that isn't too old. Gotta be better than nothing. It will be ok. It has to be, huh...

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

If I take these pills, I will relapse. 100 percent. The methadone is my game plan for if I relapse. I really just wanted to be clean, not on maintenance, as I just don't trust myself at all. All or nothing. The nurse suggested I also take ibruprofen, for some reason it made me intensely angry that she suggested even more worthless pills, it was like a slap in the face on top of the fucking broken leg. It won't do anything. I refused surgery, because I figured at that point I would not be able to tough it out. I am really not capable of taking these for a short amount of time in the correct dose. I am not scared of withdrawals from them, I am scared Ill end up with a huge fent problem after I run through the script in a week, and....well you know the rest.
This is so fucked up. I can't afford this on so many levels.

Ok with that expectation already set in your mind, there's only one predictable way this is going.
It's not the bloody pills themselves that ll "make you relapse 100%", what' ll do that sure as night follows day is your self - defeating 100% CONVICTION that they will.

If you were looking for absolutely nothing but legit pain relief there's no reason why you wouldn't just take your opiate pills as prescribed and simply stop them when no longer needed. However you yourself are saying you got a liking for the stuff beyond its medicinal use - if that wasn't the case then those pills wouldn't present any temptation to you.

As it is, well, if you've been used to opiates usual painkillers won't really do much for ya. A few stiff drinks help but obviously that's not a long - term strategy unless you wanna be permanently sloshed. Lots of people with severe pain get great results from medical marijuana, ever given that a go? Like prescription at set doses? (If you can legally get that where you live of course..)

PS I was a dependent heroin user, and still use on the regular now, but without dependency. I also don't guilt - trip myself over the fact that I just like getting high on that shit. However when I've been dosed up with opiate painkillers for medical reasons, I was perfectly fine taking them exactly as prescribed, a therapeutic amount won't usually do more to me than just what it's supposed to, ie kill the pain, and it didn't send me running back to a full - blown habit. If you don't think you can do that then you likely can't.

So either stay away from the stuff completely, or if it has to be opiates for your pain, then yep you should go on something where your intake will be supervised and strictly measured, like methadone. I'm highly reluctant to recommend methadone to anyone because I am not at all a fan for various reasons, but in your specific situation it may be the more sensible option.

I've also heard about buprenorphine depot injections used for long - term pain relief ; ask your physician about this.

 

[Zoetrope:]

Ok with that expectation already set in your mind, there's only one predictable way this is going.
It's not the bloody pills themselves that ll "make you relapse 100%", what' ll do that sure as night follows day is your self - defeating 100% CONVICTION that they will.

If you were looking for absolutely nothing but legit pain relief there's no reason why you wouldn't just take your opiate pills as prescribed and simply stop them when no longer needed. However you yourself are saying you got a liking for the stuff beyond its medicinal use - if that wasn't the case then those pills wouldn't present any temptation to you.

As it is, well, if you've been used to opiates usual painkillers won't really do much for ya. A few stiff drinks help but obviously that's not a long - term strategy unless you wanna be permanently sloshed. Lots of people with severe pain get great results from medical marijuana, ever given that a go? Like prescription at set doses? (If you can legally get that where you live of course..)

PS I was a dependent heroin user, and still use on the regular now, but without dependency. I also don't guilt - trip myself over the fact that I just like getting high on that shit. However when I've been dosed up with opiate painkillers for medical reasons, I was perfectly fine taking them exactly as prescribed, a therapeutic amount won't usually do more to me than just what it's supposed to, ie kill the pain, and it didn't send me running back to a full - blown habit. If you don't think you can do that then you likely can't.

So either stay away from the stuff completely, or if it has to be opiates for your pain, then yep you should go on something where your intake will be supervised and strictly measured, like methadone. I'm highly reluctant to recommend methadone to anyone because I am not at all a fan for various reasons, but in your specific situation it may be the more sensible option.

Hey...are you suggesting i was pain pill seeking? Don't you think fucking up my leg like this was a bit far to go in that case? I mean a bad back usually suffices. Or a headache. Ya know...something not provable but painful.
I am a realist. I know myself, and whilst I am glad you have the self control of the Gods, my friend this is my absolute upper limit. Of course the pills are a temptation. I've been an addict for much of my life. I don't do shaming. Ill admit it, I am weak...but you know what, I have never met many strong people when it comes to opiates.
If I went into this blindly saying 'Oh shucks, I will be FINE' with absolutely no 'bracing for impact', the inevitable collision with addiction that will happen, I would be in shit. Denial of issues never did me any good.

 

[MsDiz]

Im a brat. I would rather sit here in pain of than take ibruprofen or other worthless 'painkillers' that won't touch this. The knee on my other leg is sprained. Lol, MsDiz you are doing a fine job of persuading just to take the damn vicodin and to hell with it. Doctors with their 'we all have pain' make me so angry. I am sure you live with pain, MsDiz, you seem to know what you are talking about, but respectfully you have no idea just how far beyond 'sore' this is!

I do live with pain, every single day. I dislocate most of my joints, several times a day. Currently when I dislocate my collar bone I can throw up for hours due to the pain.

At the end of the day what’s more important to you? Being out of pain for a short amount of time or staying sober? Only you can answer that and if you want this as an out and excuse to relapse then that’s your choice.

I think being sober for years is a massive accomplishment and not one to throw away over a broken leg. You’re clearly a strong person or you wouldn’t have stayed sober. Just funnel that strength into dealing with this very temporary pain.

Also, just to add, paracetamol and a good NSAID is nothing to scoff at. They act in completely different ways to opioids so yeah, they are a good shout. Sometimes, in fact, for people who’ve had an opioid habit they work much better.

 

[Zoetrope:]

I do live with pain, every single day. I dislocate most of my joints, several times a day. Currently when I dislocate my collar bone I can throw up for hours due to the pain.

At the end of the day what’s more important to you? Being out of pain for a short amount of time or staying sober? Only you can answer that and if you want this as an out and excuse to relapse then that’s your choice.

I think being sober for years is a massive accomplishment and not one to throw away over a broken leg. You’re clearly a strong person or you wouldn’t have stayed sober. Just funnel that strength into dealing with this very temporary pain.

Also, just to add, paracetamol and a good NSAID is nothing to scoff at. They act in completely different ways to opioids so yeah, they are a good shout. Sometimes, in fact, for people who’ve had an opioid habit they work much better.

Im sorry to hear that MsDiz, but your attitude is really not helping me.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Hey...are you suggesting i was pain pill seeking? Don't you think fucking up my leg like this was a bit far to go in that case? I mean a bad back usually suffices. Or a headache. Ya know...something not provable but painful.
I am a realist. I know myself, and whilst I am glad you have the self control of the Gods, my friend this is my absolute upper limit. Of course the pills are a temptation. I've been an addict for much of my life. I don't do shaming. Ill admit it, I am weak...but you know what, I have never met many strong people when it comes to opiates.
If I went into this blindly saying 'Oh shucks, I will be FINE' with absolutely no 'bracing for impact', the inevitable collision with addiction that will happen, I would be in shit. Denial of issues never did me any good.

Nope, I was not suggesting anything of the sort. WHERE did I say you were 'pain pill seeking' -?
I merely reiterated what you said yourself, that you obviously weren't trusting yourself with them. So please don't twist the words in my mouth when I'm just attempting to be helpful.

Also HAHA I do decidedly NOT have 'the self control of the gods'.
I'm impulsive and emotionally unstable and instant - gratification - seeking. The classic so - called 'addictive personality' if you will.

... Believe it or not but 'self control' doesn't even come into it as far as I'm concerned. Nor do I regard myself as in the SLIGHTEST sense 'better' than you, which is how you appear to be interpreting me. And I'm ALSO a fuckin realist.
I know how far I can tax myself.

Moderate users don't have superior amounts of this elusive quality, and heavy users do not lack it. When I was using several times a day I was doing exactly what I felt that I needed and therefore WANTED to do.
I never increased my self - control, willpower or whatever when I cut down my use. I found ways to lessen the want of it. Same result but totally different starting point.

 

[MsDiz]

Im sorry to hear that MsDiz, but your attitude is really not helping me.

My awful attitude of complimenting you on your 4 year sobriety whilst urging you not to ruin it over a mere broken leg?

Ok…

This is a harm reduction board, I don’t know what it is you’re seeking but you won’t find anyone encouraging you to relapse here.

Good luck with the leg.