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Meth Chronically dependent meth users of 5 years or more

jsinger

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2023
Messages
105
Anyone here with a significant addiction to meth and even after heavy use for 5 years or so didnt experience the whacky shit that effects others almost immediately thus confident in your ability to decipher the illusions you get from meth? Every illusion ive experienced on this drug I usally find the trigger or if not stll know in my head it’s the drug. Might get sketchy an hour or two hell maybe even a day but im dealing with a different animal now. Around December at work (maintenance at a privately owned service station) i started getting a very much more intense feeling of being watched and my usual response of its just the meth wasnt calming the anxiety down
Who i think is watching me is random public people at large which means even if it were true no major consequences would occur. It then became a problem outside of work bc my roommate hates drugs and meth more the rest and began feeling like she is watching me when Ill hear the door open or dogs bark if she were to go outside and peek my window. At work for the third day in a row it’s almost constant and i dont look any customers in the eye and I’m shaking, dropping shit basically that nervous feeling you get when you know your being watched by a boss. I tell myself it’s the meth, who cares if you are being watched nothing bad will happen but cannot snap the feeling. I am not sleep deprived and the quality of the dope has been relatively the same. Is this onset of psychosis or a passing issue or possibly rooted in another mental illness concern. I have extremely high anxiety And meth has usually helped my mood Albeit intensified the anxiety it’s just different.
I’ve asked to work during the night when the store is closed bc today was ridiculous
 
Yes it's pretty much the same for me, but it comes and goes.
As in the feeling a neighbor is watching me through the walls of the house or something. It's odd and new to me.

It's not happening of course and I do believe it's the "today's pure meth" that we are consuming.

Even tho at least for me, being more aware of the reasons why we shouldn't.

It's kinda the same feeling I remember taking acid as a teenager back in the 80s (yep, old). Now those were the good times.

But yeah, just like the crank back then(90s) followed by the crystal methamphetamine ice shards wtf ever you want to call it(2000s), too the so called "pure meth" the last 10 years is,,,
Things are not going to be the same across the board for everyone.

In the case of methamphetamine, some will be lost within a year and others it take several years.
But in the end, this shit will definitely win no matter what.

Even if you are lucky enough to brake the cycle of meth, it will always own a part of you.
For me I would be ok with that, if I just could get there already.
Sorry for the rant on you're thread
 
Yes it's pretty much the same for me, but it comes and goes.
As in the feeling a neighbor is watching me through the walls of the house or something. It's odd and new to me.

It's not happening of course and I do believe it's the "today's pure meth" that we are consuming.

Even tho at least for me, being more aware of the reasons why we shouldn't.

It's kinda the same feeling I remember taking acid as a teenager back in the 80s (yep, old). Now those were the good times.

But yeah, just like the crank back then(90s) followed by the crystal methamphetamine ice shards wtf ever you want to call it(2000s), too the so called "pure meth" the last 10 years is,,,
Things are not going to be the same across the board for everyone.

In the case of methamphetamine, some will be lost within a year and others it take several years.
But in the end, this shit will definitely win no matter what.

Even if you are lucky enough to brake the cycle of meth, it will always own a part of you.
For me I would be ok with that, if I just could get there already.
Sorry for the rant on you're thread
Appreciate the response and today was so much better and your riight with it coming and going. The pattern seems to be a bit more extreme each time it’s occuring and im pretty sure severe anxiety is the major factor driving me into addiction. So its a feeling I’ll experience sober but can shut the noise off.
I was clean off meth for close to two years with some slips in 2nd year but managed 14 months free and it took so long to even get out of the flight or fight stance and tourettes type shit thats hard to explain other tweaker things never stopped and I don’t know how to explain it.
The depression is real and I had a false hope bc after the first 6 weeks I was pink clouding it big time. I had made just shy 90 on a try and was a goal. Basically the volatile swings from stopping and going so often and the realization that my brain is dependent on it and will produce the correct thoughts to convince myself it’s better life. No matter what happens and I’ve overcome some very difficult challenges that ive ruminated and wallowed in depression for 25 years and without meth i dont count the huge win instead focus on my latest problems insecurities
I’m honestly ok with my life and I’ve grown alot during my methamphetamine years. Honestly it’s fucking wild kinda
 
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