i wonder if anyone relates to this: a large part of my issue with staying off heroin is that i'm such a control freak. i can be sober easily when i KNOW i have a treat in my purse for later, at least subs would satiate this obsession with control. but especially when i'm at my boyfriend's apartment in west town, the little asshole in my head is just like "blows, blows, blows, BLOWS." i always imagine like twelve versions of myself sitting around a dinner table chanting this shit, because that's how it feels.
anyone else relentlessly tempted by the sheer AVAILABILITY of heroin in chicago? it kills me just knowing, hey liz, it's there.
i have hardly any money so i'm not planning to go west today. i owe a friend some so i'm trying to save up some cash, hopefully by tomorrow, to properly hook him up.
stay noddin' in my honor.
-L