Prolonged human deep grieve : Huberman/ podcast #74
This is where neurologie starts when a family parts. In the beginning they catogarized 5 stages you went through (still valid but also updated) : denial, anger, negotiating, the empty why and acceptance. Some go through all, or some. And the order in which seemed random. But the original description still stands.
Grieve = physical pain. And stimulate's Dopamin, to get something done. But you can't so you body goes on hold/ pause.
Neurologically relationships have 3 dimension's ; wether it where bowling balls, sounds or family.
Space, time and closeness/ attachement, of all 3 are mapped in the same Inferrior Temporal Lobe. Lets assume science is right and all these are mapped in the same brain area. They don't remap themselves.
If your family situation changes, re-mapping is necessity.
As both time and place are no longer valid. Only the connection remain's, inc with your ex.
but according to science there is a minor default most have, inc me.
Most people attach more value on experiences then wisdom/ science and knowledge.
Another science mention don't ignore/ numb/ dissociate from the attachement you feel, its real.
Science on Guilt (putting the blame on ...) :
"The thought of having more influence and capability to control the reality, then we in reality have."
Denial is no option, neurologically impossible like showing your love any given time.
The tools they offer.
1. Don't push away/ numb your feelings as this is what they mean for you. But you have to abandon expectations.
2. Dis-connect the time and place. They get into it a bit how later on.
3. Experience the bond, but dodge all contra productive thoughts (putting the blaim on something/ one).
So experience it in the present, the closeness, with out pre-judgement.
But where to place it in space and time?
Trace Cells located in the Hippocampus and Ethorinal Cortex
They get active when when orientating and expetating. Somethingthat should be but aint there. Like when you displace your coffee and can't find in in the morning. And get active after loss of loved ones.
Why some experience this grief more then other's science also discovered, high Oxytocine levels in the Nucleus Accumbus- means deep bonding. And prolonged grief.
So the trace cells make you aware neurogically ... is not there.
"You never know what others feel, we often don't know our own"
Was a relevant scientific quote really fits this thread. But may also be usefulas it offers some insight in how our brains fool us.
Another thing they discovered was the role of dopamin/ nor-adrenalin and nor-epinefrine People with the highest levels of nor adrenaline and epinefrine. Had the highest scores on grief. So lowering these aggrivating/ stressing neurotransmitter's is necessary.
Adjustments at your own pace and watch for dissociating.
Vagus Nerve, training the Vagal Tone is what neurologie recommends.
As to bring the body back into homeostasis (your basic balanced normal state). Vagus nerve part of the Parasympathetic Nerve System PNS is the feedback to the brain, to stop the fligh-fight response set in motion by the Symphatetic Nerve System SNS.
Cannabis, which sadly is illegal in Texas, also promote's homeostasis. So that might explain your medical benefit's from it. Isn't it not even medically available?
Enough for today, but i advise you to look up some Vagul Nerve execises, some are easier then others, but doable.
But as far as i can remeber consists of breathing technique's, meditatation, some Hatha Yoga/ or Bhoedist T'ai Chi imo, excersize, PsychoMotoricTherapy, from the Yoga part/ one resembles EMDR like eye movement training, stimulating neuroplasticity (which is very individual so hard to give advise) but anything new or challeging sort of applies, diet, good gut bacteria, sleep hygeine and so on.
The vagus nerve is the biggest we have, its a both way highway, from the brain till your gut. If it not working properly all above gets scrambled. But is very plasticity (able to from new neuronal connections), so a let's give it a work out. Just started but I feel allready a bit calmer, and have just begun.
@Stephy
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