Can't stop abusing benzos and other prescription pills

[athanasia99]

About 3 days a week I have to take a large dosage of either Xanax or Klonopin. If I'm not really feeling it anymore I mix it with alcohol or weed or both. I'm still in school and it's starting to effect my everyday life. I want to stop so badly, but I also don't because I feel like this a part of who I am now. I'm stressed out constantly just trying to keep up with my work, my addiction, school, and all other responsibilities. I want to be in control, but I love the feeling of not being in control. I nearly OD'd this past Christmas Eve and I just want to be done, but for the life of me I can't. How can I get myself together when I'm not willing to lose something I love so much?

 

[w0w0mg]

You have to finally want to stop,
if not, you're going to burn bridges, trust me I know.
I was mixing xanax and alcohol in highschool and I ended up
getting kicked out of school.
This is where my whole vicious cycle began.
It's not worth it my friend, trust me.
Just please try to slow down or stop while you still can.
Cheers, mate. I hope you feel better.

 

[T. Calderone]

How can I get myself together when I'm not willing to lose something I love so much?

I agree with above poster. I think you know where this is heading but still liking it too much. You have to find motivation to stop using and it sounds like you're not there yet. Right now, you're using three days a week but before you know it this will become an every day thing. Don't let it go further because these drugs are hard to come off, especially at higher doses.