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can't have sex with a new guy unless i'm drunk.

Ms.Martini

Ms.Martini

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
197
Location
Ontario
the title says it all. can't have sex with a new guy unless i'm drunk for the first buncha times until i'm comfortable around them. it actually sucks. what the hell is wrong with me?
 
Insecurity. Whatever form that may manifest itself in whether it be physical insecurity in how you look, performance insecurity on how well you get down, emotional insecurity in what he may do or think afterwards, etc etc. It could be any one of em or a combo pack of many. The drinking lowers the inhibitions and personal insecurities so you can relax and let the primitive mind be pronounced more without the worry of sober human thoughts and reasoning.

I say try it once sober, but leading into the sex with an "I don't give a fuck" pre-loaded mentality. View him as there to pleasure you and KNOW he thinks you're the sexiest bit o woman he's been with. You have NO IDEA how sexy that makes things when the confidence in the air is so palpable you can smell it. When you're confident, you're comfortable. And when my women are confident and comfortable, i feel it and in turn it gets me more into the sex and you both end up feeding off each other into truly memorable sessions.

Let go woman. BE sexy and you won't need the booze to be "sexy" for you.
 
I'm not really sure about the rest but the first word certainly leapt to my mind also. I guess it also depends on how soon you bed the new guy. Maybe you have a good reason to be uncomfortable if you're being compulsive and that's not normal for you.
 
Wait drunk or just a cocktail to calm your nerves? I think most people are nervous on their first encounter with someone. You don't have to get drunk. Just take whatever calms your nerves a bit at a moderate level. Don't overdo it. Then you're just sloppy. Drunk drunk is for the second date (I keeeeed).
 
Yeah completely drunk or just a bit?
I can totally understand a drink, to calm yourself down (as Lysis said). But getting drunk is definitely too far.

Do you know why you get this way? Are you very insecure?
Is it for one night stands or guys that you're dating?
Maybe get to know the guy a bit better (sober) and not have sex as soon?
 
lol, pretty drunk. but not so drunk that i can't walk, or see, or function. just the right amount of drunk. i guess i'm pretty insecure, it's still a bitch though. and it's like that for one night stands and guys i've known for a long time. lol i don't know, :( i guess i think i'm just better drunk. better kisser, better at oral, etc. i'm definitely better at oral, i've been told many times.
 
Nearly every important step I've made in my relationships has involved indulging in a bit too much alcohol... from the first time having sex to drunkenly declaring "Let's move in together!"

I'm just going to have to lock something down while I'm still young... I'd never be able to handle dating as a functional adult.
 
well aint that a bitch. guess i gotta get over my low self esteem to get over it, but shit, that's way easier said than done.
 
This isn't uncommon at all. It's not really a big deal unless you feel it is. I can't remember the last time a first sexual encounter of mine with someone knew didn't involve alcohol.
 
^ heh

keep in mind also that when one drinks a couple strong drinks, one might lose most of their insecurity, but they usually aren't as smooth and all Don Juan as they think they are coming off...

trust me on this one, I'm a bar-tender. I've seen guys and ladies indulge and then throw themselves around recklessly, usually much to my chagrin. so just watch yourself, although I'm sure you are the exception to this rule ;)
 
lool! rakeone, caribou lous?
i find having sex while drunk is a lot more passionate too, as weird as that sounds, lmaooo.
 
As somebody else said insecurity, I would say inhibition. When you drink you tend to lose those inhibitions, just like in that Katy Perry video.
One way to deal with it is to realize that you can be that person who you are when you are drunk without actually having to drink.
Being drunk doesn't really make things better, but realizing that your inhibitions are of your own making and letting them go will.
 
151 rum
Pineapple juice, and Malibu, caribou, get them all numb
Make baby girl come
Out of her shell raise hell...

you see ? not unusual at all...
 
Hey I can relate today. Last night I consciously drank 2 beers and 1/2 oz of Jameson before having sex with someone for the first time.

Next time I'm going to try it with 2 beers.

What do you drink? Can you cut it down just 1 drink and do it again?
 
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Id try prolonging sex a bit longer until you feel more comfortable around the guy when sober. This way, you will be able to let your guard and inhibitions down and fully enjoy yourself. A lot of people dont realize that for women 50% of sex if mental and feeling comfortable is crucial for good sex. Its normal to be nervous the first time youre w someone new but not nervous to the point where you cant enjoy yourself w.o being drunk (although im sure everyone can relate to over drinking to calm nerves at some point). Give it more time, maybe just fool around or do whatever you feel comfortable doing and gradually progress from there. no rush. if the guys worth while he will have no problem taking it slower and in the end youll both benefit since the sex will be better and youll both be able to fully remember it lol
 
i drink screwdrivers, usually. and lol, pretty much everytime i see this guy, we fuck. and i've been sober maybe 3-4 times cuz he didn't just couldn't wait until i got drunk, LOL. i don't know, i kind of prefer drunk sex too. oh man, my all time favourite sex is when i'm nodding on opiates. freaken amazing.
 
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