Caffiene Episode

[PyroFromTheCenter]

It's everywhere.
I see it on every corner.
Teetch clench, face strain -- resistance
"I'm not pulling over the car... just going to work"
Work requires energy.
Fast paced
People talking, talking, talking -- resistance weakening
I'll need to talk to make money.
No... no I can succeed without it
I can... but it'd be easier
Besides, who cares?
Just you.

Floating into the coffee-shop, aromas mystify me.
Images on the walls make me feel at home.
Smelling, seeing, tasing the air!
I hate the taste. The smell makes me sick!
I want to vomit now. Get me outta here!
The doors are gone. Vision blurring.
"How-do-I-get-outta-here?" Mumbling. Head starting to fall.
Hypnosis. The music... damnit I forgot they use the music.
And I'll forget again.

Time slips by after caffiene episodes.
Alluring again, the voice will call me back
I've resisted before and won!
Each time I remake the wall.
Building it back up is getting easier.
Sometimes I find new materials to use.
I'm getting stronger.
A lack of patience with myself at this point
Would mean utter failure.

Out of energy tonight.
Not even enough to make myself dinner.
I'm skipping dinner. Just gonna grab some water.
Sleep comes. I'm out -- empty in seconds.

Morning comes.
Sun shakes me awake early.
Body shifts, burries face in the pillow -- back to sleep.
Wake up comes.
I feel like such a fiend.
Mashed hair, folded face, stiff muscles
Dehydrated, feeling crusty, squinted eyes
What the hell? Am I hung over?

-----
Caffiene addiction, anyone?

Pyro
P.S. The Original Pyro

 

[E-girl]

i totally know where you're coming from.

i work 12-14 hours days, which start extremely early. and then during a 2-week period of which i hated my job, i decided to pursue my Masters online, which now sucks the remaining hours of my day. i am barely asleep before the alarm is going off, and i barely ever see sunshine except out the window by my desk. most people eat breakfast; i grab a Rockstar on my way to work and sometimes even that's not enough, i'm popping caffeine pills through the day trying to stay awake. it makes me body hurt, and when i'm not consuming excessive amounts of caffeine, i have the worst migraines.

But its definitely an addiction. I panic when 7-Eleven is out of diet Rockstar. i absolutely panic. no wonder i rely on sleeping pills to put me out at the end of the day.

 

[colicolo]

i completly relate - 21 hour days, 6am flights, city to city - who knows where i'd be without my ciggaretes and red bull.

even reading this i felt the tingles of addiction. and i know this feeling well:

I'm getting stronger.
A lack of patience with myself at this point
Would mean utter failure.

 

[Tiredhands]

Sometimes it's nice to hear that you're not alone.