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cafe date

(Wordy)

Moderator: BAD
Staff member
Joined
Oct 23, 2005
Messages
1,544
Location
VIC, AU
coffee kicks

your date
talks your arm off

you yet another
imitation audience

such expertise in
appearing unconfused

even when your attention swings
to the drizzle of adjectives
out on the street

& how do you like
these café clientele

glazed cakes &
tarts under glass

sincere, unimpressed looks
that say, “I hope
you are not the future”

don't they realise
the number of errors
can only inflate?

you drop a twenty
on the table,
slip out alone


(c) Stu Hatton 2009
a collection of thoughs
 
i like your style.

this reminds of a similar piece you wrote once before about chapel st.
 
Haha. This is almost a comedy in that he totally dips, yet a tragedy in that he didn't receive the companionship he was looking for.:)
 
Thanks for the feedback guys.

It does have a similar feel to the Chapel St poem, I agree.
 
ouch, poor girl ;)

I like the descriptive nature and, as sam said, sad comedy.
 
Thanks, Mehm.

It's interesting how yourself and Samael have ascribed genders to the characters of the poem. I guess I'd probably do the same if I were reading it cold.
 
I like this. I can identify with it, especially re: attention slipping due to all the interesting characters (adjectives ;) ) trundling past your table. Nice work. :)
 
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