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Social But Jah nowhere it's great to see you . . . Right here and now or somewhere

I went out and filled my birdfeeder.

There were a couple cardinals this morning already.

I've only caught sight of Jay maybe three days ago. A little guy.

There are big fat quails or partridges everywhere. We will never starve with those things around. (just kidding of course)

There has been a lot of runners passing through too. I didn't know they flew too. huh. One bounced out of the tree and then

just completely vanished. lol. They move fast though. Very nice out today. The rain finally stopped after 3 and a half day.s.
 
So where do I start. Again. I know I eye eye me me mee. But I am so tired. I don't understand.

It's not the weed. We used to smoke on the way up the ski lifts so how is that being lazy. When you have to hurry up and get up the hill somehow. Just barely enough time to burn one.

I don't know. The tiredness is scary. I mean it could have all just caught up with me. But maybe not.

The brain fog is going away. Finally. But the slowness probably never. I did get a little better. I can endure and get my chores done faster now.

I can still drive. But I don't want to drive all day. I can hike. and shop.

I kind of accepted it but it is kind of getting scary. Again. I mean I actually nodded after drinking two 8 oz. redbulls right now.

I have passed out on the Monsters many times. Maybe it is just normal to shut down and rest for a while. I am getting some more time in with the whole situation now.

I did so much better this year in the coldness and winter days because the kratom heats me up so bad I don't even need a jacket. It seems to make my metabolism faster.

the gabapentin seems to make me sweat poison . . . because it does go away as soon as I withdrawal a bit. The kratom just keeps me warm. Sometimes very warm. Like sweating before puking warm.

The hot weather last Sum was horrible and I felt like it almost could have killed. And I know it wasn't just me because there was smoke in the air all the way down to the keys.

Like a big heat dome filled with smoke. Toxic kinds. So how healthy is that anyway. It's so fresh now its so clear and nice feeling like a valium. Or actually a better comparison is it feels like memories of fresh spring days. When all felt so new and healthy.

I am not just making this up. I would be out doing things if I really wasn't all of this. I would be out on a mountain bike but I wouldn't overdue it like that anymore.

Or just anywhere. But I can't. I just want to rest and be as happy as possible while I still can be. Maybe it's part of healing the body and it can be repaired.

I just feel that there are so many toxins around that can really harm.
 
kiely said:
So where do I start. Again. I know I eye eye me me mee. But I am so tired. I don't understand.

It's not the weed. We used to smoke on the way up the ski lifts so how is that being lazy. When you have to hurry up and get up the hill somehow. Just barely enough time to burn one.

I don't know. The tiredness is scary. I mean it could have all just caught up with me. But maybe not.

The brain fog is going away. Finally. But the slowness probably never. I did get a little better. I can endure and get my chores done faster now.

I can still drive. But I don't want to drive all day. I can hike. and shop.

I kind of accepted it but it is kind of getting scary. Again. I mean I actually nodded after drinking two 8 oz. redbulls right now.

I have passed out on the Monsters many times. Maybe it is just normal to shut down and rest for a while. I am getting some more time in with the whole situation now.

I did so much better this year in the coldness and winter days because the kratom heats me up so bad I don't even need a jacket. It seems to make my metabolism faster.

the gabapentin seems to make me sweat poison . . . because it does go away as soon as I withdrawal a bit. The kratom just keeps me warm. Sometimes very warm. Like sweating before puking warm.

The hot weather last Sum was horrible and I felt like it almost could have killed. And I know it wasn't just me because there was smoke in the air all the way down to the keys.

Like a big heat dome filled with smoke. Toxic kinds. So how healthy is that anyway. It's so fresh now its so clear and nice feeling like a valium. Or actually a better comparison is it feels like memories of fresh spring days. When all felt so new and healthy.

I am not just making this up. I would be out doing things if I really wasn't all of this. I would be out on a mountain bike but I wouldn't overdue it like that anymore.

Or just anywhere. But I can't. I just want to rest and be as happy as possible while I still can be. Maybe it's part of healing the body and it can be repaired.

I just feel that there are so many toxins around that can really harm.
Click to expand...
Healing for different parts of the body can be a long process, don’t give up hope Bonita (you’re not alone … I won’t give up hope either you know I understand for sure) … you’re doing awesome
* yea oh my gosh the smokey air this summer was affecting me too

Be so gentle with yourself
Proud of you amiga
Big hug 🌺🌼💕💜
 
kiely said:
So where do I start. Again. I know I eye eye me me mee. But I am so tired. I don't understand.

It's not the weed. We used to smoke on the way up the ski lifts so how is that being lazy. When you have to hurry up and get up the hill somehow. Just barely enough time to burn one.

I don't know. The tiredness is scary. I mean it could have all just caught up with me. But maybe not.

The brain fog is going away. Finally. But the slowness probably never. I did get a little better. I can endure and get my chores done faster now.

I can still drive. But I don't want to drive all day. I can hike. and shop.

I kind of accepted it but it is kind of getting scary. Again. I mean I actually nodded after drinking two 8 oz. redbulls right now.

I have passed out on the Monsters many times. Maybe it is just normal to shut down and rest for a while. I am getting some more time in with the whole situation now.

I did so much better this year in the coldness and winter days because the kratom heats me up so bad I don't even need a jacket. It seems to make my metabolism faster.

the gabapentin seems to make me sweat poison . . . because it does go away as soon as I withdrawal a bit. The kratom just keeps me warm. Sometimes very warm. Like sweating before puking warm.

The hot weather last Sum was horrible and I felt like it almost could have killed. And I know it wasn't just me because there was smoke in the air all the way down to the keys.

Like a big heat dome filled with smoke. Toxic kinds. So how healthy is that anyway. It's so fresh now its so clear and nice feeling like a valium. Or actually a better comparison is it feels like memories of fresh spring days. When all felt so new and healthy.

I am not just making this up. I would be out doing things if I really wasn't all of this. I would be out on a mountain bike but I wouldn't overdue it like that anymore.

Or just anywhere. But I can't. I just want to rest and be as happy as possible while I still can be. Maybe it's part of healing the body and it can be repaired.

I just feel that there are so many toxins around that can really harm.
Click to expand...
I went away for a few days and the second I got back to the city it just felt/smelled like my house/unit/all the air coming in was like brake dust! So weird compared to a place where there's far less traffic and industry...

I think you're onto something for sure. But yeah my ears started getting weird and my throat kind of locked up. It's not dust, I'm pretty sure it's legit pollution. Also I LOVE 5G TOWERS. But 4G is ok. 4G5

Edit: I don't live that far from a major highway. But I've lived near a chicken feed manufacturing plant as well as a milk/cheese factory. Now that was HELL. I can't complain I guess. Maybe I just need to destroy some brake dust bunnies :D

Double Edit: I've looked up the air quality currently, Particulate Matter levels aren't ideal. So maybe it's not just me but also science :#
 
Last edited:
I guess we have to breathe though. Everything depends on good health.
We have to keep breathing and keep on seeing things for what they are
and as safe and effective as they can be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least things aren't quite this bad yet !!

Lol. I just threw this in for some fun. Sori.

I guess we shouldn't take things for granted like air, water, and infinite resources,
though.

 
kiely said:
I guess we have to breathe though. Everything depends on good health.
We have to keep breathing and keep on seeing things for what they are
and as safe and effective as they can be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least things aren't quite this bad yet !!

Lol. I just threw this in for some fun. Sori.

I guess we shouldn't take things for granted like air, water, and infinite resources,
though.

Click to expand...

Epic!!! I loved the first Dune. Never read the novels but there used to be a rave track which sampled "Spice expands consciousness" around. Foundation is a pretty decent sci-fi to check out (imo). A little bit cheesy but it's based on an Isaac Asimov novel :)

And yes breathing is great! lol
 
thatmf said:
Epic!!! . . . . . there used to be a rave track which sampled "Spice expands consciousness"
based on an Isaac Asimov novel :)
Click to expand...

"DUNE." "He who controls the spice, controls the Universe!"

- the original.


So good.


oLelNXV.jpg



❤️‍🔥
 
Gabapentin makes me sweat stink. I hate it. I would feel safer and more comfortable using herione than that nasty sht. Too bad it's all tainted with fentanyl though so I won't. That's for sure. I guess I'm too good for it. so lame. but ya gotta rise outta me. you ol fentanyl you. Don't that just float yer boat. As in groove yer move. Jonnies. Yeh and throw depression into the mix. Yeah it'll work out just fine. don't it.
 
🌻🌻

CHOOSE ENJOY !

Don't wait for things to
get easier, simpler,
better. Life will always be
complicated. Learn to be
happy right now. Otherwise,
you'll run out of time.


I feel like I am always
addicted to something,
no matter what.

I don't want to say
that I trade one thing
for another.
But . .
I am getting a lot
better at it ?



And always remember . .

It's easier to build
strong children
Than to repair
broken adults . . . .<3
 
Today I feel a bit insignificant because there really are good people in this world and this makes me feel that I have to try even harder now myself with ='s everyone.

I hope that we didn't get blasted too hard with that Schumann Resonance. And whether you believe that or not, I am going to try to work with everyone more.

We are all human we all bleed and we all breathe. However, there really has been diversity since the beginning of everything. There just has and always will be.

We should try more of less abuse as much as possible. Well you know in the nicest way possible. There is hope left . . inside of us all. I Truly Believe. Or at least want to.

Hey it's a start. Smile and Laugh and I think the Resonance might be ending. I always dread the large flare ups. I should get over that too.

Have a good day. Wouldn't that be weird if we could have a good day everyday !!! I guess it's as good as it gets or as we can get it to be. Journey into everything

and hopefully we can find the right spirits to speak to for enlightenment in the trails and travels. Bye.
 
🐶🐶

Awe. Thank You for saying that.

Budie is so smart it's scary. She is kind of amazing.

When we are alone together she tries to talk to me. Because she really focuses on everything. She will shake her head no and say uh uuh. Or she will say no. She makes the sound thank you. She says uh huh for yes. She nods her head. She will stare towards the direction that she wants something and then of course she doesn't have to talk.

She blinks her eyes or one eye when she is responding to try to communicate too but she does do everything appropriately. She even grunts I'm alright once in a while. Lols. But she sure arse does.

She can't really form vocabulary I guess because she is a dog. But she sure seems like she is imitating sounds.

When she is around others though she just barks and plays like a regular douwgie. But we learned from each other fast.

I think she is really talking to me but it is all a mystery.

Thank you for listening. You are always so awesome and nice to hear.
 
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