Busy But Tortured

[TheDeceased]

Is my old self waiting there?
Or has it long since withered and died
That spark behind my eyes I see sometimes
That reminds me of my youth
A phantom tease, a precursor to now
So endlessly I deliberate rather than act
The fear of failure too great to commit to anything
Because I know that there is nothing left inside me
Insipid abuse self-inflicted repeating itself forever
Innocence a fairy tale, dissolved in sulfuric acid
My brain, a shadow of itself, slowly destroyed and depleted
Now impotent to change, I stagnate
But the smiling faces do not stop
My neighbors in this hell are far departed in actuality
Yet they seem so close
And I cannot understand the glee that befalls them
When all I see is shit - The rapture is alien to me
A horrible side-effect of ignorance and neglect
Where is the guilt? I wonder
In all those smiling faces
Where is the shame?
For living such plush and extravagant lives
While the rest of the world withers and dies
Shouldn’t all of humanity be full of remorse
Tortured self-hatred, ogres and whores
For living in luxury and complaining, no more
Meanwhile starving children knock on their door
Nuisance… distraction… the needy, the poor
I’m too busy to answer
I told you before

 

[Mehm]

imo try to make positive changes in your own life while being ok with who you are. life is a conglomeration of environment and genetics in a physical manifestation. who is to say a war tortured slave isn't better off than an inherited billionaire because the tortured slave learns to talk to god and achieve enlightenment while the billionaire dies unloved and miserable. i'm just saying.

 

[ControlDenied]

very gothic. kind of poe-tic, lovecraftian. Mehm is right, there is divine law. Some kind of justice, a system we do not comprehend. dont concentrate on one side. but I think this aesthetic of the Western decadent decline can be explored, and will be explored more in art in general.