Stimulants BuSpar and Amphetamine Psychosis

[PsychonautRyan]

Considering that amphetamines greatly exacerbate anxiety disorders, at my community college, I can't relax until every task on my mental to-do list is complete. I wash my hands before and after every meal because I want to be rigorously clean, given that most restroom sinks have the cold water nozzle as "frigidly cold" and the hot water nozzle as "marginally less cold", I found a single restroom that actually has hot water. The problem is that I have to walk across campus to get it, and on my mental to-do list: I can't put off things so I walk around campus frequently (check out a library book, go to the math tutoring center, buy my textbooks, which are huge distances). When I'm nervous I sometimes dig my nails into my fingertips so they get sore and the skin is picked off or bite my lip until it bleeds.

So whenever I walk by, I hear people say "I see him walking around all the time, that guy is so weird/creepy". I'm taking Adderall for my ADHD symptoms, but amphetamines worsen social anxiety frequently, this is almost like full-blown paranoia. So now my psychiatrist prescribed BuSpar, an antidepressant and anti-anxiety drug, which helps me relax somewhat, but I still can’t get over other people judging me, just for pacing around frequently. How to get over people talking about me in the hallways? Or at least thinking that they do? I keep on hearing them say "so creepy" or "weird" in critical, repetitive voices, and at times I feel as if even if they're walking thirty feet away then the distant chattering sounds like vicious criticism when I process it.

It is practically like full-blown paranoid schizophrenia, but at least the ideas of reference are only intrusive thoughts, not totally delusional (there's still 20% of my thoughts on some level that saying that this paranoia is unfounded, but the intrusive, paranoid feelings are the other 80% ). If I'm walking through the hallways during passing periods, I feel as if all eyes are on me and every voice is talking about me, and scrutinizing and judging everything about me.

Whenever I sit down, it has to be in a corner, with my back against the wall, otherwise if it's closer to the center, I feel like I'm drawing everybody's attention. I've been on BuSpar for two weeks, and it's only provided some alleviation so far, and I've probably been sleeping five hours each day, so sleep deprivation isn't major. I'm not sure if I should give up on the buspirone or try it another few weeks, but at any rate, these symptoms right now are unbearably tormenting me. Or should I try going off Adderall every few days and all of the above symptoms disappear?

^ Though I do feel like John Nash pacing the hallways of Princeton sometimes.

 

[twotoomany]

Have you fully explained to your doctor the extent of these feelings?

 

[PsychonautRyan]

I told her about the social anxiety and self-consciousness, but I decided to underscore the extent of my paranoia symptoms for obvious reasons.

 

[littlepenguin]

hmmm...
didn't you post a thread like 2 days ago about your over-inflated ego and how you're so witty and charming as an usher at a movie theatre or something? what happened to that?

either way, looking at it from the outside subjectively, it's essentially the exact same thing. narcissism.

are you seeing a psychologist? i would assume so, hopefully, considering the medications that are being prescribed to you. no matter how weird, embarrassing or awkward it is, you've got to make sure to tell your Doc about these obsessive thoughts. Perhaps the combination of the buspar and the adderall isn't working for you. Perhaps it's just the adderall. But I wouldn't suggest stopping/starting or changing your dose or anything like that until you consult your doc.

What I'm about to say is absolutely NOT intended to be mean, or anything of the like - it's kind of just one of those 'harsh truths' that need to be pointed out sometimes...
Everybody is NOT whispering about you.
When you sit in the center of a room, you are not the center of the room's attention.
Nobody probably gives a frog's fat ass whether or not you do a lot of walking on campus.

People are naturally egocentric. That's fine - it's a part of natural survival. If you don't look out for yourself, who will?
For example: your senior high school class photo. In mine, there was about 500 people. Now - when you get this big photo, what does every single person do first? look for themselves.

So - the question begs - if everybody's looking for themselves, how can everybody possibly have time to look at you?

Everyone is insecure in their own way. Even that dude who you must think gets all the bitches, or that huge titty skinny broad who's smokin' hot...she's probably worried she looks fat in that tanktop, and mister macho is probably pissed because he's got a small penis. Who knows? Everybody is fighting their own battles and insecurities. I'm not saying by any means that you're not special, because you are - everyone is. However - it may not seem vain, but thinking that everybody's always talking about YOU and watching YOU and thinking how weird YOU are...is vain. It may be negative, but it's still self-centered.

...and if everyone was calling you weird and noticing how much you walk around campus and whatever else? Well, my answer to that is damn, they must have some boring ass lives if they need to spend their time noting when and where I've been walking...but that's just me.

 

[seaofmonsters]

Try to taper off the adderall. It seems like it's not working well for you. I'm no psychiatrist so take my words with a grain of salt, but what you're describing sounds like paranoid schizophrenia. I can assure you that NO ONE is saying those things about you -- they're in your head.

The adderall sounds like it's making you narcissistic and self-centered, like the above guy said, and by extension crazy. Some of us can't handle stimulants as well as others because we're too anxious. You're probably one of them.

"I keep on hearing them say "so creepy" or "weird" in critical, repetitive voices, and at times I feel as if even if they're walking thirty feet away then the distant chattering sounds like vicious criticism when I process it."
That^^ sounds like textbook auditory hallucinations. Even if these thoughts aren't caused by the Adderall, tapering off of it wouldn't hurt, would it? I'd rather be a little absent-minded than paranoid and egocentric.

 

[PsychonautRyan]

hmmm...
didn't you post a thread like 2 days ago about your over-inflated ego and how you're so witty and charming as an usher at a movie theatre or something? what happened to that?

My negative symptoms of Adderall range from being egotistical and arrogant, to being paranoid and edgy, and so far, it's been a roll of the dice which one I end up on.

Anyway, I might try to just reduce my Adderall intake to just a few days a week, it'll probably be a miracle to attend classes without feeling edgy and paranoid for once, I just don't like having to choose between academic success and crippling anxiety, though I'm going to research alternatives.

 

[bluespeed]

hmmm...
didn't you post a thread like 2 days ago about your over-inflated ego and how you're so witty and charming as an usher at a movie theatre or something? what happened to that?

either way, looking at it from the outside subjectively, it's essentially the exact same thing. narcissism.

are you seeing a psychologist? i would assume so, hopefully, considering the medications that are being prescribed to you. no matter how weird, embarrassing or awkward it is, you've got to make sure to tell your Doc about these obsessive thoughts. Perhaps the combination of the buspar and the adderall isn't working for you. Perhaps it's just the adderall. But I wouldn't suggest stopping/starting or changing your dose or anything like that until you consult your doc.

What I'm about to say is absolutely NOT intended to be mean, or anything of the like - it's kind of just one of those 'harsh truths' that need to be pointed out sometimes...
Everybody is NOT whispering about you.
When you sit in the center of a room, you are not the center of the room's attention.
Nobody probably gives a frog's fat ass whether or not you do a lot of walking on campus.

People are naturally egocentric. That's fine - it's a part of natural survival. If you don't look out for yourself, who will?
For example: your senior high school class photo. In mine, there was about 500 people. Now - when you get this big photo, what does every single person do first? look for themselves.

So - the question begs - if everybody's looking for themselves, how can everybody possibly have time to look at you?

Everyone is insecure in their own way. Even that dude who you must think gets all the bitches, or that huge titty skinny broad who's smokin' hot...she's probably worried she looks fat in that tanktop, and mister macho is probably pissed because he's got a small penis. Who knows? Everybody is fighting their own battles and insecurities. I'm not saying by any means that you're not special, because you are - everyone is. However - it may not seem vain, but thinking that everybody's always talking about YOU and watching YOU and thinking how weird YOU are...is vain. It may be negative, but it's still self-centered.

...and if everyone was calling you weird and noticing how much you walk around campus and whatever else? Well, my answer to that is damn, they must have some boring ass lives if they need to spend their time noting when and where I've been walking...but that's just me.

Great post, really, OP should try to listen to this guy more

 

[littlepenguin]

Great post, really, OP should try to listen to this guy more

gal, not guy. but thx for the compliment.

 

[PsychonautRyan]

Yeah I know, I've been off of it today and it felt great to relax for once, but I know that if I take my daily dose of Adderall tomorrow, I'll just be convinced that it's all real again, so I guess I'll have to tough out the withdrawals.

 

[Lightning-Nl]

I've found that, as far as Amphetamines go, Adderall is WAY too "up and down." What you're describing isn't uncommon for someone who had anxiety issues. Sorry mate, but it looks to me like you're gonna have to get off it. If you don't you risk amphetmaine psychosis and let me tell you from experience, that's something that NO ONE should go through.

I totally understand if you're hesitant about getting off Adderall, I know I was. It's a wonder drug. It's my best friend, and my worst enemy. But if you're having symptoms like this, you need to stop being on it, or AT THE VERY LEAST lower your dose.

A drug that is way "smoother" in terms of up and downess is Vyvanse. Vyvanse has ultimately, provided me with the same focus as Adderall, and hasn't made me paranoid and (basically) psychotic like Adderall did. And, if you abuse Vyvanse, you're in for one very unpleasant ride. When I've taken doses higher than I'm prescribed in the past, it's always resulted in an emergency room visit, followed by a 30 day supply of Valium.

 

[PsychonautRyan]

I've found that, as far as Amphetamines go, Adderall is WAY too "up and down." What you're describing isn't uncommon for someone who had anxiety issues. Sorry mate, but it looks to me like you're gonna have to get off it. If you don't you risk amphetmaine psychosis and let me tell you from experience, that's something that NO ONE should go through.

I totally understand if you're hesitant about getting off Adderall, I know I was. It's a wonder drug. It's my best friend, and my worst enemy. But if you're having symptoms like this, you need to stop being on it, or AT THE VERY LEAST lower your dose.

A drug that is way "smoother" in terms of up and downess is Vyvanse. Vyvanse has ultimately, provided me with the same focus as Adderall, and hasn't made me paranoid and (basically) psychotic like Adderall did. And, if you abuse Vyvanse, you're in for one very unpleasant ride. When I've taken doses higher than I'm prescribed in the past, it's always resulted in an emergency room visit, followed by a 30 day supply of Valium.

I'll probably schedule as many off-days as possible, and reduce my dose, the only problem is that I have five 10 mg IR tablets left, and I have a bunch of 20 mg XR, would it be too much of a hassle to try to divide the extended-release beads into quarters to get four 5 mg doses out of a capsule, or am I just asking for a mess?

 

[PsychonautRyan]

Has anybody had any luck treating social anxiety with BuSpar? From what I've read, it's hit-or-miss, three-quarters are saying it's totally useless and the remaining fourth saying it's a miraculous SAD medication. And I'm split on waiting another few weeks for the full therapeutic benefit, if anything, or maybe use GABA enhancers (kava or theanine).

 

[spinchick]

That's how it goes with adderall, especially if you are already prone to anxiety and paranoia. I have horrible anxiety and I also use any combination of meth, adderall, vyvanse, and dexedrine daily....along with xanax. That's the only way I've found to relieve the paranoia.

 

[pinpoint]

Considering that amphetamines greatly exacerbate anxiety disorders, at my community college, I can't relax until every task on my mental to-do list is complete. I wash my hands before and after every meal because I want to be rigorously clean, given that most restroom sinks have the cold water nozzle as "frigidly cold" and the hot water nozzle as "marginally less cold", I found a single restroom that actually has hot water. The problem is that I have to walk across campus to get it, and on my mental to-do list: I can't put off things so I walk around campus frequently (check out a library book, go to the math tutoring center, buy my textbooks, which are huge distances). When I'm nervous I sometimes dig my nails into my fingertips so they get sore and the skin is picked off or bite my lip until it bleeds.

So whenever I walk by, I hear people say "I see him walking around all the time, that guy is so weird/creepy". I'm taking Adderall for my ADHD symptoms, but amphetamines worsen social anxiety frequently, this is almost like full-blown paranoia. So now my psychiatrist prescribed BuSpar, an antidepressant and anti-anxiety drug, which helps me relax somewhat, but I still can’t get over other people judging me, just for pacing around frequently. How to get over people talking about me in the hallways? Or at least thinking that they do? I keep on hearing them say "so creepy" or "weird" in critical, repetitive voices, and at times I feel as if even if they're walking thirty feet away then the distant chattering sounds like vicious criticism when I process it.

It is practically like full-blown paranoid schizophrenia, but at least the ideas of reference are only intrusive thoughts, not totally delusional (there's still 20% of my thoughts on some level that saying that this paranoia is unfounded, but the intrusive, paranoid feelings are the other 80% ). If I'm walking through the hallways during passing periods, I feel as if all eyes are on me and every voice is talking about me, and scrutinizing and judging everything about me.

Whenever I sit down, it has to be in a corner, with my back against the wall, otherwise if it's closer to the center, I feel like I'm drawing everybody's attention. I've been on BuSpar for two weeks, and it's only provided some alleviation so far, and I've probably been sleeping five hours each day, so sleep deprivation isn't major. I'm not sure if I should give up on the buspirone or try it another few weeks, but at any rate, these symptoms right now are unbearably tormenting me. Or should I try going off Adderall every few days and all of the above symptoms disappear?

^ Though I do feel like John Nash pacing the hallways of Princeton sometimes.

Have you ever considered that the reason you think people are saying you're weird or creepy is because YOU ARE being weird or creepy? It may sound harsh but would it be so difficult to wash your hands in a regular bathroom so you don't need to walk "a huge distance"? I think your logic is serving you well - it's telling you exactly what you need to hear. If you walk with your head up, smile (not goofy), and make eye contact perhaps you'll see that people aren't whispering horrible criticisms of you under their breath. Do some CBT with yourself - does it make sense when you say it aloud to yourself? Does it make sense that people are stopping their day and making time to whisper things to other friends who are also stopping their day to concur with their friends' analysis of your looks? C'mon OP be a man.

 

[PsychonautRyan]

When you have obsessive-compulsive anxiety, you can't just will yourself consciously to stop the compulsion, such as washing hands or traveling distances to get specific tasks done in a given day. Even if they are making those comments, it's based on superficial reasons, such as seeing me more than usual than actually talking to me, such as the same judgment that you're casting on me right now.

 

[DexyDevil]

Adderall can do this. I probably brush my teeth twelve times a day. But hey, I can focus and have really white teeth! It used to be that I would start on Adderall and Dexedrine and have reduced anxiety initially, then anxiety would start creeping up until it became severe. Then I'd take benzos to combat it only to become disinhibited, aggressive, irritable and every bit as nervous as I was previously. Before long I'd burn out on stimulants altogether and have to take a break. Then I started taking 200mg of Seroquel in the evenings to "shut my brain off." Amphetamines put this little voice in your head that commands, "go, go, go, do, do, do, achieve, achieve, achieve." I thought Klonopin would politely tell that voice to quiet down; instead the two voices just go in an argument. Seroquel grab's that amphetamine voice by the throat and rips out the tongue. Then your morning dose of amphetamine feels nice and fresh and less intrusive. I also began taking Lyrica for anxiety. Lyrica tries the polite approach that benzos did but this time no argument ensues.

I also take Pristiq and Remeron, a highly synergistic antidepressant combo that has likely saved my life, lifting me from the deepest depths of depression and lowering my anxiety levels even further than they had already been reduced by the Seroquel and Lyrica.

I'm NOT saying you should run out and add five more psych meds to your arsenal but they are very effective, individually and combined, for treating the symptoms you complain of here. Seroquel can be a dangerous drug, but I don't think I'd want to use amphetamines without having it on hand.

 

[Lightning-Nl]

First things first.

I found Buspar to just as ineffective as SSRI's in terms of anxiety. It did nothing for me and actually gave me "brain zaps." Oh, and don't try snorting it, you'll be in pain for a good three hours. Kava, Valerian Root, St. Johns Wort, Chamomile Supplements, etc, are actually (I found) to be way more effective than nearly all antianxiety meds, except Benzodiazepines. Lyrica (Pregabalin) and Neurontin (Gabapentin) I did, however, find to be more effective than supplements.

Adderall is awful for compulsive anxiety. It exacerbates it in everyone that has it. I, and everyone else who has this, cannot suppress their compulsions when on Adderall. For instance, I cannot suppress an urge to have a cigarette on Adderall, I can't suppress my urge to just sit and play video games all day, I can't suppress my urge to bite my fingernails, etc. If you cannot suppress your compulsions on Amphetamines (like me), I found that Lamotrigine is excellent at letting you better control your compulsions. Lamotrigine has been a lifesaver mix with my AMPS. I the lamotrigine with my medication, and while it slightly decreases it's stimulation, I still get the same amount of focus, without the compulsions. If you have compulsive behavior on Amphetamines, Lamotrigine is something you should be on.

I'm NOT saying you should run out and add five more psych meds to your arsenal but they are very effective, individually and combined, for treating the symptoms you complain of here. Seroquel can be a dangerous drug, but I don't think I'd want to use amphetamines without having it on hand.

Seroquel works at high doses. But if I only want to dull my meds and not terminate their effect. Seroquel is not the med you want, as it's antagonistic effects on Dopamine and Serotonin are only present in higher doses.

A better med for this case is, Risperdal (Risperidone) Geodon (Ziprazidone), pretty much every other antipsychotic that isn't Seroquel.

 

[littlepenguin]

Have you ever considered that the reason you think people are saying you're weird or creepy is because YOU ARE being weird or creepy? It may sound harsh but would it be so difficult to wash your hands in a regular bathroom so you don't need to walk "a huge distance"? I think your logic is serving you well - it's telling you exactly what you need to hear. If you walk with your head up, smile (not goofy), and make eye contact perhaps you'll see that people aren't whispering horrible criticisms of you under their breath. Do some CBT with yourself - does it make sense when you say it aloud to yourself? Does it make sense that people are stopping their day and making time to whisper things to other friends who are also stopping their day to concur with their friends' analysis of your looks? C'mon OP be a man.

I totally agree with this. Especially the CBT part.

When you have obsessive-compulsive anxiety, you can't just will yourself consciously to stop the compulsion, such as washing hands or traveling distances to get specific tasks done in a given day. Even if they are making those comments, it's based on superficial reasons, such as seeing me more than usual than actually talking to me, such as the same judgment that you're casting on me right now.

I can't and shouldn't speak for pinpoint, but even if their words came off as a bit 'harsh,' I don't really think the intent was to cast judgement on you. Pinpoint basically said kinda what I said earlier, but shorter and more to the 'point.' (pun unintended).

However, when you say "when you've got OCD-a, you can't just will yourself to stop compulsions..."
well...mehhhhh...I say that's a pretty lame cop-out or just a reason to keep holding on to your diagnoses.
What pinpoint mentioned about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is totally right on, and is really the only true way that OCD has a chance of being diminished.

If you were to have a CBT counselor, basically what happens with OCD or specific phobias is that the 'issue' is brought to the table, exposed, discussed, and then the counselor will basically throw you into a situation where you are faced with your 'fear' (ie: washing your hands in the 'bad' lavatory). The counselor guides you through your 'fear' and then points out at the end that there were no negative consequences from preforming the 'scary' behaviour, and will likely repeat this process with you until there are new 'tapes' in your head that replace the negative ones that currently exist and are causing anxiety by proving to you that the 'fear' you hold for something is really just your imagination running away with itself mixed with habitual/repetitive thoughts.

Sounds like work?
Well, yeah - it is. Sure, is it easier to do nothing and not put any effort into yourself and just keep hoping that some 'miracle medication combination' is going to get prescribed to you and BAM one day you wake up and you're "normal?" sorry to be the bubble-burster, but it's not gonna happen. Although there are some medications out there that seem to help some people, I think when it all comes right down to it, it's gotta be some hard, gut-wrenching, soul searching, crying, smiling WORK. I mean, after all - aren't you worth it???

 

[opiatekrzy]

sounds like classic symptoms of over taking Adderall and recreational side effects (negative), lower ur dose or switch to Dexedrine, maybe the l-amp in Adderall is the problem for you

 

[Juicewrldfan]

I know this is an old thread but this isn’t narcissism like people keep telling the guy. This needs to be said in case ppl read this and are like “omg I’m a narcissist “

That word gets thrown around a lot. Being paranoid or thinking about yourself alot isn’t narcism.

I struggle with severe mental illnesses and one time I freaked out thinking I was a narcissist and exactly because of something similar to the way people are misinforming this guy. I’m disappointed