Mental Health Buprenorphine: The last 2mg

[Julianb]

After 30 years of depression I was diagnosed with ADHD and as soon as I started on Concerta my symptoms got much better. I am not a picture of mental health but I am finally functional (sort of).

However by the time I got there I got addicted to morphine prescribed to deal with psychosomatic pains caused by wrong medication (Olanzapine a dopamine antagonist (for five years) that made my depression 100 times although no one seems to have noticed it) but that is a long story.

I was then put on Methadone which proved impossible to come off (as soon as I got below 12mg, my depression became intolerable). So I was switched to Buprenorphine which was amazingly effective in lifting my depression but left lots of other symptoms that then led to ADHD diagnosis.

I had been on 8mg for about two years when I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was quite easy to reduce it to 2mg. However, I have been trying to come off the last 2mg for the last six months.

It doesn't matter by how slowly I taper down by the time I get to below 1.5mg, I become unbearably unmotivated and then depressed again. I just wake-up with a blankness that doesn't go away days after days until a couple of days after I go back to 2mg.

So, I am looking for an explanation and/or suggestions as to what I should do as I must come off it very soon.

 

[jammin83]

Get yourself some gabapentin or lyrica. Maybe some tenex or clonadine. Phenibut or benzos for the night time and push on through. It takes two or three weeks but with some comfort meds it should be manageable. Just don't swap one dependency for another and keep your dosages low to get through it. As you probably know, gaba and benzos can cause a pretty messed up dependency, so watch out for that. I really wouldn't ever push your gaba dosage much past 600 mg. Anything more than that at once is pretty much a waste. Don't even bother with loperamide. It will be more like a taper than anything, and it is bad for your heart if you take more than 16 mg. It really will just prolong the withdrawal. If you want to use something mild to taper, use kratom.

Best of luck, you will be better and free on the other side. Welcome to BL.

 

[Julianb]

Thanks for the feedback.

I have tried Clonidine as well as gabapentin and diazepam. Not all at the time time off course. Concerta is lot more powerful than Clonidine, anyway. I have to take beta blockers (atenolol) to deal with its side effects. I only take diazepam when things get really bad as I tend to get used to them very quickly and have to keep taking higher doses. So I am really weary of that.
Gabapentine worked for couple (900 mg) of days. But sleeping is not really the problem. If anything I sleep to much out of boredom. It is the lack of motivation and blankness.
I suppose if I had nothing to do and had support, I could have lasted longer. But on my own (with a hyperactive dog) and without support, it has just been impossible to last longer than a week in that state of blankness. I have moved out of town where I can't renew my Subutex prescription to force myself but now I am thinking that may be that was a stupid move.

I have ordered some Kratum but will it be strong enough to push through the Subutex's wall? How many days after I stop Subutex will Kratum start to have its effect?

I am going to run out of Subutex and I am getting really scared.

PS. I feel as if those five years of hell on Olanzapine has permanently damaged my already deficient dopamine receptors as well as ruining my heart and teeth, because I was not this bad before when it came to motivation. Either that or it is my age.