Day after day after day. Same shit. What shit?
BULL SHIT.
Every, fucking, day.
Whenever I try, BULLSHIT.
Bout to fucking snap.
I seem to have quite a few mental problems also.
I have extreme problems sleeping - it takes me forever to knock out. This in turn, makes me so fucking tired when I wake up that 80% of the time I say "fuck class."
I seem to suffer from depression, cuz I hate my life 90% of the fucking time.
I struggle HARDCORE with school, due to my mind racing all the time, being distracted with stupid fucking shit. It's not like my grades are LOW, but they are starting to slip, because balancing work with personal problems is becoming quite hard.
I live most of my life in isolation, due to extreme social anxiety. Which, my doctor seems to think is "quite normal" for someone my age. Bull-fucking-shit its normal. I have no real "friends" when im living at school.
I just can't take much more. If shit doesn't straighten out i'll have to get a fucking shrink. Because I am seriously one of the most fucked up people I know - mentally.
I just need help. Been trying to get that point across to my parents for about 3 fucking years. And every time I try, I encounter the same fucking problem - my father.
He seems to think, that I am PERFECT. And that nothing will EVER be wrong with me. So whenever I even bring UP my problems (which now is usually only to my mom - but she fuckin tells him anyway), he seems to think I'm looking for a "quick fix". Are you fucking joking? A QUICK FIX? MAYBE I NEED TO BE PUT ON FUCKING MEDICATION BEFORE I DOWN A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TYLENOL. MAYBE I'VE BEEN KEEPING MY FUCKED UP PROBLEMS INSIDE MY HEAD FOR SO LONG THAT NOW SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FUCKING FAN.
Fuck my life. Fuck McMaster University. Fuck what I'm planning on doing with my life, because it's not something that'll make me happy. I've gone 3 years into Uni so far, turning back is an option - but not for me. The amount of $ wasted, the amount of time wasted, the amount of effort wasted - that would fuck my head up even more.
So what do I in order to slow down my thinking? I get fucked up. I abuse the shit out of substances. Not addicted, but anything to just stop the thoughts...anything.
God I'm so fucked on the inside but from the outside I seem so average.
Life is just getting too hard..
BECAUSE THERES ALWAYS MORE FUCKING BULLSHIT ON TOP OF MORE BULLSHIT, WITH A SIDE DISH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT.
BULL SHIT.
Every, fucking, day.
Whenever I try, BULLSHIT.
Bout to fucking snap.
I seem to have quite a few mental problems also.
I have extreme problems sleeping - it takes me forever to knock out. This in turn, makes me so fucking tired when I wake up that 80% of the time I say "fuck class."
I seem to suffer from depression, cuz I hate my life 90% of the fucking time.
I struggle HARDCORE with school, due to my mind racing all the time, being distracted with stupid fucking shit. It's not like my grades are LOW, but they are starting to slip, because balancing work with personal problems is becoming quite hard.
I live most of my life in isolation, due to extreme social anxiety. Which, my doctor seems to think is "quite normal" for someone my age. Bull-fucking-shit its normal. I have no real "friends" when im living at school.
I just can't take much more. If shit doesn't straighten out i'll have to get a fucking shrink. Because I am seriously one of the most fucked up people I know - mentally.
I just need help. Been trying to get that point across to my parents for about 3 fucking years. And every time I try, I encounter the same fucking problem - my father.
He seems to think, that I am PERFECT. And that nothing will EVER be wrong with me. So whenever I even bring UP my problems (which now is usually only to my mom - but she fuckin tells him anyway), he seems to think I'm looking for a "quick fix". Are you fucking joking? A QUICK FIX? MAYBE I NEED TO BE PUT ON FUCKING MEDICATION BEFORE I DOWN A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TYLENOL. MAYBE I'VE BEEN KEEPING MY FUCKED UP PROBLEMS INSIDE MY HEAD FOR SO LONG THAT NOW SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FUCKING FAN.
Fuck my life. Fuck McMaster University. Fuck what I'm planning on doing with my life, because it's not something that'll make me happy. I've gone 3 years into Uni so far, turning back is an option - but not for me. The amount of $ wasted, the amount of time wasted, the amount of effort wasted - that would fuck my head up even more.
So what do I in order to slow down my thinking? I get fucked up. I abuse the shit out of substances. Not addicted, but anything to just stop the thoughts...anything.
God I'm so fucked on the inside but from the outside I seem so average.
Life is just getting too hard..
BECAUSE THERES ALWAYS MORE FUCKING BULLSHIT ON TOP OF MORE BULLSHIT, WITH A SIDE DISH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT.