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bros before hoes

citizen cained

citizen cained

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
507
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Wherever I wake up in the morning, so my house mos
ok so long story short, I am losing my closest freind of 19 years to a girl.

A bit of background:
This is his first relationship (not his first sexual encounter though) and in the beginning everything was fine, we still hung out and he saw his gf and as I also have a gf i understood that he would occasionally like to spend time with her instead of his mates.

Now its out of control, he is completely and utterly pussywhipped, she says jump and he says how high. i hardly ever see him now and the final straw was when he cancelled coming out on my birthday AND a meeting 1 week after as a chance for him to make up for it just to be with his master...sorry girlfriend

He does things which are out of character for him for example making dresses with her etc (and this is a guy who has many tattoos and likes screamo music) He spends every min possible with her and the only time i see him is when she is at work and even then he leaves early to pick her up, he is ALWAYS texting her when he is out with us (even when driving ffs) but never replies to texts we send him when he is with her.

He spends all his money on her and she gives little in return, she has often done stuff to him which, if it were me, i would have left her but yet he stays with her and forgives her for everything.

This is my best friend and he has sorted out so many of my problems as i have done for him. I want them to split up so I can have my friend back but I ain't gonna interfere and break them up coz that is not me.

what can i do? I know if they split up he will regret this (from personal experience although i wasn't this bad) I need to talk him around without ending the relationship...


and remember, I have a GF and i love her very much but I still see my mates in between going out with my gf.
 
All you can do is give him your opinion on the situation and some advice. Once you do, step back. If you keep harping on him you're going to push him away.

If this is his first real relationship and consistent stream of pussy, nothing you say is going to change his mind. He'll have to learn how shitty she is on his own.
 
The ironic thing is that by being such a wimp, she will lose respect for him, lose her lust for him, and then treat him worse because she's angry with him for not being his own man. Their relationship will eventually collapse. Hopefully he will learn from it and not make this mistake again. When he comes around, just pick up with him where you left off, i.e. give him another chance on the friendship front.
 
Have you tried talking to him? He might not even know he is acting this way. When/if you do, try to remain calm and not negative at all, as that will just cause him to get super defensive. Good luck :)
 
sounds like he's a needy wimp. oh dear. nothing you can do will allow him to see things from an outside perspective i'm afraid. people like this often go from one all encompassing relationship to another until they are married. you need alternative entertainment.

friendships come and go in the same way relationships do although over a longer course of time and in a more gradual fashion. move on and make other friends, then when they split up and he needs to hang out you can spend time with him again but sort yourself out and find someone else to be best friends with for now.

throughout my life i have had a variety of best friends most of whom i am still close to although in less frequent contact than in the past. life is ebbs and flows
 
if he's your "best mate" - stick it out. BROS BEFORE HO's. Bro's before hoes only applies when you & a mate of yours are involved with the same woman - Like if your mate was in a relationship with her, but you 2 shared a flirtation and she wanted more - bros before hoes means you use your head (not teh little one) and stand off - not fucking your mates girl.

It doesnt apply here man, if he's your best friend accept he's pussywhipped for a while, and when it gets to a certain time -0 talk to him about it - just communicate...don't drop him or let him drop you, coz it's not that simple - he's googoo ga-ga over her, it's not like that between you guys.

SO ride it out, stop being a pussy and talk to him about it. And HER...technically you got there first, so talk to them both seperately.

I did this & it worked out a treat, me & my boys got to see our mate alone without her sometimes, and she realized boundaries.

citizen cained said:
ok so long story short, I am losing my closest freind of 19 years to a girl.

A bit of background:
This is his first relationship (not his first sexual encounter though) and in the beginning everything was fine, we still hung out and he saw his gf and as I also have a gf i understood that he would occasionally like to spend time with her instead of his mates.

Now its out of control, he is completely and utterly pussywhipped, she says jump and he says how high. i hardly ever see him now and the final straw was when he cancelled coming out on my birthday AND a meeting 1 week after as a chance for him to make up for it just to be with his master...sorry girlfriend

He does things which are out of character for him for example making dresses with her etc (and this is a guy who has many tattoos and likes screamo music) He spends every min possible with her and the only time i see him is when she is at work and even then he leaves early to pick her up, he is ALWAYS texting her when he is out with us (even when driving ffs) but never replies to texts we send him when he is with her.

He spends all his money on her and she gives little in return, she has often done stuff to him which, if it were me, i would have left her but yet he stays with her and forgives her for everything.

This is my best friend and he has sorted out so many of my problems as i have done for him. I want them to split up so I can have my friend back but I ain't gonna interfere and break them up coz that is not me.

what can i do? I know if they split up he will regret this (from personal experience although i wasn't this bad) I need to talk him around without ending the relationship...


and remember, I have a GF and i love her very much but I still see my mates in between going out with my gf.
Click to expand...
 
He's how old? He's nineteen? You're going to have to give him space, man. Just let him do it, let him do his thing, and he'll come back into the fold eventually if he truly is your close friend.

If she isn't taking advantage of your friend, using him, cheating on him or whatever, and if the relationship is genuine albeit annoying to you and your mates now that he's never around, well then, you'll just have to come to terms with the fact that this is you friend's new thing, a new relationship in which he's interested in investing a lot of time and energy. It sucks, but it has happened to nearly each and every one of my close friends. It pissed me off at first, but then I came to the realization that it's just what happens, and soon I became guilty of it myself...

I didn't see a good friend of mine for almost a year, and I just had to give him space and give him time. He showed up one day out of the blue and with his girlfriend, and I didn't really bring it up or dwell on it; he sort of made an apology, something akin to "yeah this is what I've been up to," and that was good enough for me because I understand. It's not an uncommon thing. Now we all hang out together all the time and it's a really good situation; my girlfriend, his girlfriend... we're all friends, and it's cool as hell.

I had another friend who did the same thing, and again, I gave him time and let him do his thing, and eventually he came around.

The only time I became really upset and felt really hurt and betrayed was when a military friend, a real close, close friend, brother-like, even, came home to visit and for the two weeks he was here, spent every moment with his girlfriend. I didn't see him, man, not once. I mean, he couldn't make time for me, not even for just one hour to grab a drink or lunch or something, when I haven't seen him for over a year and when he had two weeks to fucking pencil me in. That was screwed up...
 
It's not cock blocking to try to get your close friend to not cut you off just because he found a gf. What it really is is (1) trying to get your friend to be a real friend, and (2) trying to help stop your friend from being a pathetic loser.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
^yup exactly...and also OP has to be a real friend by just sticking around til his buddy comes to his senses hahaha ;)
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exactly although being shunned so he can get his leg over does test my patience....she isn't even that attractive which makes it worse haha not only is he shunning his mates but he could do so much better...
 
Awww, citizen. That really sucks. Girls do that too when they get a BF :\ It sucks.

Since you have a GF and he has a GF, can you all go out together? That's usually a respectable way to compromise where everyone is happy.
 
Pretty much the exact same thing happened to me and one of my good friends when we where 19 or so. It was his first girlfriend and he spent every single waking fucking second with her! We still chilled all the time but she was always fucking there and her personality was like the exact opposite of everyone in our group of friends. Like for instance we'd party.. smoke pot, snort coke shit like that and she wasnt a partier shed just sit there and make little pissy comments about gettin high and shit. Few times shed be mad about something and threaten to call the police.. shit like that. What a bitch. And my friend was so whipped he'd literally do like every she told him to do. It was funny when wed be getting loaded when she was around he couldnt do it in front of her so we'd have to goofy little things like every hour or so I'd have to break out a line of yay on a cd case in a cabinet in the bathroom then he'd go in there and snort it lol. Lookin back on it its fuckin hilarious... Anyways they broke up when he went off to college when he was like 24. Which kinda sucked for me because when they finally break up and we can kick it like normal he goes off to college and I stay at here! But I guess thats what happens as you get older all your friends you grew up with..etc start going their separate ways..etc.

Anyways I just read over that last paragraph I wrote and its a total rant.. sorry bought that... I'm fucked up and in a talkative mood and reading your post totally made me think about that bitch the way you described your buddy and his girl sounded EXACTLY like my friend and his gf. Yall are even 19 which was the age my buddy first started goin out with evil demon bitch lady.

Just wait it out bro.. They'll break up eventually. I don't think theres much you can do.. Like you could probably come up with some devious plan to get them to split but in my opinion that'd be fucked up.. Atleast in my opinion I think its wrong to try to fuck with friends personal things like girlfriends..etc. You could try to talk to him like for instance tell him pretty much what you said in your post.. how you described him and this girl that might make him see how fuckin lame/extreme pussywhipped hes being and make him break up with her..

Anyways I'll stop my babbling.

Peace
 
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Lysis said:
Awww, citizen. That really sucks. Girls do that too when they get a BF :\ It sucks.

Since you have a GF and he has a GF, can you all go out together? That's usually a respectable way to compromise where everyone is happy.
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Thanks, I would do that but she is boring lol i mean she only hangs out with her own mates (which my friend gets dragged along to) and won't hang out with us, my GF on the other hand is very social so there will be no problem her side...its just his GF, I don't want to sound like a bastard but she is moving to London soon (70 miles away from my mate and us) and my mate wants to go with her, i gave him advice as I have moved in with a girl before (ended badly) but if he chooses to ignore it....he will learn the hard way and hopefully split and come crying back to us and all I would say is "i hope you learned your lesson, you should always look out for number 1, GFs come and go but true friends support you forever" a lesson I learned the hard way a few years back..
 
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