Flowerpotman
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 2, 2017
- Messages
- 57
Hi all. Just wanted to post about my current situation.
Years ago I began a legit script for codeine. I started taking more via CW, then got bored of the process and started buying additional meds elsewhere. As my intake raised my mental stability dropped and really fucked me up. I’ve already come off tramadol and Pregabalin (I was on double the daily dose for both those) CT but I’m finding it very difficult coming off of DHC right now. I keep trying to cut down my intake but I give up and take the normal amount the next day (normal amount for me is like 300mg DHC/day at least, 900mg at most - rarely though)
I need to shake it because I’m just fighting suicidal thoughts all the time. I don’t think I’ll do anything like that but I also don’t fully trust myself.
Thing is when I came off those other meds my state of mind was great so I could just weather through it.
My doc first put me on a small amount of diazepam but I exhausted that pretty quickly and won’t give me any more. I’m on Prozac and waiting for that to kick in. Tomorrow I should have some Phenibut arriving. I’ve had gaba drugs before and they work really well for me but I understand they’re pretty bad too so my plan is to only take them for 2 days on, 2 days off whilst rapidly lowering my opiate intake.
Thing is... I’m kinda wanting to come off everything so that I can occasionally take opiates as one might drink booze. I remember the early days when I was first prescribed these meds and how good they made me feel. I’d love to get to that point once more.
I had to go to the ER last night. We just had dinner at my moms and my mind just went crazy. I just wanted to fall down some stairs or have a gentle car crash because I was freaking out so much. The nurse that talked me down was wonderful.
Ps does anyone else track their drug intake? I use the Apple Health app on my phone. I’ve assigned DHC to Zinc and Codeine to Iron (as they’re both measured in mg). I’ve made an iOS Shortcut on the home screen that, when I press it, it brings up a box where I enter how many mg of whichever Med I’ve just taken. So then using the health app I can see graphs of my intake across days or hours. It’s pretty good watching my intake drop, on average, as there are bad days for sure. I’m fact I’m going to write up a proper thread on this and how others can make it.
I’m just sick of feeling suicidal. These meds aren’t even strong! I barely get a buzz from them and they definitely don’t stop my pain any more.
(So... when I started recording I was on DHC 510mg a day on average now I’m on 399mg. Once my Phenibut arrives I’m hoping that number will drop to 200mg a day. It’s the cost of all this that’s getting me down. I get codeine for free via NHS but DHC I pay extra for)
Years ago I began a legit script for codeine. I started taking more via CW, then got bored of the process and started buying additional meds elsewhere. As my intake raised my mental stability dropped and really fucked me up. I’ve already come off tramadol and Pregabalin (I was on double the daily dose for both those) CT but I’m finding it very difficult coming off of DHC right now. I keep trying to cut down my intake but I give up and take the normal amount the next day (normal amount for me is like 300mg DHC/day at least, 900mg at most - rarely though)
I need to shake it because I’m just fighting suicidal thoughts all the time. I don’t think I’ll do anything like that but I also don’t fully trust myself.
Thing is when I came off those other meds my state of mind was great so I could just weather through it.
My doc first put me on a small amount of diazepam but I exhausted that pretty quickly and won’t give me any more. I’m on Prozac and waiting for that to kick in. Tomorrow I should have some Phenibut arriving. I’ve had gaba drugs before and they work really well for me but I understand they’re pretty bad too so my plan is to only take them for 2 days on, 2 days off whilst rapidly lowering my opiate intake.
Thing is... I’m kinda wanting to come off everything so that I can occasionally take opiates as one might drink booze. I remember the early days when I was first prescribed these meds and how good they made me feel. I’d love to get to that point once more.
I had to go to the ER last night. We just had dinner at my moms and my mind just went crazy. I just wanted to fall down some stairs or have a gentle car crash because I was freaking out so much. The nurse that talked me down was wonderful.
Ps does anyone else track their drug intake? I use the Apple Health app on my phone. I’ve assigned DHC to Zinc and Codeine to Iron (as they’re both measured in mg). I’ve made an iOS Shortcut on the home screen that, when I press it, it brings up a box where I enter how many mg of whichever Med I’ve just taken. So then using the health app I can see graphs of my intake across days or hours. It’s pretty good watching my intake drop, on average, as there are bad days for sure. I’m fact I’m going to write up a proper thread on this and how others can make it.
I’m just sick of feeling suicidal. These meds aren’t even strong! I barely get a buzz from them and they definitely don’t stop my pain any more.
(So... when I started recording I was on DHC 510mg a day on average now I’m on 399mg. Once my Phenibut arrives I’m hoping that number will drop to 200mg a day. It’s the cost of all this that’s getting me down. I get codeine for free via NHS but DHC I pay extra for)
