jsnake
Greenlighter
Hi, I've been smoking the ganja close to daily for 2 years, maybe 2 and a half but am down to about once every half week-2 weeks inconsistently, done about 15-20 pills in my life, hit the booze this weekend hard given that it's Easter, smoked some pretty potent mull last night, and am presently trying to get wasted now.
Thing is, as of late I've kinda been a bit socially restricted, in that I find it harder to express my thoughts or what I'm thinking at the time. My word association is pretty bad in a verbal sense, today and last night I've been having trouble focusing on , had a few memory problems, like when I'm not focused on what someone is saying I generally don't have a clue what they said, been feeling a bit detached from life, a little slower and not quite here not quite there if you get what I mean. Thing is, I've been suffering a little from depression cos I've kind of always had problems expressing myself in a group situation, which is primarily why I don't have a lot of friends but anyway, never had a missus which probably explains partially at least why I don't have a lot of social confidence, and I really didn't make a lot out of the time I spent at school. In short my life isn't what I expected it to be. Lately I haven't been making a lot of jokes neither, like my sense of humour deteriorated.
Question is, how many of these things could be attributed to drug use and how many to depression? Am I headfucked from depressant dependence and abuse, am I just in a subconsciously bad mood all the time, or am I just being paranoid? I've always been fairly smart, just unfocused and easily distracted, and my brain is all I really have, apart from my parents. Have always been a bit socially awkward, kinda pay too much attention to what people think of me. Too much detail perhaps, but yeah, any help?
Thing is, as of late I've kinda been a bit socially restricted, in that I find it harder to express my thoughts or what I'm thinking at the time. My word association is pretty bad in a verbal sense, today and last night I've been having trouble focusing on , had a few memory problems, like when I'm not focused on what someone is saying I generally don't have a clue what they said, been feeling a bit detached from life, a little slower and not quite here not quite there if you get what I mean. Thing is, I've been suffering a little from depression cos I've kind of always had problems expressing myself in a group situation, which is primarily why I don't have a lot of friends but anyway, never had a missus which probably explains partially at least why I don't have a lot of social confidence, and I really didn't make a lot out of the time I spent at school. In short my life isn't what I expected it to be. Lately I haven't been making a lot of jokes neither, like my sense of humour deteriorated.
Question is, how many of these things could be attributed to drug use and how many to depression? Am I headfucked from depressant dependence and abuse, am I just in a subconsciously bad mood all the time, or am I just being paranoid? I've always been fairly smart, just unfocused and easily distracted, and my brain is all I really have, apart from my parents. Have always been a bit socially awkward, kinda pay too much attention to what people think of me. Too much detail perhaps, but yeah, any help?
I guess other cunts can't really judge from a forum topic whether weed is starting to send me round the twist. More of a social thing, even though I'm not that social when I'm stoned.