12/30/2013
I met my dream guy 24 hours ago. I was with him 21 hours. He is Indian, 31, post-doc, tall. We spent time in his home touching, hugging, cuddling, watching comedy, and sharing food. He is only looking to know more about himself and to enjoy company. He needs discretion. He is interested in yoga and meditation. He is 31; it happened to be his birthday.
I informed him about HSV; he asked first.
12/31/13
It feels emotionally satisfying. We discussed the question, what do I want. He suggested a few things that I wasn’t assertive enough to state. A) Someone to be a father to my daughter. B) Someone to have an emotional relationship. He identified A and B, suggested that I need both, and subsequently stated that he can’t be either. Not the best planned approach on his part, and it was painful to hear my opportunities closing, even though the reality of it is okay with me. Today we both thought friends with benefits could be a perfect fit... A nightly routine, with a day off now and then…
A liter of wine and he opened to just what I was craving... Family and the roles spouses play. I provoked him by comparing men and women, to apples and oranges, as women and men are not equal but have simply different responsibilities. The husband’s role is to protect and keep the family a full belly. The wife’s role is children, care for his meals, sexual desires, and generally make his life easy. At this point I nearly lost my ability to speak, and I told him that he is my dream guy, dream husband…
But he is only my Daddy, and I could not have a better one. He’s organically dominant and coming into his true role, his true self. Already successful, creative, intelligent, curious, and seeking spirituality, he has unspeakable potential. I’m going to evaluate in what areas he could improve. I am opening him; I can do it in an organized way to pull his maximum potential into us.
I am learning who I am when I’m in submission. During submission I have a feeling that resembles lack of willpower, but it doesn’t seem like that is what is happening. Afterward, and now 7 hours later I feel strengthened, encouraged, and motivated to do well in my life and maximize my time. (The energy needs to be directed to the right endeavors.) He asked good questions regarding my troubling decision I’m in the process of making.
I’m learning the basics of giving oral now. I feel so open and trippy. I’m playing with his foreskin, he’s taking our media, we enjoy and delete. He saw in full morning light on video how much I enjoyed sucking his cock. I saw actual fulfillment in my expression, watching myself suck him. He is dangerous for my heart if I do not maintain control of my fantasies.
He’s mentoring me. We aren’t planning any of this, it’s organic. Time flies away. We do cooking, we enjoy the same cuisines. We are both creative in the kitchen and bedroom. We have not had sex because wants to research HSV2. Our tension is thick as he’s never penetrated me…
I met my dream guy 24 hours ago. I was with him 21 hours. He is Indian, 31, post-doc, tall. We spent time in his home touching, hugging, cuddling, watching comedy, and sharing food. He is only looking to know more about himself and to enjoy company. He needs discretion. He is interested in yoga and meditation. He is 31; it happened to be his birthday.
I informed him about HSV; he asked first.
12/31/13
It feels emotionally satisfying. We discussed the question, what do I want. He suggested a few things that I wasn’t assertive enough to state. A) Someone to be a father to my daughter. B) Someone to have an emotional relationship. He identified A and B, suggested that I need both, and subsequently stated that he can’t be either. Not the best planned approach on his part, and it was painful to hear my opportunities closing, even though the reality of it is okay with me. Today we both thought friends with benefits could be a perfect fit... A nightly routine, with a day off now and then…
A liter of wine and he opened to just what I was craving... Family and the roles spouses play. I provoked him by comparing men and women, to apples and oranges, as women and men are not equal but have simply different responsibilities. The husband’s role is to protect and keep the family a full belly. The wife’s role is children, care for his meals, sexual desires, and generally make his life easy. At this point I nearly lost my ability to speak, and I told him that he is my dream guy, dream husband…
But he is only my Daddy, and I could not have a better one. He’s organically dominant and coming into his true role, his true self. Already successful, creative, intelligent, curious, and seeking spirituality, he has unspeakable potential. I’m going to evaluate in what areas he could improve. I am opening him; I can do it in an organized way to pull his maximum potential into us.
I am learning who I am when I’m in submission. During submission I have a feeling that resembles lack of willpower, but it doesn’t seem like that is what is happening. Afterward, and now 7 hours later I feel strengthened, encouraged, and motivated to do well in my life and maximize my time. (The energy needs to be directed to the right endeavors.) He asked good questions regarding my troubling decision I’m in the process of making.
I’m learning the basics of giving oral now. I feel so open and trippy. I’m playing with his foreskin, he’s taking our media, we enjoy and delete. He saw in full morning light on video how much I enjoyed sucking his cock. I saw actual fulfillment in my expression, watching myself suck him. He is dangerous for my heart if I do not maintain control of my fantasies.
He’s mentoring me. We aren’t planning any of this, it’s organic. Time flies away. We do cooking, we enjoy the same cuisines. We are both creative in the kitchen and bedroom. We have not had sex because wants to research HSV2. Our tension is thick as he’s never penetrated me…
