BPD person seeking help with addiction to Meth

[Mibz]

Hello all I'm new to this and seeking some guidance. I'm battling a meth issue for 30 plus years. I go long periods without it, then relapse. Usually do to running into someone who indulges, and not able to avoid them. For instance, I live in a small HUD complex. Everyone here has a disability of some sort. A neighbor who is someone I can relate to, still is active in her drug usage. I can't move, but have put my name on other listings. I will stay away from her for days, some times weeks. Then we connect somehow and then it starts all over again. I also have BPD so, one of my parts keeps me active and the other parts hate that its happening. Working with my therapist helps, but ultimately it is my choice or addiction that keeps me active.
Advice?

 

[ReoccurringOccurrences]

Hello i also have BPD and when it comes to relapsing it’s normally caused by my mood swings turning into not caring and losing self control. So when I feel like I’ve given up or suddenly not care about my future the best thing to do is (although hard to start) reach out to friends until I feel better which could possibly help you too.

Also regarding your neighbour couldn’t you tell them your situation in hopes of not tempting you to relapse if she doesn’t respect your choice I’d say cut as much contact and focus on your life. Hope that any of this will help u and wish you well for the future.

 

[Mibz]

Hello i also have BPD and when it comes to relapsing it’s normally caused by my mood swings turning into not caring and losing self control. So when I feel like I’ve given up or suddenly not care about my future the best thing to do is (although hard to start) reach out to friends until I feel better which could possibly help you too.

Also regarding your neighbour couldn’t you tell them your situation in hopes of not tempting you to relapse if she doesn’t respect your choice I’d say cut as much contact and focus on your life. Hope that any of this will help u and wish you well for the future.

Thank you, there are times I feel the 2 "parts" are arguing in my head yes, indulge, no be good...SMH it's exausting at times. I'm in a truama zoom group, and talk with my theripist but seems never at the moment I need support. I'm doing pretty much what you suggested, just feel like I need a babysitter at times...LOL for real though. As for the neighbor, she trys to respect my boundries (when in place) but giving mixed signals from me doesn't help. Thank you for your reply, it's much appreceiated!

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I think a lot of the time, people keep using because they do it with someone else. Whatever you can do to minimize that as much as possible will likely help. If you've been using meth for 30 years, I kind of fear for the health of your brain and your heart. Sounds to me though that you have some good insight, so pat yourself on the back! Other than that, I think rehab could help a lot, keep you clean and recovering from BPD, then you get a fresh start. Been to rehab before? Good luck.

 

[Mibz]

I think a lot of the time, people keep using because they do it with someone else. Whatever you can do to minimize that as much as possible will likely help. If you've been using meth for 30 years, I kind of fear for the health of your brain and your heart. Sounds to me though that you have some good insight, so pat yourself on the back! Other than that, I think rehab could help a lot, keep you clean and recovering from BPD, then you get a fresh start. Been to rehab before? Good luck.

I appreciate your reply I should clarify some things I have a very healthy heart and all my organs just so you know. And clarification you cannot recover from borderline personality disorder AKA BPD. It is something from trauma and your life over and over and the only thing that helps is going to trauma groups and talking it through and understanding you're not frozen in that time. Where the event took place no medications will help BPD and due to the trauma in my life helped the addiction along. It's difficult when you have parts of you saying let's get high and another part saying no that's not a good idea...I do appreciate your feedback & thank you.

I have gone to rehab a few times, if I could stay in one personality long enough I wouldn't have this problem... it's a lifelong struggle.