So today is yet another boring day at my desk job at a failing small business. Dont get me wrong we are doing everything we can to stay but I do customer service mostly and theres a direct correlation between crap sold and work for me so yeah, no garbage out equals no garbage in makes less phone calls.
Anyway I feel like I am approaching a critical point in my life. With all of these changes occurring in fast order its almost like for once i dont know what tomorrow will be like. That might sound hard to accept to people but this is a former heroin addict talking so yeah days that dont repeat the same cycle are always welcome.
Lately I have had more projects going on then I can keep up with. Its all basically extractions of compounds found in plants but its a lot of work when your doing 2 at once and some other silly things, making wine trying to grow lavender to make lavender oil eventually as well as various inorganic chemistry... sometimes i wake up at 630am so i can work in the lab before i have to get ready for work at 9 only to come back at 630pm and stay in there till 9pm. And since its straight forward motion all projects are creating messes that are piling up so that looks bad and is just unorganized. But I dont think anyone gets just how fulfilling it is to to watch progress happen so i could probably sit there and "watch the lavender grow" just like i tell people when i do anything in chemistry its largely "watching water boil" but thats exciting shit for me.
I cant wait for the summer as it makes the first year single in 6 years coupled with 0 addiction to heroin/crack the first time im not an alcoholic and single the first time i have a lab of decent size probably spent a grand on it so far, the first time im good enough at home made gun powder to maybe make some stuff for the 4th of july. Once i let go of methadone i literally had nothing binding me anymore for the first time if i want to walk off into the woods for 2 weeks i wont get sick and i wont feel like im leaving my g/f behind. I am infinitely thankful her and i are still best friends...
So much so we went to a datsik set together and she absolutely loved that shit. She was always a goth/metal head in high school and for 6 years we were together i couldnt get her to come to shit because it wasnt her music she claimed, comes to the club with me on my bday when we arent dating (she is my best friend after all) and she had a great time there so she chose to come to datsik too. There was mosh pits and sampling from metal songs Eminem, god if it wasnt a show tailor made for who she was. She said to me "i didnt know electronic music was like that!" i didnt either. I am happy because this also means she will come out with me more. She was always depressive and socially shy but now we can all change who we are now. I was worried she would have gotten over her heroin addiction but still never made the large changes needed to lock that shit in the past.
Good days are on the horizon... i think. I have also learned to be cautious and have realistic expectations but I couldnt have predicted any of this shit last year so i am optimistic about this whole thing.'
Plus in 1 weeks time i am going to FL to visit my friend and go to "tipper and friends" I havent left the state in forever and have never gone on a plane alone and havent seen my friend in 6 years... since before i got into heroin and we went to ultra in 2010 all those years ago.
Anyway I feel like I am approaching a critical point in my life. With all of these changes occurring in fast order its almost like for once i dont know what tomorrow will be like. That might sound hard to accept to people but this is a former heroin addict talking so yeah days that dont repeat the same cycle are always welcome.
Lately I have had more projects going on then I can keep up with. Its all basically extractions of compounds found in plants but its a lot of work when your doing 2 at once and some other silly things, making wine trying to grow lavender to make lavender oil eventually as well as various inorganic chemistry... sometimes i wake up at 630am so i can work in the lab before i have to get ready for work at 9 only to come back at 630pm and stay in there till 9pm. And since its straight forward motion all projects are creating messes that are piling up so that looks bad and is just unorganized. But I dont think anyone gets just how fulfilling it is to to watch progress happen so i could probably sit there and "watch the lavender grow" just like i tell people when i do anything in chemistry its largely "watching water boil" but thats exciting shit for me.
I cant wait for the summer as it makes the first year single in 6 years coupled with 0 addiction to heroin/crack the first time im not an alcoholic and single the first time i have a lab of decent size probably spent a grand on it so far, the first time im good enough at home made gun powder to maybe make some stuff for the 4th of july. Once i let go of methadone i literally had nothing binding me anymore for the first time if i want to walk off into the woods for 2 weeks i wont get sick and i wont feel like im leaving my g/f behind. I am infinitely thankful her and i are still best friends...
So much so we went to a datsik set together and she absolutely loved that shit. She was always a goth/metal head in high school and for 6 years we were together i couldnt get her to come to shit because it wasnt her music she claimed, comes to the club with me on my bday when we arent dating (she is my best friend after all) and she had a great time there so she chose to come to datsik too. There was mosh pits and sampling from metal songs Eminem, god if it wasnt a show tailor made for who she was. She said to me "i didnt know electronic music was like that!" i didnt either. I am happy because this also means she will come out with me more. She was always depressive and socially shy but now we can all change who we are now. I was worried she would have gotten over her heroin addiction but still never made the large changes needed to lock that shit in the past.
Good days are on the horizon... i think. I have also learned to be cautious and have realistic expectations but I couldnt have predicted any of this shit last year so i am optimistic about this whole thing.'
Plus in 1 weeks time i am going to FL to visit my friend and go to "tipper and friends" I havent left the state in forever and have never gone on a plane alone and havent seen my friend in 6 years... since before i got into heroin and we went to ultra in 2010 all those years ago.
