it seem like i can never do anything right, i can never make up my mind about anything. one day i hate alcohol the next ill risk pretty everything to get drunk one last time. If my parents dont let me stay with them at lest til iget in a program im going to do one of two things im going to go back to heroin or im going to kill myself. i swear id get more time time for a drunk in public than id ever get for a pocession charge. The worst part is i dont even realy want to get sober, i cant stand the thought of having nothing to kill the anxiety make the hours go by faster. its times like thes i think suicide is probably the better option, that way at least my family will know my troubles are over.
For some the anxiety is a product of the substance use and sobriety eventually eliminates the anxiety or at least presents a clear way to manage it and it becomes a minor nuisance instead of something that rules us. Using to aid the anxiety is robbing Peter to pay Paul, and in this case we make ourselves both St. Peter and St. Paul. It is a temporary solution that makes the over all situation worse and worse. Sobriety can be dull, no doubt, but it doesn't have to be.
