Mental Health Bipolar/Schizophrenia coping mechanisms?

[mrflowers00]

i've found meds to be very ineffective at treating bipolar/schizophrenia i just go with it but i don't listen to the voices they always got me in trouble as a kid and i have homicidal/suicidal ideation so if i were to do what the voices say i'd be in a bad spot

 

[20$Millionaire]

I have read now in two places on the forum that CBD is helpful with schizophrenia. I looked it up, and there's some for sale on Amazon by Cibdex, but the dosage is like 160 dollars for 500mg of the stuff. I have schizophrenia as well, and would like to know if anyone has found anything cheaper, as my pharm. meds are about 20 dollars every month, whereas this would be an insane amount of money to sustain.

 

[defanged]

DX: Bipolar, type 1 (w/ psychotic features), ADHD (to a MUCH lesser extent), Drud addiction/dependence (duh, I'm here), and (the always exact worst possible moment for this shit) occasional panic d/o. I take lithium, geodon, just started latuda (regular anti-psychotics make me blast into psychotic mania within 48 hours, so this has been a god-send. an expensive - and uncovered - god-send.), serequel PRN (I've been doing this long enough to know when I'm starting to cycle up, and 400- 800 mg can usually short-circuit that bullshit), alprazolam ER, Dexedrine IR, Dexedrine Spansules, synthroid (the lithium destroyed my whole thyroid thing), and for when I'm really out of control (of course, at this point, convincing me to take the stuff is next to impossible, but my psy doc is an optimist, I suppose), olanzepine ODT (the kind that dissolves in your mouth).

I was diagnosed at 15. I'm 34. This disease (bipolar), combined with my addiction(s), has literally destroyed my life. All my friends are off getting married or working their 6-figure jobs or living in some way that is so beyond my reach we might as well be two different species. I never finished college. I have no marketable skills except writing and photography, and without a degree in either, might as well not waste the effort. I weighed 95 lbs and was an athlete in high school. Now, because of psych meds, I'm hovering around 200 and, because of an unfortunate car accident (no, mom, I wasn't manic! jeez! just a goddamn accident! Coulda happened to anybody!), I'm basically crippled/in constant pain. I live with my parents. We are ready to kill each other. I've been to so many rehabs and psych hospitals, I have no fucking clue how many it's been of either. Honestly, no clue. I feel like I am FUCKED in every possible way. Kill me.

Anyway, original post. Bad idea to go off psych meds w/o doc approval or to take weird drugs you order on Amazon. My life is a waste, but a lot of people with severe mental illnesses get their shit under control, and actually are successful in whatever they choose to pursue. Don't give up, blah, blah. Doctors generally do a better job at psych diagnostics than a sick person with a connection to the internet. Have I said all the stuff I feel I have to say w/ posts like this? I don't know. At this point, I don't give a fuck anymore. Sorry.

OK, OK - I'm not that big an asshole (yes, I am). I've had a lot of firsthand experience with psych meds, docs, diagnoses, mental illness & all its wonderful manifestations, hospitals, restraints, etc., etc., and as this is - unfortunately - probably the single thing in my life that I know the most about, any questions from anyone are welcome. I will take anything anyone has to say seriously.

EDIT - I have no clue why this posted like a million times. I'm really, really sorry!!!! I didn't do it on purpose (I'm not sure how I did it)... But, anyway, sorry...

 

[herbavore]

No problem, defanged. I deleted it for you. Welcome to Bluelight.

 

[paranoid android]

Im saying all these diagnoses by someone who first tries u on 1 med then it doesn work they still cant get it right even after say 5 different meds they already tried and they still cant figure it out wat the problem is (if there is any at all) anyone can be diagnosed doesn't mean they have what has been labelled . its all in peoples heads cos society has 2 come up with something like you said big pharma is big business

It's all in peoples heads? I find that to not only be a rather foolish and ignorant comment but a offensive one. Brain tumors, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and ALS are diseases that are all in your head to but just like mental illness are very debilitating and can kill you. I really hate that argument because you know apparently diseases that are effecting areas of your body above the neck aren't as real as the ones that effect the rest of your body 8) . The first med i was tried on for bipolar was seroquel which was expensive yes but this was because i didn't want the blood tests that came with Lithium or Valproate. The 2 main medications used in bipolar disorder (depending on what kind you have) are Lithium or a Valproate suck as divalproex (trade names Epival and Depakote) and both of these medications are cheap as fuck. I did try Divalproex (epival) which didn't really work for me as it does not help bipolar depression and didn't seem to help mixed states.

These days i take lamotrigine, seroquel, bupropion and also the tricyclic anti-depressant trimipramine. The bupropion is mainly helping the seasonal affective disorder but it does help lift my mood as well and since it is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor like trimipramine the 2 drugs may augment each other. The trimipramine also helps me sleep though is not as good at that as i would like. The lamotrigine and seroquel also help the depression but my depression was so bad the fall and winter that basically nothing seemed to help.

I just hate it when people say it's all in your head when referring to mental illness. Would you say the same thing to some poor person suffering from Lou Gehrig's disease? 8)

 

[bees_knees]

Thirding Clozapine.

Don't be too worried. Myocarditis and low white blood cell count are considerably rare. They are also risk factors for Abilify but to a much lower degree. The problem with past Clozapine deaths is they didn't catch it early enough, and there's a window of at least a few months. They will check your blood every week for the first few months, get a baseline echocardiogram and one at a regular basis after that to see if your heart has changed at all. If it doesn't occur then the chance of it occurring later is extremely low but they continue to monitor every two weeks then a month, or something. The protocol is pretty sound and the changes of dying on it now are exceptionally low.

I am not actually on Clozapine because my condition is no longer serious enough, it's all more of a depression now according to the docs. I asked to go on Clozapine and they suggested I was just depressed at this point and it wasn't worth the blood tests both experientially for me and financially for them. My brother is on it and he was fucked 6 months ago. Now he's doing alright but like me when I was severe he is stuck in the same state of mind all day with having to force motivation and he grinds his need to experience life and what he could be doing up against the fact his brain is haywire and won't let him. He was actually on Clozapine years ago and was doing so well (house, car, girlfriend, job, respect of almost everyone in this country town we're near) some doctor said he was misdiagnosed. They took him off it and it all came back and he became irrational and changed his mind about who he was, and went and did amphetamines for the better of 3 years. When I saw him at a club once where he was working security (he wasn't living with us) he looked fucking paranoid out of his mind with these protruding eyes, people would have been laughing at him, yet he was convinced he was okay when you talked to him. Just a typical schizophrenic attitude really.

But they put him back on Clozapine and he's made a big improvement but since this is his second time and it's more serious, and with the 3 years of amphetamines, he's not only schizophrenic but kinda fried too. I think the fact he's fried is more why it's not working as well this time. He works a job though.

It's funny watching someone so like you - your brother - go through exactly what you went through then come up with the same 'solutions' and theories and denials...

But yeah my case manager said he's seen people take Clozapine and just return to normality.

Look into it son. Don't rot in these purgatory-like schizophrenia symptoms.

The newer antipsychotics use Clozapine as the prototype, such as Zyprexa and Saphris. They work in a similar way, but aren't as effective. Try them out, because you have to go through a few before they'll let you try Clozapine, complain everything still sucks (if it does) and they'll let you take Clozapine.

 

[teliko]

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at 17 I have a very effective however very chaotic way of coping with my thought disorder. At 17 when my schizophrenia was developing, unbeknown to me why, I started talking to myself (first sign of madness by the way), I've done this for the last ten years and like I said unbeknown to me I was walking around my parents village at 2-3 in the morning talking to myself, talking to myself all day while everyone was at work and I was alone, and it took me the best part of ten years to realise why I do this. This is why; I have a thought disorder, you cant THINK and TALK at the same time, so to cope with my troubling thoughts and what have you I talk to myself deliriously. Yes this makes me slightly mad and when I get so delirious I'm a manic lunatic rabbiting away to myself but that is how I cope with schizophrenia.

 

[herbavore]

teliko, it is inspiring to me to read your post. It takes a lot of courage to deal with those symptoms and you have my admiration for accepting what you do and why you do it and recognizing that you are, in fact, coping.

 

[weekend addiction]

Weed in general actually helps my mood swings and anxiety when used in moderation, so I might try the BHO for the hell of it. I just googled the CBD, and it seems as though it's pretty easy to get your hands on it; but it's a little pricey. Nothing I can't manage, though. Christmas is rolling around, I'm sure I'll get some cash if not a job pretty soon.

Thank you so, so much for your help. You have no idea what it means to me.

Marijuana has been the most effective medication for my mood swings with the least side effects. Its not strong enough to do the job on its own though. I still take klonopin and now seroquel too. I definitely need the weed to wake up in the morning because the Seroquel is very sedating to say the least.

EDIT: On a side note I become extremely unstable when I run out of weed.

 

[Shrooms00087]

I often cope by playing games, reading, watching videos, I'm constantly thinking about ethical dilemmas; anything to kill brain power. I did have a short story I was debating on posting in Words but perhaps it could serve here.

Every night I recount my sins, my life, where I am going, how I came into this being presently. The emotions abstracted from the overall narrative is nothing but a spiral leading to the abyss. When I enter the abyss there is always an effigy, an offering to the super-ego. The gravity of depression is now so dense it has corrupted the very fabric of my mind. Depression is very similar to ink in water, it monopolizes a fluid structure. I sympathize with the victims of seppuku, spilling your guts everywhere renouncing life and limb. My vaporizer, like a Swiss watch, is ready to deliver me from this corruption. After finishing the bowl the condensed depression is released out of its cosmic egg. I have been given room to breathe. I then return to the initial troubling questions of the night and reevaluate them. The universe that springs, each time from the egg, has a coherent cosmology. My emotions become rampant upon dwelling on them, trivializing them is the release. I often have a favorite mantra by Chesterton, 'No one can think my case more ludicrous than I think it myself; no reader can accuse me here of trying to make a fool of him: I am the fool of this story, and no rebel shall hurl me from my throne. I freely confess all my idiotic ambitions'.

You can split a circle but you cannot rule out harmony. All you have to do is conduct yourself. I think back to my Kabuki death and realize it was an unfolding --short lived, drama. This happens every night and I considerate it a blessing. I step into new shoes everyday except reality is still routine. "“I Die Daily” (1 Cor 15:31)"

I highly recommend Joseph Campbell. Part of my problem that I found is I have lost all sense of Awe. If anyone has ever given me sight in the search of Awe, it would be this man.