As far as the high IQ thing, if you start to read five or twenty books on bipolar disorder you will notice that this is quite common among people who have bipolar disorder. We tend to be rather intelligent and creative when compared to the rest of the population. As far as accepting the diagnosis, once you read more about it and learn what it is all about the disorder becomes far less frightening. The disorder is very treatable, but it can be a pain in the neck to find the right medications and therapist for you. Just keep working through your treatment, take the medications, and put the legwork in. Eventually things will come together.
The worst thing that you can do, honestly, is continue to use. I am not perfect, myself, because I still occasionally drink, and in the past I have had many relapses with illicit substances. If I recall correctly, as I believe I wrote earlier in this thread, as many as 60% or more people with bipolar disorder will experience substance abuse issues at some point in their lives.
Things could be much worse. At least these days we have a lot of information about bipolar disorder and how to treat it. If you were schizophrenic you wouldn't have a good chance of recovery and living a normal life. Once you find the right medications and jive with a good therapist, your chances of doing whatever you want in life as a bipolar person are very, very high. The disorder can be a huge hindrance, however; I didn't get my associates degree until age 27. I'm hoping I will finish my bachelors degree before age 31; I probably will, but you never know. Just keep pushing onward at your own pace. The worst thing that you can do is to give up.
I wish I were at a better place in life right now, but comparing where I am now to where I was ten years ago I am very pleased. A diagnosis of bipolar disorder is very far from the end of the world
This is simply not true. There are many differences between persons who have bipolar disorder and those who do not have bipolar disorder. I will let you go to the library or Amazon.com to read a few books about bipolar disorder on your own so you don't have to take my word for it, but I will summarize:
The physical brain structure of persons with bipolar disorder differs markedly from those who do not have the disorder. Studies have shown that persons with bipolar disorder tend to have higher IQs and higher levels of creativity than persons without the disorder. The way in which the brains of bipolar people process certain key neurotransmitters is also quite different from mentally healthy people. We have much medical evidence these days that shows without any doubt that bipolar disorder has a rather strong genetic component. Lastly, the symptoms that bipolar people experience are absolutely nothing at all like what mentally healthy people experience in their day-to-day lives.
Mental illness is very real, but unfortunately most people, like yourself, are completely ignorant when it comes to the topic so you just don't know anything about it at all; it isn't taught in public schools as a requirement in health education and most people will never learn about it unless they major in psychology, go to college for psychiatry, or know someone with the disorder.
