^^^ i totally agree. it takes a lot to deal with and try and help a friend/loved one. It says a lot about someones character when they go to great lengths and make sacrafices to do w.e it takes to see that someone gets help. i commend you for it, because there are unfortunately not too many people of that character in this world anymore.
if you can do it safely, and properly monitor the drugs you administer him. a proper Taper is vital. Try not to overdue the ammount of benzo's you are giving him, try and give him the least ammount you can each time in the begining to the weening process will be easier. Most detoxs that are good try to do the same thing, people will always say they are in more pain or discomfort then the really are just to get more drugs, but it prolongs their pain in the long run. If u can check his BP, heartrate, and temperatue every 4 hours or so. They are some of the best ways to medical check someone w/d serverity. Its tough, because he isnt willing to go to the hospital, so your obviously going to have to make due at home. but atleast thats better then him doing it by himself without any medical/medication assistance.
i know he is trying to keep his job, and a leave of abcense is in the cards for him right now, but if you can some how persuade him to get treatment, i suggest Outpatient at the very least, and seeing a doctor to try and get a perscription of antabuse, or any other type of anti-drink or craving suppresant medication. AA is also neverrrr a bad idea, i have been attending AA/NA meetings for years, and even though im not clean at the moment ive had period where i have been and a big reason for it was 12step programs, and the empathy, identification, and fellowship you get there.
And lastly if you can convince him to get into an inpatient rehab, i would suggest The Salvation Army, ive been to dozensss of High Dollar rehabs when i had insurance, and the Salvation army ARC(adult rehabilitation Center) were by far the rest. doesnt cost a penny to stay there, way better food then most rehabs, work therapy, 12 step meetings everynight, all sorts of educational class's on addiction, and much more. They are all a bit different but most run on the same conceptual principles. Ive been to the Phoenix, Jersey City, and Newark ones. They are a bit tough at first when u are trying to transition, but once u get used to the schedule and get a good lil job at the facility, it really is an amazingg place. all the friends i made at the one in Phoenix are still sober to this day. im actually considering going back out to phoenix if my brother is willing to fly me out. but of course like the good addict i am i wanna do it on my own lol but my track history shows me that i dont usually do well when its "my way."
Good Luck to you and your friend, you are hopefully saving his life, and remind him that if he doesnt do this he can forget about his full or 80% pention, because odds are he will die before he ever see's it. God Forbid