benzodiazipines for anxiety / history of substance abuse

[lemongaga]

(past)
seriously. I've been abusing alcohol heavily to self medicate my chronic anxiety on and off for the past ten years or so.. I've been to detox a few times, rehab, and hospitals. Of course I've dealt with legal trouble as well, because drinking gets me into a lot of trouble as well. I've tried counseling, medication, group therapy, holistic treatment, diet change, church, and more than often: trying to force myself to "stop being weak." Nothing works. According to the state I'm bipolar which qualifies me for disability (I receive SSI and SSDI) here are some of the medications I've tried: adderall celexa lexapro effexor wellbutrin buspar lamictal seroquel abilify dalmane ambien trazodone diazepam straterra buspar vistaril. All of those drugs had severe side effects I could not deal with. The cons outweighed the pros. The adderall turned into severe abuse and I became psychotic for months... It took about 6 months after an overdose to calm down. I've never experienced mania in my life without drugs so I know for a fact I'm not bipolar. I'm often depressed but mostly anxious. I have VERY lightly abused a few prescription painkillers but honestly not enough to ever call it a serious problem...might have been heading that way for a bit but I sobered up for 18 months, where I put all my strength and energy into "recovery." I committed myself to AA (the worst program alive) and went to therapy every week. I spoke with my case manager and continued searching for spirituality. I got a job, moderate exercise, and ate will. I was still dying inside. I went to a hospital that put me on heavy mood stabilizers that triggered compulsive over eating which is horrible since I have underlying health issues so I had to quit. The other unbearable side effects I've experienced from medication is insomnia, tardive dyskinesia, heart palpitations, swollen throat, cystic acne, and worsened suicidal thoughts. Not worth it, at all. My anxiety is chronic and involves obsessions, social distress, and panic attacks...I used to have them really bad when I was younger and they are coming back. I contacted a load of psychiatrists and none are accepting new clients. The agency I'm assigned to does not prescribe addictive medication especially to people with substance abuse issues. my neighbors use xanax and I have connections if needed be. I'd rather try a lighter one though such klonopin. I've heard that it is the less addicting? I'm not drug seeking...just want to treat my symptoms. i've used ativan and valium before and they were life savers but I never went after them hard because I was so scared of withdrawal or adding more problems. Thing is, I think about killing myself every single day...maybe I'm a person that just needs a real anxiety medicine, for life?? Any thoughts on this subject would be appreciated. I feel doomed at the moment. thankyou

oh wait dalmane worked beautifully but it was only a temporary prescription and i was too scared to ask the doctor for a refill because i'm insanely terrified of that kind of pill addiction

 

[Journey]

TBH- If you've had addiction problems before with alcohol, then I would highly suggest you not get into the habit of taking any kind of benzo. You can get really hooked on them, and when you run out which a lot of people do when they get hooked, the withdrawals are way worse then alcohol withdraws and then your anxiety will be 1000% worse.
Try excercising regularly, eating healthy, and maybe lift some weights. All naturally.
If that doesn't seem to help. You can always try to go on a medication that has low abuse potential such as Gabapentin, which is in fact prescribed off-label as a biopolar medication, and rarely for anxiety. I take Gabapentin and found it works much better than any benzo I've tried including Xanax and Klonopin.

Good Luck and be safe.

 

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

Hello lemongaga, can I suggest breaking your original post into paragraphs? This will make it much easier and more inviting to read which usually results in more replies.

I don't have any experience with your particular question however I would strongly recommend consulting a medical expert along with a drug and alcohol counsellor to aid your decisions.

Best of luck.

 

[clear_sky]

Starting on benzodiazapines would not be a good idea for you, my friend. They are incredibly addictive and withdrawals are not fun, I speak from bitter experience.
I would recommend regulating your nutrition, try a mix of healthy food and vitamin/mineral supplements. It may not cure you completely, but it will definitely help you feel better. Exercise is a fantastic way to release the feel-good chemicals.
Benzos will just block out the problem. Proper nutrition and exercise will strengthen you and eventually you will be able to deal with the problem on your own.

Peace

 

[modern buddha]

Lemongaga,

I've changed the title of your thread and hope that it helps people understand what you're trying to say.

I agree with CotB. Go. See. A. Doctor.

 

[sarcophagus.heels]

I know my psychiatrist won't prescribe me benzos for that very reason. He knows I've had (and have) substance abuse problems, and he is perceptive enough to figure that I would probably end up abusing benzos if he prescribed them (and honestly, I would.) He especially won't give me a script because I drink excessively - benzos and alcohol is a dangerous combo. Seeing as you've been drinking to curb your anxiety, benzos would be a bad idea. See a psychiatrist. You can try to find other ways to battle your anxiety. And while you're at it, get a counselor to help develop healthier coping mechanisms.

 

[thujone]

Yeah, benzos is just taking another road to abuse. Can't be psychologically dependent on em without being physically addicted, and when you've past the point of no return then weaning off them is just another long, hard road to go down. I hope this doesn't come across as sounding condescending but if you left drug abuse in the past why are you looking for an answer to the problem that involves getting into some drugs for the rest of your life? Just because it gets written on a prescription pad doesn't make it healthy for you

 

[crestfallen]

I think klonopin is a great choice for controlling anxiety. You don't get f'd up and do stupid things that you don't remember like xanax. It kicks in just a tiny bit slower but it last 3x as long. It just takes the anxiety away. Gabapentin is a non addictive med that works great for anxiety, just not quite as good as benzos.

Just control your use, maybe have someone dole out your medications each morning so you can't abuse them. Vyvanse might be a good alternative to adderall bc it increases focus without speeding you up as much. Use what has worked for you in the past and don't be afraid to ask for it