Hey
@happyone 
I'm writing the rest, I just wanted you to stay on long enough to read it!
I totally understand your situation. It is not uncommon. I have a Grandmother who is currently ~83 and she has dementia and potentially parkinson's disease. My Grandfather died ~20 years ago and the experience broke my Grandmother so badly that she never really recovered to who she was.
After my Grandfather's death, one of the things they did for my Grandmother was prescribe her Lorazepam (Ativan) among other stuff, like an SSRI I believe. My Grandmother was a teetotaler. She would drink a glass of wine if you insisted she simply had to try it, but otherwise, she didn't even like cigarettes. Well, it turns out that my Grandma "responded well" to the Lorazepam. She ended up with the classic "infinity prescription" that some people get. She was on Lorazepam and also Alprazolam (Xanax) at times for 15-20 years straight. Her physician (a small, rural town in southern Illinois) retired and her new doc was young and ready to right the wrongs of his predecessors. My Grandmother's Lorazepam had to go apparently. No consideration was given to her health, age or anything else.
Side Note: I believe folks who are older and becoming free of their earthly responsibilities like work, parenting etc. should be able to take whatever the fuck they want. Their race is over and they just want to enjoy the last part of their lives.
My Grandmother had not been aware of how badly she was dependent on the medication. The Benzodiazepine withdrawal reduced her to the state of an infant, screaming, crying, pissing herself, begging for medication and then sometimes sleeping for 5-10 minutes at a time. I was desperately trying to get her help. She once went to the local hospital. They were sympathetic and gave her a few days worth of medicine, though we were still right back where we started.
Moral of the story, my Grandmother was put on a medication without having any knowledge whatsoever of the dangers/risks. She was maintained on this medication for decades without issue. The medication was then violently ripped away, sending my dear Grandma into a living hell that still brings tears to my eyes when I imagine how she looked during the withdrawal; how she would beg me like a starving orphan to find her something to make it stop. The doctors generally do not care and any kind of blame for the issues of dependence/tolerance are easily pushed onto the shoulders or the patients. Maybe they didn't use it right? Maybe they liked it too much? Maybe it's the fault of big pharma? Whatever it is, you sure as shit know that the prescribing doctor is not at fault in any way, in any practice, in any universe.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I truly understand and that I have your back in this. I know it's difficult and terrible. Just know that there are people like me in front of their computers right now who care about you and your situation. We are here to help people like you because we love helping people. We put all of our drug escapades to good use here. Hopefully we can give you some advice and peace of mind.
Clonidine
This is essentially a medication to lower blood pressure. This effect seems to produce a feedback loop between the body and mind in that the mind feels the body relaxing, tension releasing and in turn, this convinces your mind that you are feeling less stressed. This is the best way I can describe it.
You are aware, I'm sure, of the feeling of incredible tension, heart palpitations/rapid heart rate, a sense of impending doom and an overwhelming urge to move your legs. Clonidine really shines in taking the sharp edges off of these symptoms. You will feel much less keyed up, anxious and/or nervous.
Likewise, Clonidine is a very useful sleep aid, not just for your situation, I feel it's a great choice for lots of people. I still use it to this day when I'm having trouble sleeping the same way a person might pop an antihistamine to get to sleep. It works great and the side effects are minimal if at all present. For someone in withdrawal like yourself, this is likely going to be 0.1mg -0.2mg Clonidine either 2 or 3 times per day. In my case, I found I felt better using a lower dose during the day, but would take a larger dose in the evening to induce sleep.
Gabapentin
Trade name Neurontin. I'm sure you've heard of this stuff. It's a drug I commonly recommend to folks in Opioid withdrawal. Its effectiveness in treating these symptoms is uncontested in our world and it along with Clonidine are the dynamic duo of withdrawal medications. If nothing else is available, I tell people these two together can make it work. It's also effective for withdrawal from sedative/hypnotics like Benzo's and Alcohol, though I have less experience with its use for this purpose.
Gabapentin will help a lot with those feelings of tension also. It's greatest effect IMO is the reduction of Restless Legs Syndrome. It can neutralize that urge to move and allow you to get some sleep. Not only that, Gabapentin has been shown to increase the "value", if you will, of sleep. Folks who take Gabapentin have been shown to get proportionately more out of their sleep if you can believe that. I can personally attest to this effect. Assuming that you're currently not getting the sleep you really want, it could be really helpful.
During the day, it also can help with the psycological stuff. It can give you some motivation, a little bit of energy and just generally make things easier for you during your withdrawal. If I were you, I would start with something like 300mg Gabapentin 3x per day, though this can be increased or decreased.
These are rational drugs for you and your situation. If you have any questions, you know where to find us. We will be there for you in any way that we possibly can. I know how scary everything feels when you're going through this. Just know that you have some friends who aren't going to let you go through this alone. You also won't be the first person we help figure all of this out. It's all possible and you're more than capable of making it happen. I'll talk to you soon!