I don't have a solid plan worked out yet, but I've been down this road enough time to know that things are going to become problematic very quickly if I don't do anything about it, and even immediate action will involve a deal of discomfort. The short of the long is that I got clean from a poly drug addiction in June 2017 and that lasted about 8 months. Things went down hill when I moved back home, started smoking weed occasionally while also slowly trying to get back into my old lifestyle, despite working a decent job and going to school. The truth was that despite things being OK, good at times, and even great at times, I never fully shook the desire for the sub culture I had identified with, nor had I succeeded in truly building a network of friends that have goals and focuses other than getting high, fast money, and partying.
So I'm fucked up rn, going to try and keep this brief. I relapsed on benzos about 2 weeks ago, mild at first and quickly getting out of hand. I enjoy the drunk feeling, and realized more importantly that I haven't fully replaced the stimulation/enjoyment/desire I get from drugs with something healthy like good friends, girlfriend, school, career, music. I am in a cycle of discontent that I am not pursuing my goals and cope with this discomfort with cannabis and occasionally benzos, which then leads to negative thought and I percieve even positive actions as negative because I did them while high.
Not totally sure what the safest thing to do is. Considering detox, although that might interfere with current job offer- though much less than an unaddressed benzo addiction. I'm thinking detox, a little drug counseling, and therapy would do me wonders, just not sure how much insurance will allow. Other option, which tbh has never been successful for myself and was the original goal, is to start taper, and continue light use, even using psychiatric drugs from dr for a brief period until I can get into more stable and self-sufficient position again. Also, have been going to 1-2 NA meetings a week, which vary from meeting and group but at least help serve to remind how bad things can get., also force me to interact with other people face to face. Would prefer to find a SMART meeting, or a non god/higher power dogmatic organization, but that's just me and I see why people like God based ones. Also, am exercising 30-60 min/day.
so to list:
-daily schedule and plan(get as close to completion, modify based on progress)
-list of goals with related to-do list
-1-2 NA meetings a week
-60+min of music practice and/or study
-45+ min of work out or exercise, eat healthier in general
-30+ min of recovery orientated media(this is usually done while exercise or chores)
-10-20 min of meditation(I like white noise style asmr in the dark)
-trying to build friends with same long term goals, as well as less personal friends like gym buddies, maintain old friendships
-taking time to have fun and pursue joy, laughter, and happiness.
That's 2 hours a day of discipline(music practice, exercise, recovery/mental health podcast/article), so 14 hrs a week. This is work towards my goals.
1-2 meetings a week equates to about 2-5+hrs of time for me, as I usually have to drive close to an hour round trip. 1 meeting may be replaced with counseling session, so this brings me to 16-21hrs a week devoted to my recovery program.
Considering I am only working between 20-30hrs a week in general, I think this schedule is manageable until next school semester starts. This puts me at 36-51hrs a week of fairly mild stress level.
I'm probably going to consult a Dr, but I'm hoping this schedule will put me back on track with a month or so, at which point I can refocus on school and work again. Sorry for the rambling, pretty high rn, I know this plan would work assuming I didn't make glaring mistakes. the trouble is holding myself to it while in withdrawal. Oh and I might have made another thread about this(not the NSPD thread, which is about the pharmacology of it vs a recovery journal)) but if I had, just delete the other or merge it. Or I will if I come across.
-
Has anyone had any luck with OTC comfort meds/herbs/supplements/nootroprics for getting through some of the anxiety, depression, and lack of motivation? Been a while since I've had to do this myself, and exercise, diet, mindfulness, meditation, close friends that i can pursue strong interest with are my current ideal methods for dealing with the mild withdrawal.
So I'm fucked up rn, going to try and keep this brief. I relapsed on benzos about 2 weeks ago, mild at first and quickly getting out of hand. I enjoy the drunk feeling, and realized more importantly that I haven't fully replaced the stimulation/enjoyment/desire I get from drugs with something healthy like good friends, girlfriend, school, career, music. I am in a cycle of discontent that I am not pursuing my goals and cope with this discomfort with cannabis and occasionally benzos, which then leads to negative thought and I percieve even positive actions as negative because I did them while high.
Not totally sure what the safest thing to do is. Considering detox, although that might interfere with current job offer- though much less than an unaddressed benzo addiction. I'm thinking detox, a little drug counseling, and therapy would do me wonders, just not sure how much insurance will allow. Other option, which tbh has never been successful for myself and was the original goal, is to start taper, and continue light use, even using psychiatric drugs from dr for a brief period until I can get into more stable and self-sufficient position again. Also, have been going to 1-2 NA meetings a week, which vary from meeting and group but at least help serve to remind how bad things can get., also force me to interact with other people face to face. Would prefer to find a SMART meeting, or a non god/higher power dogmatic organization, but that's just me and I see why people like God based ones. Also, am exercising 30-60 min/day.
so to list:
-daily schedule and plan(get as close to completion, modify based on progress)
-list of goals with related to-do list
-1-2 NA meetings a week
-60+min of music practice and/or study
-45+ min of work out or exercise, eat healthier in general
-30+ min of recovery orientated media(this is usually done while exercise or chores)
-10-20 min of meditation(I like white noise style asmr in the dark)
-trying to build friends with same long term goals, as well as less personal friends like gym buddies, maintain old friendships
-taking time to have fun and pursue joy, laughter, and happiness.
That's 2 hours a day of discipline(music practice, exercise, recovery/mental health podcast/article), so 14 hrs a week. This is work towards my goals.
1-2 meetings a week equates to about 2-5+hrs of time for me, as I usually have to drive close to an hour round trip. 1 meeting may be replaced with counseling session, so this brings me to 16-21hrs a week devoted to my recovery program.
Considering I am only working between 20-30hrs a week in general, I think this schedule is manageable until next school semester starts. This puts me at 36-51hrs a week of fairly mild stress level.
I'm probably going to consult a Dr, but I'm hoping this schedule will put me back on track with a month or so, at which point I can refocus on school and work again. Sorry for the rambling, pretty high rn, I know this plan would work assuming I didn't make glaring mistakes. the trouble is holding myself to it while in withdrawal. Oh and I might have made another thread about this(not the NSPD thread, which is about the pharmacology of it vs a recovery journal)) but if I had, just delete the other or merge it. Or I will if I come across.
-
Has anyone had any luck with OTC comfort meds/herbs/supplements/nootroprics for getting through some of the anxiety, depression, and lack of motivation? Been a while since I've had to do this myself, and exercise, diet, mindfulness, meditation, close friends that i can pursue strong interest with are my current ideal methods for dealing with the mild withdrawal.
