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Being taken advantage by a family member

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
10,725
I've been getting SSI for some mental problems I suffer from for a while now and it's really helped me to be able to pay rent and have some extra money to do the things that anyone else does. Problem is for the last 2 years or so my alcoholism really took off causing a lot of problems. Long story short, the family member I live with successfully took over my finances and now they're stiffing me out of my own money. I don't even know how they were able to gain control behind my back in the first place since I pay rent and all. Either way, their control over my finances went into effect this month and it's just today that they cashed my check and are already being dishonest about how much money I have left after rent.

Despite being an alcoholic I always payed rent on time and I'm extremely pissed off. I've been mostly sober this month and it's been 6 days now since I even had a beer. I guess my question is what should I do? I knew them taking over my money was going to cause problems but I never thought they would outright steal from me so blatantly. I'll probably have to get another payee but I don't know at all how that would work. I plan to talk to my lawyer and social security but I thought I would see if anyone has any other thoughts. It really fucking sucks to not be able to do anything because your asshole family member is holding your money hostage.
 
I'd change it back so only you get the check. And if they didn't like it, I'd probably leave.

If they are at greater risk of misusing your money than they are I see no reason they should be allowed to have access to it. And unless you've been deemed mentally unfit to manage your affairs by the courts, I see no reason you need a lawyer to just change it back so only you get the check. Getting your existing money back however is another matter.
 
I don't think I can tho, and if I can I don't know how. And apparently it's MY lawyer they went to to have this done, or at the very least they got advice from. I'll find out from another family member who I don't hate what exactly happened. I thought in order to gain control of someone's finances you had to go to court and prove they were unable to manage their finances, but this was all done without me even knowing until I got a letter from social security informing me that my SSI was being turned over to a payee. But I didn't even get so much as a fucking phone call from social security to ask me my side of it. If I was even able to go to court over this to try to get back control over my SSI the fact that I've been an alcoholic and in and out of the ER multiple times would probably be brought up so I'm probably fucked as far as that.

Either way it's all a bunch of bullshit. I get why it was done because I was killing myself with alcohol, but I don't think it's very fair that now I don't have any money for ANYTHING and my finances are being controlled by a senile family member who's in debt and can't even manage their own. I already went the better part of the month being broke and now that they finally sent the check I'm getting robbed by my family. I really wish they'd just die already so I could get some inheritance.
 
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Something doesn't sound right in all that. If your lawyer was involved you should fire him and retain new counsel. In the US the power of attorney must keep receipts and records to prove they aren't stealing
 
Yeah this whole thing really fucking sucks having your finances mismanaged by a senile family member. I think I am indeed going to have to go to social security to try to get this fucking mess sorted out. Sometimes I wish I would've just succeeded in drinking myself to death then I wouldn't have to deal with all this constant bullshit.
 
I'll admit that I tend to overuse this option and tend to jump to it the moment shit goes wrong in my life, but I'm gonna bring it up again.

Is running away perhaps an option?
 
Sure if I wanna lose everything I got including my cat and become homeless. I did notice that there's some eviction papers on his desk when I was searching for something so maybe I won't have to. I think I'd rather eat the barrel of my 9mm than become homeless anyways. Take my medication, take my money, take my alcohol, kick me out. I don't got shit and am about at my wits end.
 
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Yeah something is funky with all that... definitely talk to your lawyer. He works for you and should be assisting you in legal matters. I think seeking new legal counsel would be advisable if your lawyer is at all involved.
 
I'm actually not sure if my lawyer was involved now. I could've sworn a different family member had told me something about how they spoke to my lawyer but I would have to see again. Either way I feel like I've been kept in the dark over all of this and now said family member is making up some added expenses for this month that were never taken out, especially one day they claimed they gave me money twice which didn't happen. I don't know if they're purposefully fukking me around, or showing stages of early dementia (they're old), but I'm going to call social security again monday. I tried once already but hung up after I was on hold for 45 minutes. This shit is seriously a pain in the fukking ass.

/rant
 
If I had to guess, your lawyer probably wasn't involved. They have to operate under confidentiality laws and speaking to others about your situation would likely breech a lot of those laws. Either way, it would be a good idea to at least give him/her a call and clear the situation up. I would think that your lawyer would likely have some good advice as to how to handle the situation and could tell you what your legal rights are.

When I got out of jail and rehab I found out my parents had given my neighbor(who is a compulsive liar) the key to my house and told him he could take whatever!! It's so hard not to blow up in frustration and anger, but in my situation I really don't want to cause any more problems or stress.

I hope things work out for you man, feel free to vent here. Let us know how things turn out.
 
Mafioso said:
When I got out of jail and rehab I found out my parents had given my neighbor(who is a compulsive liar) the key to my house and told him he could take whatever!!
Click to expand...

That's beyond fukked up. I would've pressed charges even if it was family.

Mafioso said:
I hope things work out for you man, feel free to vent here. Let us know how things turn out.
Click to expand...

Thanks... Will do.
 
I've already got enough legal problems, probably couldn't afford to even if I wanted to..

I don't think they did it with mal intent, I'm pretty sure they were just overwhelmed by the situation and reacted a little irrationally. Fuck my neighbor though, a damn wolf in sheep's clothing. There will be problems if I see him again, I feel like he not only capitalized on my misfortune, but also took advantage of my parents dismay and our contentious relationship. He's fucking scum who called me his best friend while he's continually lying.

best of luck man, hang in there. Money is important, but there are things more valuable and of greater importance in life. Happiness and sanity are two.
 
Yeah, c'mon, chompy--that is something that would certainly backfire. Nutty, are there mental health advocates where you live? For people on SSI I think there is an something called a Mental Health Ombudsman whose job it is to review and respond to complaints like yours.
 
My mother and then girlfriend back in 2016 tried to get me to agree to be declared mentally unfit so my mother could have complete control over my life. I told them I would never ever ever ever agree to such an arrangement and if they went to a judge to have it done to me involuntarily, I would fight them every step of the way. My mother browbeat my father into changing his will leaving everything to her while he was dying of cancer. I wasn't about to make his mistake. I think you have less to worry about fighting the legality of this than you think. You're an alcoholic, not a schizophrenic who is in and out of reality.
 
First of all. Are you sure this was YOUR lawyer, not the family lawyer who has acted on your behalf in the past. Regardless contact a lawyer for a consultation, that should be about all you need honestly and most lawyers don't mind taking 15 minutes to explain to someone how they can easily help themselves out of a shit situation. However you may have to hire one in the long run. NEVER LET ANYONE GET AHOLD OF YOUR FINANCES. I know hindsight 20 20 and all but my family tried that shit on me when I was at my peak of a benzo run where I couldn't count 5 20's. Anyways lawyer up, a lawyer is an investment not a purchase; remind yourself of this. On a sidenote I had to spend my entire inheritance on a lawyer to help me with a fucking misdemeanor because the lawyer I retained in the county I was in was planning on banking me in a privatized prison and was DEFINITELY not advocating me.
 
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