• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Being jealous

Survival0200

Survival0200

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
3,563
Location
Lonely place in silence
How do you guys deal with being jealous? Is there any way to learn to get rid of it?

I've noticed becoming jealous when a certain friend doesn't give me 100% attention. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. I know it's good for my friend to also have other friends than me, but I still feel jealous. :(

Jealousy is absurd.
 
Jealousy often comes from being insecure. Why are you worried about? Why are you jealous?

I don't get jealous with my boyfriend or with friends. With my boyfriend, I trust him, there is no reason for me not to. With friends, there doesn't seem a point to be jealous. I mean... what would I have to be jealous or insecure about? Friends are friends... what is to be worried about?
 
Survival0200 said:
I'm jealous, cuz my friend has other (better) friends - and I don't. :\
Click to expand...

Yeah some amount of jealousy is healthy I think, but that... Not so much. What makes them better according to you? Also, are you an introvert? I mostly am and used to be kind of like that. But then I realized people are just different. Just because some people have tons of friends doesn't mean that that's right for everyone. On the other hand if you're not happy with your situation I'd recommend looking into why that is.
 
Ah well why don't you make other friends? Not necessarily a ton of friends. But you have a good friend who has other good friends. People generally have more than one friend. You don't have to have TONS of friends. But why not meet other people?
 
when people feel they only have one friend of course they are going to get a bit possesive- you need to get out and meet more people/get a sociable job with lots of interaction.

its all about the numbers.

being possesive/jealous is very offputting as a behaviour/characteristic. you need to meet more people and grow as a person mentally
 
pofacedhoe said:
its all about the numbers.
Click to expand...

I kind of disagree with this... I think some people including myself are fine only having a few close friends. Other people like to have a lot of friends like Myspace, but I wonder how well you can really get to know someone if you have so many. I think it just comes down to what makes that person happy.
 
Survival0200 said:
I've noticed becoming jealous when a certain friend doesn't give me 100% attention. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. I know it's good for my friend to also have other friends than me, but I still feel jealous. :(
Click to expand...

i have a friend like this and he shows it, comes across as him wanting my dick or something plus it's annoying as hell, like he thinks i belong to him or something, i generally avoid him for this reason.

don't be jealous, you'll lose your friend.
 
nuttynutskin said:
I kind of disagree with this... I think some people including myself are fine only having a few close friends. Other people like to have a lot of friends like Myspace, but I wonder how well you can really get to know someone if you have so many. I think it just comes down to what makes that person happy.
Click to expand...

what i meant was that you will not get many good friends unless you meet large numbers of people. out of every hundred people maybe only 1 is worthy of moderate aquaintance status, good friends are rare and you have a better chance at meeting them if you meet lots of people than if you meet very few
 
Yeah I agree with pofacedhoe, you need to meet lots of people. You don't need to be best friends with everyone you meet but, the more people you meet, the better you chance of finding someone you really bond with. I know a TON of people. I am only friends with a few. Acquaintances with many but not actual friends. And the actual friends are who really matter. But you still need to have more than one friend. Some people actually do have like 10 or 15 real friends while others may have 5. But you definitely need more than one friend. It just takes going out, meeting people, trial and error really. :)
 
pofacedhoe said:
what i meant was that you will not get many good friends unless you meet large numbers of people. out of every hundred people maybe only 1 is worthy of moderate aquaintance status, good friends are rare and you have a better chance at meeting them if you meet lots of people than if you meet very few
Click to expand...

Yeah I guess that's true, I've just never been the type of person to go out and meet tons of people.

Survival0200 said:
Yes, I know this. Any tips how to learn to get rid of the jealousy?
Click to expand...

Find out what's making you jealous and ask yourself why. I think a lot of times it comes from wanting something that one sees as unattainable for themselves for whatever reason, (in this case more friends). With the amount of energy it takes to be jealous you could do something about it.
 
Last edited:
Why can't you hang out with your friend and their friends? I have met the majority of my close friends through other friends.

It can be really hard to meet new people, depending on where you live. Why not join a meet up group of people with similar interests?

Jealousy is an ugly color to wear, it's draining and isolating. The key is to keep yourself busy so you don't have so much time to reflect on any negativity in your life.
 
I used to be very possessive and jealous a few years back. but since then ive grown up became a better person. I believe in myself/ actually have self worth and value. ever sense that transformation i have no once been jealous or insecure in a relationship and guess what every relationship with other people and myself have flourished.
 
Survival0200 said:
Yes, I know this. Any tips how to learn to get rid of the jealousy?
Click to expand...
I think the first way to get rid of jealous is to find out what is causing it.
Survival0200 said:
I'm jealous, cuz my friend has other (better) friends - and I don't. :\
Click to expand...
Which you did... :) But are you saying that you are jealous because your friend has other friends that are better than YOU or just that your friend has other friends and you don't?

1) Don't make the assumption that the OTHER friends are better than you.
Friends can't be compared. People get different things out of relationships.
So, your jealousy is just coming from your own insecurity.
Realize you are being silly- and that you are not being compared to as being better or worse.

2)Try to find a new hobby. For one, it will keep you occupied when your other friend is busy, and two, learning something new or experiencing new things helps you grow as a person which builds confidence in yourself- which in turn can help take away insecurity. And lastly, perhaps you'll find a new friend that shares in your new hobby.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top