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Being an "addict"

nearjat

nearjat

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Joined
Dec 19, 2008
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So I've done my "1st Step", what are other peoples experience with this stuff? Like even though I've come to the point where I accept that no use is possible with fucking myself over, I'm starting to think maybe I am being too accepting of theories that promise happiness. I have no REAL question, just wanna hear people experience with 12 step programs.
 
How most people interpret the "First Step" (always interpreted differently, remember that) IME, and all the steps, is they're not something you do just once and goto the next. The first step, especially, you acknowledge and "do" every day.
Without getting too deep into my theories about 12-Steps (which happen to be the most successful at treating addicts, I have mixed emotions about it); The first step you must acknowledge as one of your first thoughts of the day.
Knowing you are "powerless" (hate that word), over your DoC, or drugs, or whatever (knowing that using will snowball you right back into hell), will help you not even consider using during the day.
 
Hey I'm in the middle of my first step. It seems alot to think about (although every step is) that your DoC or any drug will screw you over and I have mixed feelings about it becaus my relapses have actually brought me closer to recovery not farther away. Do you have a sponsor? "Anyone who works the steps by themselves has a fool for a sponsor"
 
it's not really just a one time and over deal like said in the second post, you have to tell yourself that everyday. if you continue to be under the illusion that you are in control of your addiction, it will repeatedly fuck you in the ass.
 
It's a pretty common thing. I believe it's called half-assing it. But seriously theres tons of people in my home meeting that smoke weed or serenity but stay away from their DoC. They do tend to get alot of stares and not alot of appluase when they pick up keytags. Whats your drug of choice?
 
^opiates, followed closely by any other intoxicant. I've been working long and hard on my recovery though. How long do you have clean now?
 
4 days. 30 before that. That 20$ high is a thing of ancient history. Opiates for me as well, even after a month my tolerance is still high 50mg and barely a 2 hour glow.
 
That's great. I hope you can keep up with it and I think you can! Just work what you gotta do to make it happen and stay healthy. Best of luck... :)
 
My DOC is opiates, well kinda. Like opiates and benzos are the only drug I ever got into that really fucked shit up for me. It's not my favorite by a long shot but the only chemicals I've never been able to manage. In the past I've gotten "too preoccupied" with my use but really didn't go off the deep end with anything.

This whole thought process started because I want to roll at this badass rave coming up, I've never been to a rave and I think that'd be extremely awesome to have some MDMA with it. It's hard for me to imagine my life being negatively effected by doing this even though I've been taught very different. I don't want to even smoke bud or drink or anything. Specifically with MDMA and psychedelics I have a hard time considering dangerous for me. The biggest/only problem is that I have lots of friends in recovery and I don't want to lie to them :\
 
"pecifically with MDMA and psychedelics I have a hard time considering dangerous for me. "

dont live the misconception, because youre first time can always be your final time... if youve done this well so far staying clean, dont go venturing out into the unknown until youve come to total grips with your first addiction/dependency. soon enough youll start just asking "why bother?" if something cant be fun sober, is it really fun at all?

just my 2c
 
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