being a needy bitch

[Free Radical]

well i recently figured out that i need to want in order to survive. as in, needs are the soil in which wants can be said to grow.

to make a long story short, i basically drive women away from me once they figure out i have some emotional damage. i really don't know what to do anymore. i fucking hate being around the majority of men because of a history of psychological trauma. medications are not always the answer, and i'm too good of a dude to ever treat sex like a commodity again. i just generally feel like a piece of shit for being who i am and being attracted to the kind of women i like....they're usually not straight. i don't feel like it's wrong of me to like what i like, so don't bother with that. girly girls just piss me off.

whatever

dunno if i'm going anywhere useful with this. it sucks, though. a lot

i just know that i've suffered intensely for quite a long time, and i don't know what i've done to deserve it

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

You gotta work on covering up your internal psycho first of all. Actually removing the damage and processing it in a healthy way takes longer, most likely therapy or some concerted effort on your part to change, but if you're not into doing that just work on a few funny lines and don't complain about deep seeded issues on the first date. "Fake it till you make it!" as the wonderful folks at AA meetings say.
Girls are very good at keeping a concerned face while analyzing and categorically rejecting you once you show your hand, and for good reason: They can't take the chance to get date-raped by some guy with an inferiority complex. So suppress the urges your brain might conjure up to ruin any sort of mood that might be in the air, and just work on yourself in the mean time.

You seem to be suffering from a wide array of things just from the tone of your post. You're saying you like girls who could either pass for a lesbian or who actually are lesbians? So that's a tough spot, but I'd say hang out near the roller rinks in your town. Go to a few Roller Derby matches, maybe buy one of them a drink and see where it goes. Maybe have one of the lesbians who rejected you try to hook you up?

 

[nooneanymore]

My college gf left me to be a lesbien.

Give it time...

You sound young. With time things change and dating / being with someone doesn't seem as important anymore.