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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Been spiraling downwards, now I want to fly up

B

BHO710

Greenlighter
Joined
May 12, 2015
Messages
3
Location
SGV, California
Hi everyone I've been visiting. The site for a while just to read but not it seems that it's time for me to seek advice and wisdom from greater minds. I want to give some background to start. My pet dog has a gf and 2 year old daughter. My dog can't stop smoking meth now. My dog started smoking marijuana when he was 14, and he quickly fell in love with it. It was his life. For the last 4 years there has not been one day in his life that he hasn't smoked. He soon discovered wax(concentrated cannabis) he switched to daily wax smokin which really builds your tolerance. Marijuana isn't the issue with him though, it actually the greatest thing to him. The problem is that for the last 6 months my pet has been smoking meth daily. This wasn't his first time he was a user 3 years ago for 6 months but stopped when he knew he was going to have a puppy. My pet isn't a normal meth user though. At the same time he smokes meth he smokes just as much weed and wax. He quickly became addicted, but because of his pot use he was always up and down all day. I consume meth all day since I awaken and am still able to sleep every night mostly. There might be one day out of the week he stays up but sleeps the next night. He has never met another user that is able to sleep shortly after smoking meth , I'm worried if this is normal. I've had various connects but same thing. My relationship has been struggling because of my use and I can tell it's taking a tool on my body. Problems with my gf only lead to more drug use which only makes our life worse. I know it's time for me to stop but I don't have the will, I had to smoke a bowl right before writing this, how long till meth really takes me past he point of no return ? Is there anyone with similar addiction to both meth and marijuana. I also drink about two 18 packs of beer a week. I just want to hear everyone's stories and advice.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
No need to use "pet dog" (in fact not allowed). It sounds like your use of substances in general has you scared and feels out of control. Listen to your gut--it's speaking honestly and bluntly to your better self. You need to ask why you need to be high all day every day? What makes you uncomfortable in your life? What causes fear or other scary emotions? You do probably have the will to quit but are lacking hope that you can be successful. That's totally understandable.<3 Hopefully we can help you regain the hope and faith in yourself to get out of the downhill slide. Welcome to Bluelight.:)
 
It felt kind of silly writing pet dog anyway. Yes I am actually worried about my health with the meth use. I don't feel sick at the moment but I'm wondering how long rtill I do. Life hasn't been easy and I just can't seem to cope like a normal person. I do have to a need to be high all day everyday on any drug. I started off my life too early and I'm stuck in a relationship that is very argumentative and never seems to go right. I don't want my daughter to grow up seeing her father as a druggie, but hats not enought to make me want to stop. I lie to myself every time and say the is is the last time when I know it's not. I am functional and that's is why I seem to have extra money for drugs. It would Seem the only way for me to quit would be to have no money. I was just wondering if anyone else smokes weed right after meth and vise Versa,
 
I just wanted to say that you have the willpower. You just need to activate your motivation.
Most people find their way out when they are rock bottom. Don´t wait for tragic moments to motivate yourself, I suggest you try to seek for medical help.
It´s easier when you compromise and make plans.
As for your relationship it won´t last if you keep moving backwards. And if this person is important for you, it´s worth it!
Don´t label or put yourself down. You have the same skills as most of us have. Read more about recovery. Ask questions, make your own limit.
You can do it!
Good luck :)
Erik
 
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